Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind. It's too dirty!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. He was pissed off!
Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet? A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. Where does Batman go potty? A. In the bat room!
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!
Q. What do you get if you cross a bear and a toilet? A. Winnie the Pooh!
Q. Which companty perk do locksmiths care the least about? A. The key to the executife bathroom!
Q. What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. Flush Gordon!

 


Bathroom Humor, Toilet Bowl Jokes, Shitty Puns
Get privy to porcelain puns, stinking funny toilet jokes, loo laughs and turdy toilet bowl humor.

Toilet Jokes, Crappy Puns, Porcelain Puns
('Cause Tidy Toilet Jokes and Turdy Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream if You're Hugging the Porcelain Goddess!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Water closet humor, funky toilet jokes, and putrid potty puns ahead.
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

I love my toilet! We've been through a lot of sh*t together!Hulk Asks: What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? A. Men always miss them!Did you hear about the girl who fell off the toilet? She was so embarrassed, that her cheeks flushed!

Q. What kind of humor do toilets enjoy most often?
A. Shitty jokes.

Q. What do you call a funny toilet that does stand up comedy?
A. Commodian!

Q. What do you call it when you get in your car, and then realize you need to use the toilet?
A. A turd of events.

When the plumber broke up with his girlfriend, he said, "It's over, Flo."

Q. Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets?
A. Because they want to see their pee HD.

Went to the proctologist yesterday. Today the wife reported, "Doc called with your colonoscopy results – they found your head."

Q. What kind of jokes do toilets really eat up?
A. Crappy puns.

Q. What kind of toilet humor do butts like best?
A. Shitty jokes.

Q. What did the judge say to the flooded bathroom stall at the courthouse?
A. Toilet, you are out of order!

Q. What does a female snake do after using the toilet?
A. Viper stuff!

Did you hear about the toilet that plays ABBA songs when you flush it? What a loo!

Q. Why are turds always tired?
A. Because they're pooped out!

Chimp Asks: Why did the blonde put candles on the toilet seat? A. She was decorating for a surprise birthday potty!Man Who Stands On a Toilet is High ON Pot!A man who digs for his watch in a toilet is bound to have sh*tty timing!

Q. What slogan did the PR firm come up with to promote the new high tech toilet?
A. Seat Yourself.

Eco blondes know the toilet adage: if it's yellow, let it mellow.

Blondes know green is good, unless your toner can't correct it.

Ya know, yellow is such an optomistic color, especially in the bathroom.

Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg...

Anybody who stands on a toilet in Denver is already a mile high.

Q. Why do toilet seats detest unisex bathrooms?
A. Because of all the ups and downs.

Tourist in Scotland Point to Ponder: How do you know which toilet to use if the graphics on both doors are wearing skirts and/or kilts?

Plumbers dig this joke, sooner or later.

Q. Why is it so easy for plumbers in Holland to remove toilet clogs?
A. They just kick back and remove their shoes.

Q. Why do cherry trees stink?
A. Because George Washington cut one!

Bounders who dig in toilets really should find better things to do with their time!

Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!Q. Why did the blonde take a nap on the toilet? A. Because it's in the rest room!Q. What is a toilet's favorite sport? A. Bowling!

Q. Which part of a toilet trilogy is always a real stinker?
A. Da Turd Part!

Q. What happens if the power goes off while you're in the toilet?
A. You can't see shit.

Q. What do both your toilet and butt call it when a giant turd is on the way?
A. A groaner.

Q. What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?
A. Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Q. Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted houses six inches higher than normal?
A. Because they want to keep visitors on their toes.

Here I sit to take a sh*t, I pushed a load but nothing showed. Then I realized something was amiss, because I came in here to piss.

Q. Why shouldn't you let a Dutch cobbler use your bathroom?
A. So he doesn't clog your toilet.

Q. What kind of jokes do bidets like best?
A. Crappy humor.

Q. What does a toilet and a street fight have in common?
A. Shit goes down.

Q. Why should you never mess with a janitor who is cleaning a clogged bathroom?
A. Because when they're plunging a toilet, shit goes down.

Q. What is the one thing you'll never see your plumber do?
A. Bite his nails!

Q. What's it called when a skeleton poops in your toilet and doesn't flush?
A. A spooky dookie.

Q. Where do football players go before a big game? A. To the toilet bowl!Q. Why did the superhero flush the toilet? A. It was his doody!Q. What do you call a fairy using the toilet? A. Stinker Bell!

Coach has a recurring nightmare that the team won't be able to pull their head out of their ass for the big game. The sh*ttiest dream ever... Go Denver?

Q. Where does hot sh*t stay in downtown Denver?
A. The Brown Palace Hotel.

Q. Which event do gamey toilets bet on every year?
A. The Pooper Bowl.

Toilet Pick-Up Line: Hey, my name is Charmin and you must be hot shit? 'Cause I want you all over me.

Q. What does a religious man say to the toilet before he flushes?
A. Holy Shit.

Another Wise Yoda Quote: Do or not do. There is no try at toilet.

Q. What do you call a book next to the toilet that you write your personal thoughts in?
A. A diarrhea.

Q. What did the poop say to the fart?
A. Wow, you just blew me away!

Q. What kind of car does a proctologist drive?
A. A brown Probe!

Seriously? Fairies need a toilet? Can't they just dust their sh*t down on any unsuspecting soul?

Q. Who does a toilet call when it has plumbing problems ?
A. A Plunger.

Q. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say?
A. Piss Off.

When you're up hootin' with the owls and you need to move your bowels, is the moment magical? I stink not!

Q. Why was Tigger in the toilet? A. He was looking for Pooh!Q. What would you expect to find in Superman's bathroom? A. The Superbowl!Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. The Captain's Log!

Restroom Point to Ponder: You really to have to hand it to toilets because they really take a lot of shit.

The new boss has designated toilet break times for all the employess. Now it's my turn. I don't need this shit!

Q. Why does Piglet smell so bad?
A. Because he likes to play with Pooh!

Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind, it's too dirty.

Q. What do a toilet and a library have in common?
A. Both are places assholes go to be loud and obnoxious.

Q. Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted houses six inches higher than normal?
A. Because they want to keep visitors on their toes.

Q. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the toilet?
A. Because they're extinct.

Q. What did the priest say before he flushed the toilet?
A. Holy Crap!

Q. What do you call a round of musical chairs played on toilets?
A. Game of Thrones.

Q. What do you call a 12-inch turd?
A. A foot stool!

Q. Why couldn't the cops catch the toilet bandit?
A. Because they had nothing to go on.

| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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