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Q. Which insect really bugs your locksmith? A. A Mosquito!

Q. Where do mice put their dead to rest? A. Mouseoleum
Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny


Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. What's sour, green, and swims in an aquarium? A. A trop-pickle fish!
Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.


Wildlife Pun: Male deer have buck teeth!

Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!
Q. Which insect never plays quarterback? A. The Fumble Bee!

 

 


Garden Animal Humor, Fauna Jokes, Pest Puns
Buzz in for biting insect jokes, squirrelly humor, toothy rabbit grins and toad-ally funny frog puns.

Garden Critter Jokes and Backyard Wildlife Humor
(Because Fauna Puns and Backyard Creature Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream On Your Side of the Fence!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Bucked up deer jokes, pesky mosquito humor, and owl-ful backyard bird puns ahead.
| Garden Animal Jokes | Gardener Jokes | Plant Puns | Flower Jokes | Lawn Ornament LOLs |
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| Animal Poop Puns | Bat | Bear Jokes | Bee Puns | Deer Jokes | Frog Jokes | Insect Bites |
| Mouse Jokes | Owl Hoots | Rabbit Humor | Snake Puns | Spider Jokes | Big Bigfoot Laughs |

Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.
 
Who do you call when mosquitoes attack? A. The SWAT team!
 
Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies

Q. What is a toad's favorite spring garden flower?
A. The Croak-us!

Q. What do you call a frog that is always telling lies?
A. An Am-fib-ian.

Q. What is a frog's favorite summer garden flower?
A. A Bug-onia.

Q. What do you get if you plant a frog in your garden?
A. A cr-oak tree!

Q. Why is it so hard to poison a frog?
A. 'Cause they know the anti-toad.

Q. What do you hear if you cross a frog and a rooster?
A. Croak-a-doodle-do!

Q. What is a mosquito's favorite summertime sport?
A. Skin Diving.

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Too much competition!

Q. Why was the hornet looking for the trash cans?
A. Because it wasn't a litterbug!

Q. What is the most musical insect out in your garden?
A. The Hum Bug.

Q. What do you call a ladybug or a scarab that prefers to ascend up steep surfaces?
A. An uphill beetle.

Q. Which kind of insect jumps over cups on yur picnic table?
A. The Glass-Hopper.

Q. What does a funny bunny do out in your garden?
A. It tells hare-brained jokes.

Q. Why did the rabbit build himself a hutch?
A. 'Cause he was fed up with the hole thing.

Q. Why did the hornet decide not to land on the bunny?
A. 'Cause the rabbit already has two Bs.

Q. What is it like to be a backyard rabbit breeder?
A. It's a hare-raising experience.

Q. What do you get when you cross a tornado with rabbits?
A. A Hare-icane.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog with a bunny?
A. A Ribbit.

Q. In New England, what do they call a deer with no eyes? A. No Idea!
 
Q. Why don't programmers like nature? A. Too Many Bugs
 
Q. In New England, what do they call a deer wit no eyes and no legs? A. Still No Idea!

Q. Which kind of deer is a natural-born weather forecaster?
A. The Rain Deer!

Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse and a deer?
A. Mickey Moose.

Q. What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
A. Buck Off, man!

Q. Why don't suburban deer laugh at these Painful deer Puns?
A. 'Cause deer don't think they're very fawny.

Q. Why did the antelope mourn at the forest funeral?
A. It lost a deer friend.

Q. What do you call an antelope that's forbidden to marry?
A. Cant-elope.

Q. What do you call it when two ants run away to get married?
A. Ant-elopes!

Q. Why don't ants ever get sick?
A. Because they have anty bodies.

Q. What do you call a small female insect who can see the future?
A. Clair Voy Ant.

Q. What do ants use to smell nice?
A. De-odor-ant.

Q. How does a queen ant keep all the workers happy?
A. She medicates them with ant-i-depressant drugs.

Q. Where do the most ants live?
A. In Antlantic City.

Today's Buggy Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that ants donít live in Antarctica?

