A lot of money is tainted. Tain yours and it taint mine!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Big Ape Asks: Why did the idiot go broke? A. He had no cents!
Q. What do cloves use for money? A. Garlic bread!
Gorilla Chef Asks: Why did the poor man sell yeast? A. To raise some dough!


Priceless Banking Humor, Funny Money Puns
Profit from bucking funny money jokes, rich laughter, safe humor and cents-less puns.

Money Jokes, Bank Humor, Priceless Puns
(Because Rich Humor and Money Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream if You're Standing in Line at the Bank)
Warning: Invest with Caution! Interesting banker jokes, funny money humor, and cashed out puns ahead.
| Priceless Money Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Pricey Banking Jokes | 2 | Banker Pick-Up Lines | Coin Humor: Quarterly Report |

Q. What did one penny say to another? A. Money jokes are priceless!If time is money, are ATMs time machines?Gorilla Says: Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back!

Non-Cents Point to Ponder: How many pennies are in one pun?

Cheap Point to Ponder: Do bad pennies end up in a penitentiary?

Q. Why should you visit the US Mint in Denver?
A. It just makes cents.

Funny Money Question: Would it be too much to ask for these painful puns to be good for a change?

Q. Does money talk?
A. Yes, it says, "Buy, Bye."

Not Funny Finance Fact: Being poor is no fund at all!

Q. Which kind of dog always has money?
A. The Bloodhound, because he's always picking up scents.

Funny Money Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that only one company makes the game, Monopoly?

Banking Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, are you a bank loan? 'Cause you've got my interest!

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!If money is the root of all evil, why do they ask for it at church?Q. When does it rain money? A. When there's a change in teh weather!

Q. Why did the man keep throwing Monopoly Money at the stripper?
A. Because she kept putting fake boobies in his face!

Q. How are men like bank accounts?
A. One day they're up, one day they're down, but most of the time they show no interest.

Accountant Pick-Up Line: Babe, you can list me as a deduction, because I am dependent on your lovin'.

Q. What's the difference between Congress and the US Mint?
A. Only one of them makes cents.

Big Banking Tip: Never be funny when speaking to your loan officer because bankers have no cents of humor.

Banking Point to Ponder: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks need branches?

Q. Why do wallets make so much noise?
A. Because money talks.

Q. Where is the best place to store your rain?
A. In a cloud bank.

Mad Money Fact: If you like money, and I like money, we are agreed!

Banker Pick-Up Line: Let's get out of here and apprediate each other's assets.

Fish Asks: Did you hear about the banking tycoom who fell off his yacht? He was saved because he could float a loan!Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A. because the quarter had more cents!Gorilla Asks: Why are hermits always penniless? A. Because they're loaners!

Q. Why did the blonde throw money into the river?
A. She wanted to better understand cash flow.

Q. What does an octopus use for spending money?
A. Sand dollars!

Biz Pick-Up Line: I'm done being a sole proprietor, so let's form a partnership.

Q. Why can't you borrow money from your chihuahua?
A. Because, arf arf arf, they're always a little short.

Q. Which employees go on strike when they want to make less money?
A. Mint workers.

Banking Pick-Up Line: Babe, are you a one-sided balance sheet with all assets and no liabilities?

Q. What kind of money do you use in an insane asylum?
A. Weirdo.

Q. Which US President is the least guilty?
A. Lincoln. He is in a cent!

Accountant Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, looking in your books, I see you have room for a date-a entry.

Silly bar joke: Q. Why did the bartender put money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!Change is inevitable... Except from a vending machine!Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A. They're always a little short!

Q. What do you call a gossipy bank employee?
A. A storyteller.

Q. Why is money also called dough?
A. Because we all knead it!

CPA Pick-Up Line: What are you doing on Saturday night? 'Cause I'm accounting to take you out.

Q. What happened to the toddler who swallowed the coins?
A. The ER reports there's no change yet...

Q. Which mint always measures up?
A. The Measuremint.

Banker Pick-Up Line: I have an emergency fund, and I want to rescue you tonight!

Q. Why did the Denver Mint hire a bloodhound?
A. That just made scents.

Did you hear about the bankrupt banker? Poor guy was generous to a vault.

Banking Pick-Up Line: If I had a dollar for every time I've thought of you, I'd be in a higher tax bracket.

| Priceless Money Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Pricey Banking Jokes | 2 | Banker Pick-Up Lines | Coin Humor: Quarterly Report |

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