Q. How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What? If the light bulb is out, that's what Mother Nature intended!

Q. Why did the chemist at Colorado School of Mines coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
A. Because he wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

Q. Why are environmentalists such bad poker players?
A. 'Cause they like to avoid the flush.

Q. Why is smoking good for the environment?
A. 'Cause it kills humans OUCH!

Q. How do petroleum companies deal with a big oil spill?
A. They use slick lawyers.

Q. How many Bob Dylan fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Q. What did the wind turbine say to the solar panel at the renewable energy convention?
A. Hey, I'm a big fan.

Q. What is it called when a crow is cut in half by a wind turbine?
A. OW!

Q. Which music genre to wind turbines enjoy most?
A. They're heavy metal fans.

Renewable Energy Point to Ponder: Wouldn't you think there would be more wind turbines in Washington, D.C. since there's so much hot air blowing there?

Q. What's the difference between weather and climate?
A. You can't weather a tree, but you can climb it.

Meteorologist Chat Up Line: Hey baby, you are so hot that you must be causing global warming.

Q. What do you call two environmentalists hugging a redwood in Yosemite National Park?
A. A tree-some.

Q. What do you call somebody who goes on an on about all they do to save the environment?
A. An eco-mainiac.

Q. How do solar panels like their eggs?
A. Sunny side up.

Q. Why couldn't the guy start his new chewing gum recycling business?
A. He was having problems getting it off the ground.

Q. Which recycling facility is the most lively?
A. The organ transplant center

Q. What do you call little wrapped bags discarded by the Chinese restaurant?
A. Dumplings.

Q. why is garbage so sad?
A. 'Cause it's always down in the dumps

Q. What do you call environmentally-friendly leprechauns who reuse their natural resources?
A. Wee-cyclers.

Q. What are some recycled mannequin parts called in the faxhion industry?
A. Hand me downs.

Q. What do you call giving away items instead of trashing them?
A. Free-cycling.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job at the aluminum can recycling plant?
A. The work was soda-pressing.

Q. 'who are the most famous recycling triplets?
A. Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Q. Why did the guy at the shoe recycling plant quit his job?
A. 'Cause it was sole depressing.

Q. Why don't old environmentalists ever die?
A. Because they believe in recycling.

Q. Why did the guy quit his position at the oil exploration company?
A. The job was a real bore.

Q. What happened when the farmers installed wind turbines on the farm?
A. They created an energy field.

Q. How did the rural couple feel about the crew who completed the oil exploration on their land?
A. He did well by them.

Energy Thought of the Day: When the oil field was depleted, operations shut down. But, the owner is still quite well off.

Q. Which color is the favorite of wind turbine engineers?
A. Blew.

Q. How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. They do not change bulbs; they search for the root of the cause of why the bulb went out.

Q. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Zen masters don't need to screw in light bulbs because the light is always with them.

Q. When does a renewable energy turbine blush?
A. When it breaks wind.

Q. What do wind turbines do to entertain each other?
A. They shoot the breeze.

Q. Which day of the week do renewable energy turbines celebrate?
A. Winds-day.

Q. How did the oil driller do after all his employees quit?
A. He did well for himself.

Q. What did the suburban couple think about the new oil rig they could see while trying to relax on their porch swing?
A. It did not sit well with them.

Q. What did the wind turbine say to the coal-burning energy plant at the renewable energy convention?
A. I'm just here to clear the air.

Q. What did one turbine say to the rest of the wind farm?
A. There's something in the air.

Q. Why was the turbine blade just laying on the ground?
A. Somebody knocked the wind out of it.

Q. How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Survivors of nuclear war glow in the dark.

Q. What is a solar energy spill called?
A. A nice day.

Q. Why are solar panels so easy to get along with?
A. They always have a sunny disposition.

Q. What is a solar panel's favorite beverage?
A. Sunny-D.

Q. What is the theme song of solar panels all over the planet?
A. Here Comes the Sun.

Q. Why can't wind turbines make plans for the future?
A. 'Cause they're always up in the air.

Q. How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but it takes ten-million years.

Q. Why didn't the ammonite move?
A. 'Cause it needed fossil fuel.

Q. What do you call energy that takes a team to produce?
A. Crewed oil.

Q. Why was the oil company behind schedule?
A. Because there were too many projects in the pipeline.

Scientists believe that the Yellowstone super volcano is overdue for an eruption, and they're calling it Eruptile Dysfunction.

Q. What is the zen philosophy of wind turbines?
A. one good turn deserves another.

Q. What do you need to know to become a city trash collector?
A. You just p;ick it up as you go along

Q. What is it called when a garbage collector has a filty mouth?
A. Trash talking.

Trashy Pick-Up Line: Dang hottie, you smell like garbage, so how 'bout I take you out right now?

Q. What did the boss at the trash collecting company say when he fired the garbageman?
A. You're canned.

Q. What is a conversation between two garbage cans called?
A. Trash talk.

Q. What is a group of very small trash containers called?
A. A litter.

Eco Fact of the Day: Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called rain.

Q. How many lumens does it take to replace a 60 watt light bulb?
A. It doesn't matter as long as it's not that creepy blue LED color!

Q. How many suburbanites does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but it has to look just like every other house on the block.

Q. How many black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

Q. How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Zen Masters carry their own light.

Q. Why are wind turbines terrible baseball players?
A. 'Cause they just swing at air.

Environmental scientists have recently calculated that taking a five minute shower uses 2/3 less water than a 15 minute shower does.

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