Man Who Stands On a Toilet is High ON Pot!   PainfulPuns.com - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Chimp Asks: How many animals can you fit on a toilet? A. One pussy and 1000 hares!
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!
Q. Why don't they have toilet paper at KFC? A. It's finger-licking good!
Gorilla Says: Life starts out with everyone cheering when you poop, and drastically goes down hill from there!

 


Bathroom Humor, Potty Jokes, Toilet Puns
Flush out crappy restroom laughs, poopy potty puns, bathroom humor and crappy toilet jokes.

Toilet Humor, Crappy Puns, Bathroom Jokes
(Because Clean Restroom Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream and Potty Puns May Make You Plunge for Relief!)
Warning: Proceed with Due Caution! Turdy jokes, restroom humor, duty-ful laughter and shitty toilet puns ahead.
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns and Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Humor | Toilet Paper Jokes | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor | Potty Training Jokes |
| Turd Jokes, Crap Puns | Constipated Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Outhouse Jokes, Porta Potty Puns |
| Men's Room Jokes | Ladies Room LOLs | Bath Time LOLs | Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo LOLs | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Q. Why don't blondes take their phone into the bathroom? A. They don't want to share their IP address!Hulk Asks: What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? A. Men always miss them!Hello, you've reached the incontinence hotline. Can you please hold?

Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? He can charm the pants off just about anyone!

Q. What do you call it when you can't open the door to the bathroom?
A. Pooper stupid.

Q. What kinds of dogs did the superstitious guy get to prevent future constipation?
A. A Shih Tzu and a Poodle.

Q. Why is animal poop sexy?
A. Because the birds and bees doo it.

Went to the proctologist yesterday. Today the wife reported, "Doc called with your colonoscopy results – they found your head."

Q. How does an Aussie toilet greet you?
A. Bidet, Mate!

Q. How did pirates describe ocean conditions after the whole crew took a dump?
A. Poop-sea.

Q. How can you tell if your aquarium has extra bubbles because your clown fish just farted?
A. It smells funny.

Looking for #1 jokes about the urinary system? Well, urine luck!

Q. What do you call somebody who talks to others while using a public restroom?
A. A urinarrator.

We sincerely apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit.

Q. What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes?
A. Peanut.

Q. What do you get if you poop in your jeans? A. Dungarees!Potty Humor: Urologists Know How to Go with the Flow! Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind. It's too dirty!

Q. What happened to the guy who had a toilet paper display collapse on him at the store?
A. He suffered from soft tissue damage.

Restroom Point to Ponder: You really to have to hand it to toilets because they really take a lot of shit.

Q. What do you call a magical poop that appears out of nowhere?
A. PooDini!

Q. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home?
A. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it.

Q. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?
A. Wet.

Q. What do you call a country where everyone is pissed?
A. Urination.

Q. What do you call an experimental high tech toilet made out of iron, carbon, and aluminum?
A. A FeCAl Matter.

Q. How do you know the pills you took for constipation are not working?
A. Because they didn't do shit!

There's one more great sewage joke, but we're going to leave it out because the punch line really stinks.

Q. Why do horses fart when they buck? A. Because they can't acheive full horse power without gas!Q. What happens if you fall into the toilet? A. You either sink or swim!I quit my gym becuase one of the instructors shouted at me, "come on man, you've got to want it" Come on push. Youcan do it." I hate being disturbed whn I'm taking a dump!

Q. What does a paleontologist call an epic dinosaur fart?
A. A blast from the past.

Q. How do you know if a fart was really bad?
A. The EPA cited it for an air polution violation.

Stinking Funny Thought of the Day: Why do I fart? Because it's the only gas I can afford!

Q. What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A. Flush. OUCH!

Q. Why did the little boy throw a pencil in the toilet?
A. Because it was a No. 2.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever play poker with a plumber?
A. Because a good flush beats a full house every time!

Q. What did one kidney say to another at the gym?
A. You're in for a workout.

Q. How are a plumber and a bodybuilder alike?
A. They both like pumping iron.

Q. Why is constipation such a big problem?
A. Because if you ignore that shit, it becomes a real pain in the ass.

Q. Why did Captain Kirk visit the Romulan loo? A. To boldly go where no man has gone before!Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? A. You look flushed!Hulk Says: Yuck, I just stepped in a big pile of Monday!

And, off to the Klingon Loo To Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!

Q. Why did Lieutenant Uhuru look so shocked?
A. Because William Shat-Near Her.

Q. How does a computer programmer deal with constipation?
A. He just downloads a log.

Plumbers are the only folks who can feel good about being sh*tty!

Q. What kind of jokes do bidets like best?
A. Crappy humor.

Q. What is an apt name for an Irish Proctologist?
A. Colin O'Scopy.

Kiss Ass Thought of the Week: Hope you have a Super Monday, even if your week looks like it'll be crappy.

Q. Why don't you ever fart in church?
A. Because you need to sit in your pew!

Q. After eating chili, how do you know it's really cold outside?
A. You just farted a trail of snowflakes.

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, and #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Shower Jokes, Bath Puns | Potty Trained Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Men's Room Jokes | Ladies Room Humor | Butt Jokes | Underwear Laughs | Yellow Jokes |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Gas Station Jokes | Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns |
| Plumber Jokes and Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Janitor Jokes |

| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |

PainfulPuns Home
You're still going with the flow, so here's even more bathroom humor,
crappy jokes, and duty-ful painful puns that'll surly flush out some laughter:

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