Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary? SMILES, because there's a mile between each S!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Cleverly worded puns, smart humor, and funny writer jokes do spell laughter!

Literary Jokes, Author Humor, Writing Puns
(Because Literally Speaking, Well-Written Jokes and Crafty Puns Are NOT Mainstream Enough)
Warning: Read on at your own risk. This is a smart-ass LOL accelerated course.
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Did you hear about the new national book club? They have local chapters!Groaner: A Book Just Fell On My Head. I've Only Got My Shelf To Blame.Q. Which word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary? A. Wrong!

Q. What is the world's tallest building?
A. The library – because it has the most stories!

A Book Never Written:
French Cooking by Sue Flay

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests.

A Book Never Written:
Equally Adept by Amber Dex Truss

Q. Which vegetables do librarians like?
A. Quiet Peas!

A Book Never Written:
School Sports by Jim Nasium

Did you return your books late? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you!Q. What did the winning authors get when they won at tug-o-war? A. A Pull-it-zer prize!Have you read the book, Damn It Jim? It's by Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer.

Smart Pick Up Line: Literate gnome puns still aren't too smart, but funny! Ouch!

A Book Never Written:
Stone Age by Neil Ithic

Q. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A. Book Worms!

A Book Never Written:
Forthright by Frank O. Pinion

A book never written:
The Best Subject in School
by Jim Class

A Book Never Written:
Dog's Dinner by Norah Bones

Have you read the book, Chekov: The Navigator? It's byy: I. KiptinQ. What is a Thesaurus' Favorite Dessert? A. Synonym BunsQ. What did the author say when the novel was finally finished? A. "It's a long story."

Q. Which letter of the alphabet has a lot of water?
A. The C

A Book Never Written:
Fading Away by Peter N. Outt

Roll right over that pun. Breader not miss the next joke.

A Book Never Written:
Waiting for Dinner by Sal O. Vading

A Book Never Written:
My Worst Journey by Helen Bach

A Book Never Written:
Magnificiant by Wanda F. Uhl

If a poet ascends in an elevator, can you say the bard has been raised?Best seller about trolls, by Ungnome AuthorQ. What do planets like to read? A. Comet Books!

"Don't you know the Queen's English?" "Why yes, I've heard she is!"

A Book Never Written:
Lumberjack by Tim Burr

Too bad it wasn't written by the UnGnome Comic. That would have been funnier.

A Book Never Written:
Common Cold by Ronny Knoes

A Book Never Written:
Voyeurism by A. P. Pingtom

A Book Never Written:
Cloudburst by Wayne Droppz

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