Q.
What do you call a rep at a predatory refi company?
A. A loan wolf.
Financial
Point to Ponder: Bankers might have their own interest at
heart when discussing alone with you.
Q.
Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the bank
vault?
A. For safe sex.
Q.
What does a savings account have in common with sex?
A. You lose interest once you make a withdrawal.
Sickening
Money Joke of the Day: If you have unprotected sex with
a banker, watch out! You might end up getting financial
AIDS.
Q.
Why is the banker learning chemistry?
A. He's got a lot of compound interest.
Q.
What happened when her father handed the family business
over to his daughter?
A. She succeeded.
Q.
What do you call will sections covering family members?
A. Relative clauses.
Q.
Which treat, that's stuffed with dough, are bankers very
fond of?
A. ATM machine.
Old
credit cards never die, they just expire. |
Q.
What happens when accountants are left a loan?
A. They become very debticated.
Q.
What do you call accountants at a coffee company?
A. They're known as a bean counters.
Q.
Why don't old accountants ever die?
A. Because they're so well-balanced.
Banking
Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl,
are you an accountant? 'Cause I'd like you on my payroll.
Q.
How did the old accountant die?
A. He closed the books.
Big
Biz Blunders: When the CEO dropped his brownie on the calculator,
was he trying to fudge the numbers?
Q.
How are hula hoop sales reported?
A. In round numbers.
Q.
What do you get when you put the money you've earned
and IRS together?
A. THEIRS!
A
doctor walked into a bank full of anti-vaxxers. With a syringe
in hand, he says, "Gimme all the money and nobody gets
shot!"
Q.
Which kind of debts might only be settled by some divine
intervention??
A. Accounts prayable.
|
Q.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to try to remember
the combination.
Q.
Why was John Keats always hounded by creditors?
A. Because he Ode so much.
Q.
What do you call a compliment to a charity organizer?
A. A solid foundation.
Q.
Who always wins at zombie auctions?
A. The highest biter!
Banking
Point to Ponder: Why is it that all you can buy for a dollar
these days is nonsense?
Banking
Pick-Up Line: If I
had a dollar for every time I've thought about you, I'd
be able to retire in style.
Q.
What do consumers call new taxes being put on some imports
and exports?
A. Tariffying!
Q.
Where do people who don't trust banks keep their money?
A. In their secret cash cache.
Old
accounts never die, they're just deleted.
Q.
Why should you think twice about opening an account at the
Bank of the North Pole?
A. Accounts are often frozen there. |