Q. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? A. It was his doody!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Q. Why did Captain Kirk visit the Romulan loo? A. To boldly go where no man has gone before!
Happy Turds DAy!
Q. Why did Batman flush the toilet? A. Because it was his duty!
Q. How are the Enterprise and toilet paper alike? A. Both circle Uranus wiping out Klings!
Port-potties say: Go Broncos! Omaha! No Sh*t!
Q. What do you call a Doctor in the sewer? A. Doctor Poo!
Proctologists reASSure patients their problem can be rectified. (Ouch!)
Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player? He wanted to buy a bowel!

 


Crap Bathroom Humor, Poo Puns, Shitty Jokes
Flush down stinking funny poop puns, crappy toilet jokes, lavatory laughs and turd-party humor.

Poop Jokes, Crappy Puns, Turdy Toilet Jokes
(Because Poop-tacular Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You Need to Take a Doo-licious Dump!)
Warning: Proceed with Doo Caution! Shit humor, feces funnies, crap jokes, and turd degree puns ahead.
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, Urologist Humor | Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet? A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

Q. Which part of a trilogy is always a real stinker?
A. Da Turd Part!

Q. What did one turd say about another turd's good news?
A. That's just craptastic!

Q. What do New Yorkers call a bird that poops on your head?
A. A stool pigeon.

Q. What do both your toilet and butt call it when a giant turd is on the way?
A. A groaner.

Q. What did one fly ask another fly at a social gathering?
A. Is this stool taken?

Poop-ular Ad Slogan: Eat sh*t! 'Cause trillions of flies cannot be wrong!

Q. Which chocolate brown frozen confection dog treat never made it to market?
A. Poopsicles.

Q. What does a toilet and a street fight have in common?
A. Shit goes down.

Q. What is green and smelly?
A. Incredible Hulk poop!

Q. What do you call it when a drunk passes out on the toilet?
A. Pooper Stuper.

Q. Who protected fossilized human excrement in silent films?
A. The Keystone Cop-rolites.

Q. Why was the guy alarmed after using the toilet and taking a really huge dump?
A. Because he feared he lost one turd of his weight.

Q. What do you get if you poop in your jeans? A. Dungarees!I love my toilet! We've been through a lot of sh*t together!Q. What is brown and sounds like a bell? A. Dung

Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A. Oh gosh, that horrible smell is coming from the corridor.

Q. What did one turd ask his hot date?
A. Is that love in the air?

Did you hear about the guy who was suffering from diarrhea for the past few days? He's finally making some solid progress now.

Pooper Scooper: Dude, I make $500 a week picking up dog sh*t.
Dude: That's gross.
Pooper Scooper: No, that's net.

Q. What do you call a magical poop?
A. PooDini!

Q. Are poop jokes the most popular toilet humor theme?
A. No, butt they are a solid #2!

Q. What does a baker call it when he's stealing away in the restroom for a moment?
A. Pinching a loaf.

Q. How did one guy get over his chronic diarrhea?
A. He made some positive lifestyle changes and really got his shit together.

Q. How are dog poop and women alike?
A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

When the plumber broke up with his girlfriend, he said, "It's over, Flo."

Q. How does a dung beetle make his house smell better?
A. With aromatic Poop-ourri!

Poop is a crap palindrome.

Q. What is brown and hidden behind the wall?
A. Humpty's dump.

Did you hear about the plumbers who went to Vegas to play some craps?

Q. Where does a pirate go when he has diarrrhea?
A. The poop deck.

Q. Wanna hear a dog poop joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks...

Q. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? A. It was his doody!Q. Why did Batman go into the men's room? A. H guano do his duty!Q. How are men like laxatives? A. Both can irritate the sh*t out of you!

Q. What did the poop say to the fart?
A. Wow, you just blew me away!

Q. How did pirates describe ocean conditions after the whole crew took a dump?
A. Poop-sea.

Q. What kind of bathroom humor do butts like best?
A. Shitty jokes.

Did you hear about the guy who claimed smoking cannabis was giving him diarrhea? His doctor told him to shit and get off the pot.

