Q. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? A. Laughing stock!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you get if you give pasta to a cow? A. Beefaroni!
You might from Colorado if you will not touch Rocky Mountain Oysters, not even with a ten foot pole!
Cow Chef Says: Spoiler Alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks!
Q. What do you call a cow that's afraid of the dark? A. A coward!

Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? A. Because the cow has the udder!
Q. Why did the cow jump over the moon? A. Because the farmer had cold hands!
Cow Chef Asks: Why did yogurt go to the art exhibit? A. Because it was cultured!


Cow Jokes, Bovine Humor, Pucky Cow Puns
Moo-sey on in for cow comedy, dairy funny cow jokes, bovine humor and bull sh*t cow puns.

Funny Cow Jokes, Bull Humor, Cow Riddles
(Because Urban Cow Jokes and City Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Crazed Cows and Horny Bulls on Wall Street!)
Warning: Manure Animals and Cows Present. Watch Where You Walk! The smell isn't the most painful pat here.
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On the Moon | Bull Puns | Cowboy Jokes | Dairy Farm Humor |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Bad Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Pig Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Fun On the Farm | Farm Crime LOLs | Farm Music Jokes |

Q. Where did the bull lose all his money? A. At teh cowsino!Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before. Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cow? A. Roost Beef!

Q. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. What do you call it if a mad cow gets loose?
A. Udder destruction!

Q. What is a high tech Aussie cow called?
A. An E-moo.

Q. What do you get from a cowmedian?
A. Cream of Wit and lots of bullcrap.

Q. How are cow pies and cowgirls alike?
A. Pardner, the older they are, the easier they are to pick up!

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. Why do cows like Painful cow Puns?
A. They like being a-moosed.

Q. How does a cow become virtually invisible?
A. She uses camooflage.

Q. What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A. A pat on the head!

Q. Why does the neighborhood that's next to the milk processing plant smell so bad?
A. 'Cause that's the smell of dairy air.

Steak Pick-Up Line: You're my grill and I'm your broil.

Q. What did the cow say to the lady butcher?
A. You're making a big steak, Miss.

Q. Where do cows buy their stuff?
A. From a cattle-log.

Q. Why did the cow tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
A. She believed children should be seen and not herded!

Q. How do cows in Colorado get high?
A. Milkweed.

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. A Milk DudQ. Why was the cow afraid? A. She was a cow-herd!Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. An Udder Failure

Q. Where can you find a gallery of cows?
A. At an art moo-seum.

Q. What do young calves call their lifelong buddies?
A. Best Friends for Heifer!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink with his meals?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What classic rock band is a favorite of cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. Why do cows lie down when it rains?
A. To keep each udder dry.

Q. How do you know that there are cows in heaven?
A. It's a place of udder delight.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a weed eater?
A. A Lawnmooer!

Q. What did the sleep-deprived rancher say to his cow who was mooing into the wee hours?
A. It's pasture bedtime!

Q. What is the worst thing you can call a cow?
A. A MOOron.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers.

Q. What do you call one cow half?
A. Calf.

Q. What was the cattle rustler doing when he broke into the ranch?
A. Taking stock.

Q. Why can't cows become detectives? A. Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!Q. What do you call a sleeping bull? A. Bull DozerQ. Is t easy to ilk a cow? A. It's a piece of steak!

Q. What did the beef steak gossip to the pork chop?
A. Did you meet Frank's new girlfriend, Patty? I hear they're engaged to be marinated.

Q. If cows carry ecoli and chickens carry salmonella, what do pigs carry?
A. A gun, a badge, and a get out of jail free card.

Q. Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers?
A. She heard he was a cowpuncher.

Q. Why does a cow go to work each day?
A. To earn lots of moola.

Q. How do bulls drive cars?
A. They just steer them.

Q. What do ranchers call a bull that's swallowed a grenade?
A. Abominable.

Q. What do you call a grumpy cow?
A. Moo-dy.

Q. How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A. You have to wait until she busts a moove.

Q. Why was the psychic cow so hard to find?
A. She was medium rare.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anybody can roast beef.

Q. How far can steak go in school?
A. It can go to cowledge where it can get up to 450 degrees.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a poodle?
A. Cow Poo!

Q. How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A. Ten little piggies, two calves, one ass, one beaver and several thousand hares.

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled MilkQ. What do you call a cow without any front legs? A. Lean beef!Q. Why can't cows remember what they're told? A. It just goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q. Where do cows go for lunch?
A. Calf-eteria.

Q. What do you call a very sad cow?
A. Mooved to tears.

Q. What does a calf get after its done all its chores?
A. A little moo-ney.

Bull Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, with you in my head, this cow goes moooo.

Q. What do you call a cow with only two left feet?
A. A side of beef.

No, BBQ beef is not just a mere udderance to a grill master.

Q. What is a cow's favorite holiday?
A. Moo-morial Day

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Bessie, my love for you is as crazy as mad cow disease.

Q. What goes boo boo boo?
A. A cow with a stuffy nose.

Q. What goes ooooo?
A. A cow with no lips.

Q. What goes oom oom?
A. A cow walking backward.

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Elsie, can I place this cowbell around your neck? 'Cause I want to follow you forever.

Q. Why was teh rancher arrested at the gym? A. He was hurting his calves!You might be from Colorado if you highly recomment the Rocky Mountain Oysters to your visiting in-laws!Q. What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A. Show us your calves!

Q. Why did the cow stop running?
A. Because her calves were sore.

Q. Why are cows such gifted dancers?
A. They're born hoofers.

Q. Do they serve T-bone steaks in Transylvania?
A. Only very rarely.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbeque?
A. To get a spare rib.

Q. Why did the beef herd return to the cannabis field?
A. It was a classic case of the pot calling the cattle back. Plus, the steaks have never been higher!

Q. Why do cows like to ski at Aspen?
A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q. Where do USA cows go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.

Q. What do weightlifting cows have for dessert?
A. Beefcake!

Q. What do you get if you put a cow on a trampoline?
A. A milk shake.

Q. How do you describe a very fit bull that goes to the gym?
A. Beefy.

Bull asks: Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull dragged him more than a mile!Q. Why don't cows have any money? A. Because farmers milk them dry!Q. What is a cow's favorite deli meat? A. Bull-ogna!

Q. What did the grill master say to the vegan?
A. Sorry, I can't listen to your rantings right now, while more important things are at steak.

Q. Which animals like to wear socks?
A. Calves.

Bullish Pick-Up Line: Hey Bessie, I have a major horn on for you.

Old dairy farmers never die because they just keep getting butter and butter.

Q. What is the definition of derange?
A. Where de cowboys ride wild.

Q. What do you call a really strong cow?
A. Beefy.

Q. What do cows suffer from when they're sick?
A. Hay Fever.

Q. Which actress makes money on the side by managing multiple cow and sheep enclosures?
A. Stockyard Channing.

Bull Pick-Up Line: Cow you doin'?

Q. What do you call it when a steer is on stilts?
A. Raising the steaks!

Q. What is a cow's least favorite Elvis Presley song?
A. Love Meat Tenders.

Q. Which sport entails rounding up and stealing cattle as a form of dramatic entertainment?
A. Professional rustling.

Old dairy cows never die, but they do kick the bucket.

| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
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| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |

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