Q. Where do football players go before a big game? A. To the toilet bowl!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!
Q. What do you call a bathroom superhero? A. Flush Gordon!
Q. Why did Captain Kirk visit the Romulan loo? A. To boldly go where no man has gone before!
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget!

Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!

 


Urinal Jokes, Manly Restroom Puns, Seat Up Humor
Flush along with guy's toilet puns, gentlemen's loo LOLs, and stinking funny man's bathroom jokes.

Men's Room Jokes, Crapper Puns, Wash Room LOLs
(Because #1 Urinal Jokes and Moving #2 Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When Urine a Hurry to Hit the Bowl!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Constipated man groans, pee jokes, shit house humor, butt no toilet paper puns ahead.
| Men's Room Jokes | Ladies Room Humor | Toilet Jokes | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Roll Puns |
| Urine Jokes, Pee Puns | Turdy Jokes, Crappy Puns | Constipation Groans | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Shower Jokes, Bath Time Puns | Potty Training Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Gas Station Humor | Smelly Jokes and Stinking Funny Puns | Animal Poop Puns |

Hulk Asks: What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? A. Men always miss them!
 
Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player? He wanted to buy a bowel!
 
Q. How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A. Who Knows? It's never been done!

Q. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home?
A. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it.

Q. Why are men's rooms always on the left and ladies' rooms always on the right?
A. Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're really full of shit.

Q. What do you call a guy who talks to others while using a public restroom?
A. A urinarrator.

Q. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common?
A. I pee, eh.

Q. Nen, what happens when you miss the toilet bowl?
A. Urine trouble with your wife.

Q. Why was a guy happy about having diarrhea, hemorrhoids, and eczema last week?
A. Because it was the first time he'd ever won a game of Scrabble!

Q. Why did the contestant miss the word constipation at the spelling bee?
A. Because that shit was harder than he'd thought.

Q. What happened when the guy registered at a website for constipation sufferers?
A. It wouldn't let him log out!

Q. What kinds of dogs did the superstitious guy get to prevent future constipation?
A. A Shih Tzu and a Poodle.

Q. What did the grumpy old man do about his constipation?
A. Nothing. He just stopped giving a shit.

A guy bought a toilet brush because he saw one in every other bathroom. But, after giving it a whirl, he decided to go back to using toilet paper.

Q. How many men does it take to replace an empty roll of toilet paper?
A. Nobody knows because it's never been done!

Did you hear about the guy who sat down to take take a dump and realized there was no toilet paper? It scared the shit out of him, so he didn't really have to wipe in the end.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.

Went to the proctologist yesterday. Today the wife reported, "Doc called with your colonoscopy results they found your head."

Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A. A Private Tutor!
 
Man Who Stands On a Toilet is High ON Pot!
 
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!

Q. Why are men's farts louder than lady farts?
A. Because men have a microphone and two speakers.

Q. What is the most nerve-wracking moment in the life of a guy?
A. Attempting your first silent fart after a bout of diarrhea.

Did you hear about the guy who was suffering from diarrhea for the past few days? He's finally making some solid progress now.

Q. What do you call it when a drunk guy passes out on the toilet?
A. Pooper Stuper.

Q. What should you say to a guy who is anxious about having diarrhea?
A. Dude, don't lose your shit!

Q. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. OUCH!

Did you hear about the guy who always takes blurry pictures in the bathroom mirror after taking a hot shower? He has a high selfie steam problem.

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal?
A. Because that's where all the cocks hang out.

Q. Why did the guy always smash up bathrooms decorated with ceramics?
A. Because he had a wreck tile dysfunction!

Q. Why is sperm white and urine yellow?
A. So that men can tell if they're coming or going!

Q. Why did the guy have to take a urine test today?
A. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand...

Q. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals?
A. Because that's beneath them.

Q. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?
A. Wet.

A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii."

Q. How are urinals made functional?
A. They get installed.

Q. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say?
A. Piss Off.

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement!
 
I quit my gym becuase one of the instructors shouted at me, "come on man, you've got to want it" Come on push. Youcan do it." I hate being disturbed whn I'm taking a dump!
 
A man who digs for his watch in a toilet is bound to have sh*tty timing!

