What do you say when asked about the sister who is the CEO
of your enterprise?
A. Nun of your business.
What happened after the generous executive woman signed
over her property to become a park?
A. She was thanked for her good deed.
How good are you at spreadsheets?
New Employee: I Excel at it.
What did the computer prgrammer want from his boss?
Off Laugh of the Day: The boss is threatening to fire the
employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch
it might be me...
What did the insurance company tell the business owner who
wanted a policy in case of a volcanic eruption?
A. I ash-ure you'll be covered.
What is it called when your boss watches you from miles
Why did the guy get the boot from the shoe factory?
A. The boss claimed he just didn't fit in and that he was
What do you call a stickler boss who doesn't allow beards
or mustaches in the workplace?
A. A shave driver.
Why was the vampire removed from his position as company
A. Because he could not appeal to the stakeholders.
Politics Pointer of the Day: Never shorten your boss's name
to "Dick, especially if his name's not "Richard."
Why was the guy fired from his job at the gourmet coffee
A. The boss said he had no filter.
What does the boss call his employees who field calls from
highly edgy people?
A. Customer nervous representatives.
How many administrative assistants does it take to change
a light bulb?
A. None. I can't do anything unless you complete a light
buld design change request.
Which retro office workers knew shorthand and were strict
Why did the boss tell the headhunter to hire a chicken?
A. Because she'd accept a poultry salary.
What is it called when your body is exhausted and sore at
work all the time?
A. Aching out a living.
What did the boss at the trash collecting company say to
fire the garbageman?
A. You're canned.
What did company execs do after they found that their billboards
were so successful?
A. They decided to ad a new one.
Why did the boss bail out of the hot air balloon business?
A. Because it never really took off.
Why did the judge stop the business merger between Morton's
A. 'Cause he could not allow a salt and battery
in his courtroom.
Why did the boss hire a scarecrow for that great new job
A. Because he was truly outstanding in the field.
When is it bad business to be reaching higher?
A. When you're a bank teller in a hold-up!
boss at the pub approached the bartender and asked if he'd
been sleeping with the waitress. The bartender said, "No."
Boss replied, "Good. Then you go fire her."
Why couldn't the headhunter find a job for the boss's musician
A. He wasn't noteworthy.
Why did you leave your last job?
Job Candidate: The company relocated and didn't tell me
Do old bosses ever die?
A. No, no matter how much you wish they would.