Q. What did the doe say to the 24-point buck?
A. Boy, you're horny!

Q. What do you get if you cross a deer and a ghost?
A. Cariboo!

Q. Which new scary movie serves venison at the theater concession stand during every showing?
A. A Nightmare On Elk Street.

Q. What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
A. Bambi-dextrous.

Q. Who did Bambi invite to his birthday party?
A. Just his nearest and deerest friends.

Q. What do you call a deer that can't quit drinking?
A. An elk-o-holic.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a cactus? A. A Porky Pine!
 
Q. What do you get if you cross an alligator and a pickle? A. A crocodill!
 
Wild Animal Pun: Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot!

Q. Why wouln't the porcupine were a tuxedo?
A. 'Causehe was already sharply dressed.

Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.

Q. Whet did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. How many skunks does it take to make a big stink in your neighborhood?
A. A phew!

Q. Why are skunks so clever?
A. Because they have natural in-stinks!

Q. What do you call a man who loves critters like mice, rats, and roaches?
A. God's gift to vermin.

Prairie Dog Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is there room enough for me in your gopher hole?

Q. Why do rats come after bats?
A. That's just how the dictionary works.

Q. What do you get when you cross a poisonous frog with a swamp gator?
A. A croak-adile.

Q. Why shouldn't you taunt a crocodile?
A. It might come back to bite you in the end!

Q. What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A. A Navi-Gator!

Q. What do you get if you cross a crocodile and a rooster?
A. Croc-a-doodle-do!

Q. What is a alligator's favorite ballet?
A. Swamp Lake.

Q. What is an iguana's favorite movie?
A. The Lizard of Oz.

Q. What do you call a snake that's not wearing clothes?
A. Snaked!

Q. What does a snake take to relieve its spring allergy symptoms?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Q. How does a Great Horned bird say goodbye?
A. Owl see you later.

Q. Why didn't the night owl go to the old owl's funeral?
A. 'Cause he wasn't a mourning person.

Q. What do you call a fugitive owl that's about to be apprehended?
A. A Spotted Owl.

Q. What do you call owls that only hunt at night?
A. Bedtime preyers.

Q. What do you call the leader of the flock of marauding crows?
A. Branch manager.

Q. How does garden gossip travel so quickly from crow to crow?
A. Bird of Mouth!

Q. What is it called when a crow is cut in half by a wind turbine?
A. OW!

I have no idea how to raise chickens? So I guess I'll just have to wing it!
 
Funny Arachnid Riddle: Q. What do you call young married spiders? A. Newly Webs
 
Q. What do you call a chicken with lettuce in her eye? A. Chicken Caesar Salad!

Urban Poultry Point to Ponder: If you have backyard chickens and take care of them, are you a chicken tender?

Q. Which backyard animal tells chicken jokes?
A. A comedi-hen!

Q. Which kind of yard bird is afraid to fly?
A. A chicken.

Q. What is the door to your backyard chicken coop called?
A. The h-entrance.

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in your backyard henhouse?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Q. Why did the backyard chicken join the neighborhood garage band?
A. She already had the drumsticks.

Q. Which kind of chicken grows on an oak?
A. Poultry!

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Q. How tall are garden tarantulas?
A. They're all 8-footers.

Q. Which kind of garden spider is always mistaken for another type of arachnid?
A. Daddy Wrong Legs.

Q. Which kind of spider likes to play beer drinking games in the garage?
A. Daddy Pong Kegs.

Q. Which kind of garden arachnid hangs out under the trampoline?
A. The Jumping Spider.

Q. Which kind of spider coexists happily with rodents in your yard?
A. Ratty Long Legs.

Q. Why was the arachnid howling?
A. 'Cause he was a wolf spider.

Q. What do chickens grow on?
A. Eggplants!

Q. What do you get if you cross a garden mole and a rooster?
A. A whack-a-doodle.

Q. What do you call it when chickens and ducks fall out of the sky?
A. Fowl Weather.

Q. Which dance will a backyard chicken never ever do?
A. The Fox Trot.

Hen: I really hate my chicken legs.
Raven: At least you don't have crow's feet!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A. Cocker-Poodle-Do!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for a crowd!

