Q. How many cover blurb writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A vast and teeming horde stretching from sea to shining sea!

Q. What has a spine, but no bones?
A. A book, although some authors disagree.

Q. What do you call a book about Henry Ford and his car company?
A. An auto biography.

Q. Who authored the unsuccessful tech guide, Digitals Don'ts for Dumbasses?
A. Anne A. Logg.

Q. What did ancient alchemists call the Norse god who starting writing epic tales after being struck by lightning?
A. AU Thor.

Wordsmith Tip of The Day: If you leave alphabet soup heating on the stove and forget, it could spell disaster!

Q. Why did the dedicated librarian join the police force?
A. 'Cause he wanted to work under cover.

Q. How do you get into the book store located in the basement?
A. Through the best cellar door.

Q. Which old series of children's books is now known to be fake copies?
A. Spurious George.

Q. Who wrote the captivating new romance thriller, My Last Big Crush?
A. Anna Khan Duh.

Q. Where did the lawyer set a precident defending his author client's rights?
A. In the Book Case.

Q. What is the difference between publishers and terrorists?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q. Which author wrote the gory new best seller, Bullfighting Red Flags?
A. Matt O'Dor.

Q. Which grotesque literary character looked a bit like an extinct bird?
A. Quasi-Dodo.

Q. What is it called when you're told to write things down twice so that you'll remember them later?
A. Dually noted.

Q. Why do hep cats avoid the book, Raising Dogs at the library?
A. 'Cause it's a pup-up book!

Why Punctuation Matters: Is it "A woman, without her man, is nothing" or
"A woman: without her, man is nothing"?

Q. What is it called when you start to write a poem, but start to itch and sneeze?
A. An elegy attack.

Q. Which porn star wrote the hot best seller, Blushing Becomes You?
A. Rose E. Cheeks.

Q. Why was the fiction author so successful?
A. Because she had novel ideas.

Q. Remove my first letter and I sound the same. Remove my last letter and I sound the same. Remove my middle letter and I still sound the same. What am I?
A. Empty!

Writing Fact of the Day: A pencil is not prone to making Freudian slips, but a pen is.

Q. What happened when the guy started reading a book about designing corn mazes?
A. He got lost in it.

Q. What do you say when you're comforting the grammer police?
A. Their, They're, There...

Author Point to Ponder: If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words?

Q. Which caveman wrote the Gecko manual for new agents dubbed, Insurance Needs Me?
A. Just N. Case.

Q. What is the title of the newly published trash collector's memoir?
A. Dump and Dumper.

Happy Hour for Authors: The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Q. What is a simile?
A. It's like a metaphor.

Q. Who wrote the blob-ular best seller,
Big Bacteria Bug Boston?
A. Hugh Mike Robes.

Did you hear about the kid who accidentally stabbed the librarian in the face with a pencil? He thought he was in big trouble, but she merely turned a blind eye.

Cheesy Writing Point to Ponder: If you put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener, would it come out sharp or shredded?

Q. What do news editors call a confident opinion piece?
A. Definitive article.

Q. Which letter of the alphabet is always patiently waiting in order?
A. The Q.

Q. Which accountant wrote the new mystery best seller, Suspense Makes Cents?
A. Cliff Hang Ehr.

Q. Which word in the dictionary is a lot longer than it looks?
A. Rubberband – because it stretches!

Q. How did the old grammarian die?
A. By falling into a comma.

Q. Which hipster author wrote the book,
Conducting Yourself on the Subway?
A. Myles S. Tanding.

Q. Who wrote the diet book, Artificial Weightlessness, before Oprah Winfrey could capitalize on the title?
A. Ann D. Gravity.

Trolls are poets and they gno it.

Q. What do you call a poet who was know for her footwork?
A. Iamb Woman.

Q. What did the captive reader think about the new book about the Stockholm Syndrome?
A. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end, he loved it.

Q. What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
A. Poetry in Potion.

Q. Which author is not famous for writing his novel, Horrendous Hack?
A. Terr E. Buhl.

Q. Why didn't the guy finish reading the book about sinkholes?
A. 'Cause his plans fell through.

Q. What do you call a religious book of devotions that levitates like magic?
A. A surface-to-air missal.

Q. What happened when the vampire turned into a poet?
A. He went from bat to verse.

Literary Point to Ponder: If a picture is worth a thousand words, why shouldn't you judge a book by its cover?

Q. Who wrote the scary tell-all, Haunted House Guests, about orgies at the Playboy mansion?
A. Hugh Gogh Furst.

Literary Thought in the Air: A chemist was reading a book about helium. He just couldn't put it down.

Q. What happens when you read Stephen Hawking's last book about black holes?
A. You totally get drawn in.

Q. What happens when you read a physics book about a singularity?
A. It really sucks you in...

High Seas Prose Point to Ponder: Does the book about the moon's effects on the world's oceans have a tidal page?

Q. What do you call a poem written by dogs that you have to scan to understand?
A. A bark ode.

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