Q. What do reporters call a news story about dog sh*t? ?
A. A Poop Scoop.

Q. What do you call Clark Kent when he's got diarrhea?
A. Super duper pooper.

Q. What is the lament of sad poop spiraling toward an anus?
A. The end is near!

Q. What is a fart?
A. The lonely cry of an abandoned turd.

Q. What should you say to somebody is anxious about having diarrhea?
A. Dude, don't lose your shit!

Q. What does your dog say when you ask him to produce a feces specimen for the vet?
A. It's the least I could doo.

People who tell you that they're constipated are full of crap.

Q. How does a swimmer piece of shit greet the rest of the guys in the pool?
A. What's crappening, turds!

Q. What happened when the guy called in sick to work because he had diarrhea?
A. His boss told him to get his shit together.

Q. Why are butt jokes so funny?
A. Because they're sure to crack you up!

Two dogs meet on the street and do a ritual sniff. One turns to the other and says, "I don't recall your name, but the feces familiar."

Q. Why was Tigger in the toilet? A. He was looking for Pooh!Q. What did a hamburger say to another hamburger in the bathroom? A. I musturd!I quit my gym becuase one of the instructors shouted at me, "come on man, you've got to want it" Come on push. Youcan do it." I hate being disturbed whn I'm taking a dump!

Q. Why does Piglet smell so bad?
A. Because he likes to play with Pooh!

Q. When shouldn't you tell a stinking funny poop joke?
A. If it's just too crappy.

Q. Why don't elevators have toilets?
A. Because that's taking shit to a whole new level.

Q. What did the grumpy old man do about his constipation?
A. Nothing. He just stopped giving a shit.

Did you hear about the guy at Burger King who took a dump in the restroom? Naturally, it was a Whopper.

Q. Why isn't there a National Constipation Day?
A. Because nobody gives a shit.

You wanna hear a poop joke? Oh nevermind ... It's too corny.

Q. What do you call an experimental high tech toilet made out of iron, carbon, and aluminum?
A. A FeCAl Matter.

Q. What will they call a crappy cop after a successful weight reduction diet a million years from now?
A. A Coprolite.

Q. Which soft drink do proctologists enjoy in the office breakroom?
A. Poopsie Cola.

Q. Why is constipation such a big problem?
A. Because if you ignore that shit, it becomes a real pain in the ass.

Q. How are a plumber and a bodybuilder alike?
A. They both like pumping iron.

Hulk Says: Yuck, I just stepped in a big pile of Monday!I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had the biggest vowel movement ever today!Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!

Q. What do you call a reporter who does stories about dirty dog parks?
A. A Pooper Scooper.

Q. Why don't you ever fart in church?
A. Because you need to sit in your pew!

Q. Why did the contestant miss the word constipation at the spelling bee?
A. Because that shit was harder than he'd thought.

Restroom Point to Ponder: You really to have to hand it to toilets because they really take a lot of shit.

Q. What do you call it when you're diagnosed with paranoia and constipation?
A. Scared Shitless!

Q. Why do dogs always stop to sniff anonymous dog sh*t?
A. It's aromatic poop-pourri to them.

People say love is the best feeling ever. But I think finding a toilet when you're having a sudden attack of diarrhea is better.

Q. Which day of the week is the favorite for human excrement?
A. Turds-Day.

Q. How is getting an Amber Alert while you're on the toilet like winning the lottery?
A. Those alerts are designed to scare the crap out of you!

Q. What is the most productive time to take your dog for a walk?
A. Poo-thirty.

Q. What happened when a truck carrying intestines for transplant collided with a truck hauling chairs on the highway?
A. It was a catastrophic bowel movement, and bits of stool went everywhere!

Q. What do you call a TV episode that's dedicated to past flatulence?
A. A gassy montage.

Q. What happened when the guy registered at a website for constipation sufferers?
A. It wouldn't let him log out!

Q. Which movie role did John Travolta turn down after reading the script?
A. Poop Fiction.

Q. How do you know if a toilet is lying to you?
A. Just look inside to see if it's full of shit.

Q. What’s it called when a skeleton poops in your toilet and doesn't flush? A. A spooky dookie.

Q. Which snack do dogs prefer while watching a crappy movie with their human?
A. Poop-corn.

| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, Urologist Humor | Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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