Crappy Jokes, Toilet Puns, Bathroom Humor 10

Crappy Puns, Toilet Humor, Bathroom Jokes
(Because Crappy Bathroom Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Standing In Line at the Loo!)

Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player? He wanted to buy a bowel!

Q. Why did the volcano explode? A. It couldn't find a lava-tory!

Q. Why don't single women fart? A. Because they don't have ass holes until they're married!

Q. Why isn't there a National Constipation Day?
A. Because nobody gives a shit.

I've just seen the video of my colonoscopy. The picture was crap. Thank goodness, we don't have smell-a-vision, yet!

Q. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology?
A. Because he liked to play with balls.

Q. What happened when the guy called in sick to work because he had diarrhea?
A. His boss told him to get his shit together.

Shitty Point to Ponder: If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that 1 in 5 enjoy it?

Did you hear about the guy who was suffering from diarrhea for the past few days? He's finally making some solid progress now.

Q. What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A. You're the wind beneath my wings.

Q. What is the first rule of scuba diving?
A. Never fart inside your wet suit!

Q. Why don't nasty farts graduate from elementary school?
A. Because they always get expelled.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever fart in church?
A. Because you have to sit in your pew!

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had the biggest vowel movement ever today!

Q. Why did Batman go to the men's room? A. Because he's Bathman!

Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!

People say love is the best feeling ever. But I think finding a toilet when you're having a sudden attack of diarrhea is better.

Q. What did the guy with diarrhea say to the guy with constipation?
A. I shit, you not!

Q. What did the doctor prescribe for the guy who was all stressed out about his chronic constipation?
A. A relaxative.

Q. What did Robin say to Batman when they finally found a box of tissues?
A. Holy Kleenex! It was right under our nose and we *almost* blew it!

Q. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals?
A. Because that's beneath them.

Q. Why is the name diarrhea so appropriate?
A. Because it perfectly describes a dire rear!

Q. What do you call a TV episode that's dedicated to past flatulence?
A. A gassy montage.

Gassy Point to Ponder: If you fart while traveling at the speed of light, would you smell it before you heard it?

Q. What happened when the guy registered at a website for constipation sufferers?
A. It wouldn't let him log out!

Superman Says: If Monday had a face, I would punch it!

Q. What's big and brown and behind the wall? A. Humpty's Dump!

Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. Because it's finger-licking good!

Q. What is Superman's favorite part of this super sh*tty toilet joke?
A. The punch line!

Q. What did one turd say about another turd's good news?
A. That's just craptastic!

Q. What do citizens of Metropolis call a bird that poops on your head?
A. A stool pigeon.

Q. What did one turd ask his hot date?
A. Is that love in the air?

I was going to tell you a poop joke, but it's a real stinker.

Q. What did the turd say to the fart?
A. That last one really blew me away!

Q. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center?
A. Coming and Going.

Q. Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
A. Ugh, it hasn't come out yet...

You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
– Jeff Foxworthy

Q. What did critics say to the guy who invented perforated toilet paper ?
A. This stuff is tear-able!

TP Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, is your name Charmin? 'Cause you really wipe me out.

Q. Why did the toilet paper join a rock band?
A. Because it was on a roll!

Beer glass asks: Why does corona go through your system so fast? A. Becuase it doesn't have to stop to change color!

Q. How is playing the viola like peeing in your pants? A. Both give you a nice warm feeing without making a sound!

Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!

Q. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common?
A. I pee, eh.

A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii."

Q. What do you call a cheesy mustache soaked in urine?
A. Pis-tachio.

Q. What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists?
A. Urologists only work on one bone.

So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones – welcome to the Stone Age.

Q. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope?
A. A device with a prick on both ends.

Q. What happened to the kid who got all muddy playing outdoors?
A. He found himself in hot water.

#2 Woe of cops on stake outs: When you're sitting in the dirt, and you feel something squirt. Call for back up? (#1 is less conspicuous to deal with.)

Q. What happened when the shipment of toilet paper crashed on the freeway?
A. Police described the scene as a real wipe-out.

Q. Why couldn't the cops catch the toilet bandit?
A. Because they had nothing to go on.

You've lasted to the end, so here's even more rear laughter, crappy jokes,
stinking funny humor and pee-tiful painful puns that'll wipe you out:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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