Q. Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of a bath tub?
A. Because they're all wet.

Q. What do you call a large, sudsy soprano in a bathtub?
A. A soap opera.

Q. Why are mice always washing up?
A. 'Cause they like everything squeaky clean.

Q. Why did it take the blonde so long to shower?
A. The bottle says: Rinse and repeat...

Bubble Head Point to Ponder: If you drop a bar of soap on your bathroom floor, does it become dirty or does the floor become clean?

Q. Where does a vampire take a bath after a sloppy night out?
A. In the bat tub.

Q. What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?
A. A bat mat.

Q. Why did the dinosaur take a shower after the meteor struck?
A. To become ex-stinked.

Q. What happened to the kid who got all muddy playing outdoors?
A. He found himself in hot water.

Q. What does Bruce Wayne stand on after taking a shower?
A. A bat mat.

Did you hear about the guy who always takes blurry pictures in the bathroom mirror after taking a hot shower? He has a high selfie steam problem.

Q. Why do women take baths to relax?
A. Because it's too hard to drink wine in the shower.

Steamy Point to Ponder: Why does your shower always get turned on whenever you undress in the bathroom?

Q. What is it called when suds get in your mouth while you're singing in the shower?
A. A soap opera.

Q. Why didn't feathered dinosaurs take baths?
A. They didn't want to be ex-stinked.

Q. What is a cannibal's preferred brand of shampoo?
A. Head and Shoulders.

Q. Which brand of shampoo is formulated for men's genitals?
A. Head and Boulders.

Q. Why do blondes always run out of shampoo so fast?
A. 'Cause the instructions say, "Rinse and repeat..."

Q. Why do geese use Head and Shoulders shampoo?
A. 'Cause what's good for the goose is good for the dander.

Q. What do you call a bunch of rock musicians in a hot tub?
A. Vegetable Soup.

Q. How many Colorado ski bums does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Ski bums don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs!

Steamy Smile of the Day: I used to be addicted to hot tubs, but I've been dry for over a year now.

Q. How are women like hot tubs?
A. Both cost a great deal to maintain, considering the amount of time you spend in them.

Q. Why do space aliens put beef in their shampoo?
A. They are used to meteor showers.

Q. What do they call a shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A. Dreadful.

Q. Which kind of soap does a dolphin use?
A. All porpoise cleaner.

Q. How did the blonde save the man who was drowning in the river?
A. She tossed him a bar of soap, and he washed up on shore.

Q. What do you call a lovey-dovey guy who is allergic to most alkaline skin-washing products?
A. A soapless romantic.

Burglary Victim: They took everything from my house, except the soap and towels in the bathrooms.
Cop: Those dirty crooks!

Q. What happened to the criminals who hijacked a truck full of bubblebath and bar soap?
A. They made a clean getaway.

Q. Which dirty crook stole all of the soap and bathroom toiletries?
A. The robber ducky.

Q. Why did the blonde boycott shampoo?
A. 'Cause she wanted real poo. DUH!

Q. Which after shampoo product does Batman use?
A. Conditioner Gordon.

Q. How is a cell phone like a dirty bathtub?
A. Both have various rings.

Q. What do you call it when somebody who's all lathered up sings a medley of arias?
A. A soap opera.

Q. What do you call a thief that steals everything except your shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant and body wash?
A. A dirty crook!

Q. Why do cats have fresh breath?
A. They use mouse wash.

Q. Why do vampires brush and floss their teeth so often?
A. So they won't have bat breath!

Q. What does singer Dion use when she stores her contact lenses?
A. Celine solution.

Q. Why did the vampire always keep his fangs so clean?
A. To prevent bat breath!

Q. What is the opposite of a dirty destination?
A. A clean getaway.

Q. What should you do if you struggle with your identity?
A. Go into the bathroom and look into the mirror, because that's the best place for self reflection.

Q. What happened when the woman noticed that her brand new bathroom mirror was cracked?
A. She was beside herself.

Q. What did the vampire turn down the salesman joh at the mirror store?
A. He just couldn't see himself doing that.

Q. Why did the blonde take the mirror inspector job at the factory?
A. 'Cause she could see herself doing that.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You sing Klingon opera when you're in the shower!

Kid In the Bathtub: Mommy, what kind of bird pooped on my head?
Mom: A stool pigeon.

Fogged Up Laugh of the Day: I thought my wife was kidding when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer by the Monkees when I'm in in the shower. But then, I saw her face in the steamed up bathroom mirror.

Q. Why were there bullet holes in the bathroom mirror?
A. Because a blonde tried to kill herself.

Q. Why did the blonde stand in front of the bathroom mirror with her eyes shut?
A. To see what she looked like asleep.

Q. Why did the guy always smash up bathrooms decorated with ceramics?
A. Because he had a wreck tile dysfunction!

Q. What happens after the lady of the house sprays orange-scented air freshener in her bathroom?
A. Then it smells like shitrus.

To the big asshole who stole my broken bathroom scale: There is no way you'll get a weigh with it!

Q. How does a blonde soprano sing the scales while she weighs herself in the bathroom?
A. Do Re Mi, Me, Me, Me, Me, Doh!

Q. How do you get the bathroom unlocked in a hurry?
A. Use a doo-key!

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