What is a doughnut?
A. Somebody who is absolutely crazy about money.
Why is money also called dough?
A. Because we all knead it!
How is time is like money?
A. The less we have of it to spare, the further we have
to make it go.
Why does Mr. Data cost Starfleet so much money?
A. Because Data is enterprise hardware.
Banking Tip of the Day: When you're switching to a new bank,
bring money with you and make sure you take that into account.
Money Joke of the Day: If you have unprotected sex with
a banker, watch out! You might end up getting financial
Why did the blonde get cash out of the bank and then throw
the money into the river?
A. 'Cause she wanted to study cash flow. DUH!
Why did Albert Einstein's memos sell for $1.8 million?
A. Because they were noteworthy.
If you have $10 in your pocket and you lose half or your
money, what do you have in your pocket?
A. A hole.
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
can I buy you a drink? Or, do you just want the money?
Groan of the Day: Ben Franklin knew only death and taxes
were inevitable. But now, there's shipping and handling,
Why did a first-grader eat two dollar bills?
A. His mother told him it was lunch money.
investment banker used all of a guy's money to buy a leather
jacket and a motorcycle. When the guy asked for it back,
the banker told him to sit on it. Sounds like he's
running a Fonzi scheme!
bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller
saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or
you're History'?" The bank robber replied,
"Don't change the subject."
Where does Santa Claus keep his money?
A. At the Snow Bank.
guy's wife thought he needed money, so she transferred some
to him. Yeah, she just put her two cents in, again,
Why did the Denver Mint hire a bloodhound to track down
the lost money?
A. That just made scents.
What did the landscape guy say when he got paid in cash
A. Thank you very mulch!
Woe of the Day: The seminar, How to Avoid Fraud,
has been canceled. Tickets are non-refundable.
Who wrote the book, Never No Money Left?
A. M. T. Wallette.
Loss Groan of the Day: A naked woman robbed a bank during
a power outage. So, nobody at the bank could remember her
Money Tip of the Day: Never play poker with a banker because
they always have the best suits.
a Banker Line: Hey big guy, I heard bankers do it for the
Why did the frugal banker count his money with his toes?
A. So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
Why does it cost big bucks to get a new rocket off the ground?
A. Because there is no free launch.