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Hello, you've reached the incontinence hotline. Can you please hold?
Children are like farts. Your own are bearable, but everyone else's are absolutely horrendous!

On a scale of one to ten, urinate!


Girl's Bathroom Jokes, Pee Puns, Seat Down Humor
Line up for #1 puns, ladies restroom humor, female fart laughs and cold toilet seat jokes.

Ladies Room Jokes and Women's Restroom Humor
('Cause Clean Bathroom Jokes and Plentiful TP Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When Urine Line for the Loo!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Urine luck jokes, flush cheek humor, and breakthrough toilet paper puns ahead.
| Ladies Room Laughs | Men's Room Humor | Toilet Jokes | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns |
| Urine Jokes, Pee Puns | Turdy Jokes, Crappy Puns | Constipation Groans | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Shower Jokes, Bath Time Puns | Potty Training Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Gas Station Humor | Smelly Jokes and Stinking Funny Puns | Animal Poop Puns |

Q. Why did the blonde take a nap on the toilet? A. Because it's in the rest room!
Q. Why don't blondes take their phone into the bathroom? A. They don't want to share their IP address!
Did you hear about the girl who fell off the toilet? She was so embarrassed, that her cheeks flushed!

A peephole was discovered in the women's restroom at the donut shop today. The police are looking into it...

Q. Why are there so few funny ladies room jokes?
A. 'Cause standing in line to pee is no laughing matter.

Q. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke in the ladies room?
A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2!

Ladies Bathroom Point to Ponder: Why does your shower always get turned on whenever you undress in the bathroom?

Q. What's it called when a madame uses a pay toilet in France?
A. Euro peein'.

Q. Why shouldn't a lady be afraid to fart while she pees?
A. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder.

Q. What happens after the lady of the house sprays orange-scented air freshener in her bathroom?
A. Then it smells like shitrus.

Q. What happened to the woman Ph.d who did a study on the minimal amount of toilet paper that can be used?
A. She had a real breakthrough.

Q. What happened when a guy asked an attractive woman to meet him in the restroom?
A. She totally blew him off.

Q. Why are men's rooms always on the left and ladies' rooms always on the right?
A. Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're really full of shit.

Q. Why do women think toilet paper jokes so funny?
A. Because they really crack you up!

Result of Painful Ladies Room Puns: Sometimes women laugh so hard that tears run down their leg...

Chimp Asks: Why did the blonde put candles on the toilet seat? A. She was decorating for a surprise birthday potty!
Q. Why don't single women fart? A. Because they don't have ass holes until they're married!
Q. What do you call a fairy using the toilet? A. Stinker Bell!

Q. Which new bathroom wipe was popular with trendy female consumers for only a few months?
A. Faddy Tissue.

Ladies Room Fact of the Day: You never appreciate what you've got until it's gone. Toilet paper is a great example...

Q. What do women call a public restroom with no toilet paper?
A. Scott Free!

Q. What does a lady call it when she has a nightmare about a national toilet paper shortage?
A. The shittiest dream ever!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because the rooster farted.

Q. What do you call a teacher who only farts in front of her students?
A. A private tooter.

Q. What do ladies call a TV soap opera episode that's dedicated to past flatulence?
A. A gassy montage.

A man accidentally farts loudly at a party. Another man growls, "How dare you fart before my wife!" The farter replies, "Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."

Q. Why is it so hard to train a female French bulldog?
A. 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house.

Q. What does a cat lady call a feline that likes to eat beans?
A. Puss 'n Toots.

Q. What does a female snake do after using the toilet?
A. Viper stuff!

Tourist in Scotland Point to Ponder: How do women know which restroom to use if the graphics on both doors are wearing skirts and/or kilts?

Wine Joke: Did you hear about the new grape variety that acts as an anti-diuretic? It's called Pinot More!
Q. How can you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose? A. If she farts, her ankles swell up!
Stinky Pun: Hey, did you fart? 'Cause you just BLEW me away!

Q. What did the convenience store clerk say to the lady customer who asked if they had a public restroom?
A. Urine Luck.

Ladies, we apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit.

Q. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home?
A. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it.

Q. What did the doctor prescribe for the woman who was all stressed out about his chronic constipation?
A. A relaxative.

Q. Why doesn't a lady ever fart on an elevator?
A. Because it's so wrong, on so many levels!

Q. Why are men's farts louder than lady farts?
A. Because men have a microphone and two speakers.

Ladies Room Point to Ponder: Why do women prefer luxury brand butt wipe, when on the hole, it's all the same in the end?

Q. What happens if a woman drinks five cups of coffee and then gets stuck in morning rush hour traffic?
A. Urine Trouble!

Q. How are dog poop and women alike?
A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. What do you call a vegan lady with diarrhea?
A. A salad shooter.

Q. What do girls call a book next to the toilet that you write your personal thoughts in?
A. A diarrhea.

Q. Ladies, what happens if your doctor diagnoses you with both anxiety and constipation?
A. You worry shitless.

Crappy Pun: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!
Chimp asks: Why to the Seattle Seahawks want to change their name to Seattle Tampons? A. Because they're only good for one period and don't have a second string! Go Broncos!
I love my toilet! We've been through a lot of sh*t together!

Q. Men, what happens when you miss the toilet bowl?
A. Urine trouble with your wife.

Are you looking for jokes about the female urinary system? Well, urine luck!

Q. What happens when you miss the toilet bowl?
A. Urine trouble with your wife.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Q. Why did Lieutenant Uhuru look so shocked?
A. Because William Shat-Near Her.

Q. What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A. You're the wind beneath my wings.

Q. What should a well-dressed woman wear to a truly scary haunted house?
A. Depends. Not a joke Wear Depends!

Eco blondes know the adage: If it's yellow, let it mellow. And, blondes know green is good, unless your toner can't correct it.

Q. How did the proctologist refer to his now ex-wife?
A. Poopsie.

Ladies rooms are more popular than ever in the 21st Century. Just look at all the women standing in line just waiting for their turn to get a seat.

Q. Why do women take baths to relax?
A. Because it's too hard to drink wine in the shower.

My wife says love is the best feeling ever. But I think finding a toilet when you're having a sudden attack of diarrhea is better.

When the plumber broke up with his girlfriend, he said, "It's over, Flo."

Fact of Life Learned in the Ladies Loo: Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably sh*t!

Q. What did the Urologist say to his sweet lady on February 14?
A. Will you pee my Valentine?

Q. What happens when kids are playing in the garden and don't tell their mom that they have to use the toilet?
A. They soil themselves

Q. What did the guy say to the blonde when he playfully slapped her butt?
A. Hi, Poopsie!

| Ladies Room Jokes | Woman Jokes | Female Anatomy Puns | Lady Bar LOLs | Wife Jokes |
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| Shower Jokes, Bath Puns | Potty Trained Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
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| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Gas Station Jokes | Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns |
| Plumber Jokes and Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Janitor Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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