Q. What is a mouse's favorite game? A. Hide and Squeak
 
Q. What did the beekeeper say whn his bees made cannabis honey? A. Do-Bee Do-Bee Do!
 
Q. What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A. It's been nice gnawing you!

Q. How do you save a rodent that's drowning in your garden pond?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Q. What is it called when suicidal ants eat an entire box of rat poison?
A. Committing Pesticide.

Q. When is it especially bad luck to see a black cat in your yard?
A. When you're a mouse.

Q. How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike on a ranch?
A. The cat'll eat it.

Q. What do you get when you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
A. The stink-eye from the mouse.

Q. How do mice celebrate when they find a new place to nest?
A. They have a mouse-warming party.

Q. What do you call a beehive that bees cannot get out of?
A. Un-bee-leave-able!

Q. What did the bees in the hive say when it was 100ļ outside?
A. Sure swarm in here!

Q. What is more dangerous than being with a fool out in the garden?
A. Fooling with a bee!

Q. Which classic rock band is guaranteed to get your backyard beehive buzzing?
A. Pollen Oates.

Q. Why don't hornets ever leave tips at outdoor cafes?
A. 'Cause they're stingy.

Buggy Backyard Pick-Up Poetry: I'm the flower, you're the bee. So, why don't you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?

Q. What did the tough carrot say to the rabbit thug?
A. So, you wanna piece of me?

Q. Where do backyard bunnies live?
A. In their rabbit-tat.

Q. What do rabbits say before they eat their first course of your garden Bibb crop?
A. Lettuce pray.

Q. How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A. Ten little piggies, two calves, one ass, one beaver and several thousand hares.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a spider?
A. A Hare Net.

Q. What happens if a rabbit mates with a backyard chicken?
A. He's the first rabbit to lay an egg.

Q. Why don't Americans eat snails? A. Because they like fast food!
 
Q. How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Squirrels only change bulbs that are nut broken!
 
Q. What's worse than finidin half a worm in an apple? A. Spitting out the ohter half!

Q. What is a garden slug?
A. A snail with a housing problem.

Q. How do garden slugs communicate with each other?
A. They use snail mail.

Q. What do frogs order at French restaurants?
A. Snails.

Customer: Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger one?

Customer: There's a worm on my plate.
Waiter: Yes sir, you ordered the wurst.

Q. Which kind of fast food do bees like best?
A. Hum-burgers.

Q. Which fast food side dish do mice like to order?
A. Cheese fries.

Urban Gardening Point to Ponder: If I bought an ant farm, where would I find a tractor that small?

Q. How does a snake invite visitors to his garden?
A. Every Birdie's Welcome!

Q. Why did a squirrel disassemble the classic car?
A. To get to the nuts and bolts.

Q. What do you get if you cross a spider and a tree squirrel?
A. A pest that runs up your leg to eat your nuts!

Q. Why don't backyard squirrels have very many friends?
A. Because they drive everybody nuts.

Q. How do you catch a squirrel?
A. Just climb up a tree and act like a nut.

Q. Why was the squirrel so stressed out?
A. Because he spent so much time out on a limb.

Q. Why did a squirrel swim across the stream on his back?
A. He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Backyard Fauna Come-On: Hey baby, I wish you and I were squirrels, so I could bust a nut in your hole.

Q. How do you know if you're suffering from a mole problem?
A. They're giving out confidential information to other gardeners.

Q. What is a stag's favorite part of gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with his hoes.

Q. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.

Q. What did the spring robin say to the early worm?
A. I'll catch cha later...

Q. What's inside an apple that is an avid reader?
A. A bookworm.

Q. Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.

Q. What is a gardener's least fave British Invasion tribute band?
A. The Japanese Beetles!

Buggy Point to Ponder: What do you call a male ladybug?

Q. Which kind of insect takes a lot of pictures?
A. A Shutterbug.

Q. What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.

Q. What do you call a dead hornet?
A. A was.

Buggy Pick-Up Line: Hey girly, are you a termite? 'Cause you're about to get a mouth full of wood.

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