How can you tell you've hired a great tax accountant?
A. There's a loophole named after him.
After tax season, I just can't think straight.
Shrink: I see. That sounds like H&R Block.
Where does a homeless accountant live?
A. In a tax shelter.
Tip of the Day: A fine is a tax for doing wrong, and a tax
is a fine for doing well.
Why does the IRS call it a 1040 form?
Tax Accountant: For every $50 you earn, the government gets
Accountant Pick-Up Line:
Hey baby, I bet you didn't know having sex with me is considered
a charitable deducton?
Form Chat Up Line:
Hey baby, nice assets!
Accountant Come-On Line:
Babe, you can list me as a deduction, 'cause I am dependant
on your lovin'.
Why do accountants dislike pre-tax income?
A. 'Cause it's gross.
How did the tax accountant escape from prison?
A. He was really good at filing.
Favt of the Day: Death and taxes are inevitable. At least
death only happens once...
Hookup Line: Are you
a 1040EZ? 'Cause I'd like to fill you in.
Come-On Line: Baby,
it's too taxing for me not to love you.
Pick Up Line: Let's
fill out that 1040. Your'e a 10, and I'm 40.
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
I'll help you screw Uncle Sam right after we do a test spin..
Pick-Up Line: Whoa
baby, you're making my pants feel the need to file for an
What happens when accountants are left a loan?
A. They become very debt-icated.
Why was the cannibal accountant arrested?
A. For buttering up the clients.
How can you tell your CPA is a cannibal?
A. He charges an arm and a leg...
Why should you think twice about dating an accountant?
A. 'Cause they're really into double entries.
Pick-Up Line:Hey baby,
did you know accountants always do it by the book.
Chat Up Line: Hey fella,
you should have taken me as a deduction because I am dependent
on your love.
Why did the accounting firm fire the bookkeeper?
A. 'Cause he lost his balance.
bookkeepers never die, but they do lose their figures.