Q. What kind of car did the superstitious man get to prevent constipation?
A. A BMW.

Q. Why should you never trust a man who is constipated?
A. Because they really are full of shit.

Q. What does a superstitious man say to prevent constipation when he sees a stray cat?
A. Skat!

Q. What does a guy call it when he's diagnosed with paranoia and constipation?
A. Scared Shitless!

Q. Why did the apathetic old man hope he'd finally die of constipation?
A. So that people would know he didn't give a shit, all the way to the bitter end.

Q. Why did the guy name his toilet Jim?
A. So that he could tell everybody that he goes to the Jim everyday.

Q. What happened to the guy who had a toilet paper display collapse on him at the store?
A. He suffered from soft tissue damage.

Q. What did the constipated guy say to the stubborn stool?
A. You may think you're the shit, but to me you're just a turd waiting to be flushed.

Q. What do you call an inlisted guy in the army who only farts in the barracks?
A. A private tooter.

A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket...

Q. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?
A. Because he was dribbling.

Q. What does a baker call it when he's quietly stealing away in the restroom for a moment?
A. Pinching a loaf.

Q. Why did the little boy throw a pencil in the toilet?
A. Because it was a No. 2.

Q. How does a swimmer piece of shit greet the rest of the guys in the pool?
A. What's crappening, turds!

Q. Why was the guy alarmed after using the toilet and taking a really huge dump?
A. Because he feared he lost one turd of his weight.

Q. How are men like laxatives? A. Both can irritate the sh*t out of you!
 
Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet? A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
 
Crappy Gnome Humor: My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in!

Q. What happened to the guy who did a study on the minimal amount of toilet paper that can be used?
A. He had a real breakthrough.

Q. What did the shrink say to the guy who was compelled to use far too much toilet paper?
A. You are just being anal.

Q. Why should you always tip the bathroom attendant?
A. Because he's one guy who has certainly seen some sh*t.

Q. How does a computer programmer deal with constipation?
A. He just downloads a log.

Q. Why wasn't the guy looking for the best constipation medicine?
A. Because he knew #2 would do.

Q. What did one turd ask his hot date?
A. Is that love in the air?

Did you hear about the guy at Burger King who took a dump in the restroom? Naturally, it was a Whopper.

Q. How does an Aussie toilet greet you?
A. Bidet, Mate!

Q. What do you call two guys using the same urinal?
A. Peers.

Q. Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist?
A. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem.

Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull.

Q. Why did they stop manufacturing the extra strength Chuck Norris brand toilet paper?
A. Because it didn't take any shit from anybody!

Q. What would you find in Superman's bathroom?
A. The Super Bowl!

Q. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist?
A. Nothing, if you're a dickhead.

Q. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center?
A. Coming and Going.

Q. How does a guy describe running out of toilet paper when you have diarrhea?
A. A very bad shit-uation!

Q. How did one guy get over his chronic diarrhea?
A. He made some positive lifestyle changes and really got his shit together.

Q. What is the definition of bravery and guts?
A. A guy with diarrhea chancing a fart.

Q. What did the guy with diarrhea say to the guy with constipation?
A. I shit, you not!

Did you hear about the guy with diarrhea? The doctor gave him pills and told him to take one after each episode. Unfortunately, all the episodes were reruns...

Q. What happened when the guy called in sick to work because he had diarrhea?
A. His boss told him to get his shit together.

Did you hear about the guy who claims he gets diarrhea every time he goes to Taco Bell? Moron! Why doesn't he just order tacos instead?

| Men's Room Jokes | Man Jokes | Male Anatomy Puns | Manly Bar LOLs | Caveman Jokes |
| Ladies Room Humor | Butt Jokes | Underwear Laughs | Yellow Jokes | Brown Humor |
| Shower Jokes, Bath Puns | Potty Trained Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Gas Station Jokes | Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns |
| Plumber Jokes and Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Janitor Jokes |

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

PainfulPuns Home
You're having a gas, so here's another run of laughter, stinking funny jokes,
wee bits of humor and upstanding painful puns that aren't crappy in the end:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Ass Jokes | Beer Puns | Big Ape Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Composer Jokes | Cowboy Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Gym Jokes | Incredible Hulk Jokes | Marriage Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic Jokes | P U Puns |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Star Trek Jokes | Stoner Laughs | Timely Humor | Wife Jokes |

Bartender Puns, Bar HumorPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Monstrously Funny PunsSick Puns, Healthy Laughs Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.