Author Jokes, Editor Puns, Writer Humor 4

Funny Author Jokes, Writer Humor, Editor Puns
(Because Storied Jokes and Wordsmith Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You're Checking Out a Librarian!)

Q. What do you call a newspaper worker who makes corrections in an uneven way? A. A choppy editor!

When the doctor asked an editor how he was doing, he said there was a problem with circulation.

Q. What do you call it when consumers write good things about a light bulb? A. Glowing reviews!

#2 Writer's Rule: Avoid cliches like the plague!

Q. Why was the librarian given the Lifetime Achievement Award?
A. 'Cause she had a storied career.

Q. What do you call a librarian in South America who's always in a hurry?
A. Urgent Tina.

Today's Point to Ponder: If you are anti-pencil, are you erase-ist?

Q. What is a metaphor?
A. Fer grazin' yer cattle.

Q. Why was the junior librarian reincarnated as a bookmark?
A. 'Cause he always knew his place.

Q. Why are people who work in publishing to annotate books merely considered insignificant?
A. Because their work is mostly marginal.

Q. Which author cooked up the new book about time travel, Punctuality Lately?
A. Just N. Thyme.

Q. Which biker dude wrote the bumpy novel, Lost Off the Beaten Track?
A. Duhs T. Rhodes.

#3 Writer's Rule: Only one writer in a million can use a hyerbole correctly.

Q. What kind of eternal punishment might you get for the habitual misuse of punctuation marks?
A. Comma karma.

Q. Which Pro Bowler wrote the hard-hitting expose about football players that secretly bowl, titled: Key Pin Score?
A. Adam Upps.

Q. Who wrote the book, Yeah, I'm Still a Smoker?
A. Nick O. Tiene.

Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!

Your eyes have their own vocabulary. What a beautiful language to learn!

Q. How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but he'll tell everybody!

Q. Why was the new book about teleportation a best seller?
A. 'Cause it's bound to get you somewhere.

Q. What did the Star Trek TNG crew say about Mr. Data's poem, An Ode to Spot?
A. MeWow?

Q. Is there an English word that uses all the vowels, including Y?
A. Unquestionably!

Q. In 1964, who wrote the episode of Stars Treks Wars titled: Exploring Another Galaxy, Duh?
A. Ann Drama Duh.

Q. What did the librarian say when the local library troll asked her out on a date?
A. Sorry, I'm booked.

Q. What do you call a hint that sounds the same as another hint, but is spelled a bit differently?
A. An homonymous tip.

Q. Which author was destined to write the new novel, Plunging Necklines?
A. C. Mour Bust.

Q. What does it mean when an author feels empty?
A. Shelf awareness.

Q. What is good grammar?
A. The difference between knowing your sh*t, and knowing you're sh*t!

Q. What do you call the official leader of the Dear Abby fan club?
A. Advice president.

Q. Why did one book ask the book next to it a question?
A. To see if they were both on the same page.

Q. Which popular novelist wrote the new book, Good Read, that's not about grammar?
A. Paige Turner.

A book never written: Dental Examination by Hope N Wide

Q. Which is the most important subject in witch school? A. Spelling!

Q. How many books can you put into an empty backpack? A. One. After that, it's not empty!

Wordsmith Point to Ponder: It's great to be Awesome! So, why is it bad to be Awful?

Did you hear about the student who was an aggressive reader? He really hit the books.

Q. When do old newspaper editors die?
A. When they get depressed.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap?
A. C-A-T!

Q. Which Colorado author wrote the comedy best seller, Sore Joints?
A. A. A. King.

Q. Why was the book of incantations useless?
A. 'Cause the author failed to do a spell check.

Q. Why did the English teacher marry the school janitor?
A. Because he swept her off her feet!

Q. Do old gossip columnists ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their confidants.

Q. Who wrote the best seller that can't be found on the shelves, titled:
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow ?
A. I. M. Balding.

If two wrongs don't make a right, then why does a double negative make a positive?

Q. Why did so few folks read the Dachshund's autobigraphy?
A. Because it was such a long story.

Q. Which Colorado author wrote The Stoners Guide to Geology?
A. Roxanne Mini Railz.

Q. Which author wrote the how-to book, Features For The Newspaper?
A. R. Tick Ells.

Past Travels: Gnome Mystery. *Footnote in history

Q. Which magazine does the big bad wolf read? A. Porks Illustrated!

Medical Journal Point to Ponder: Isn't it fitting that the podiatry paper uses footnotes, while the proctology article uses endnotes?

Q. When is a carpenter with a 2x4 like a poem?
A. When he's a sawin' it.

Q. Who knew the new book, Your Future Ewe, would be a best seller?
A. Claire Voy-Ance.

Q. Who wrote the book, I'm Rolling Down the Alley?
A. Beau Ling.

Wordsmith Thought of the Day: If Horrible and Horrific are the same thing, then why are Terrible and Terrific the complete opposite?

Q. Why are poets always so poor?
A. Because rhyme doesn't pay.

Q. Who wrote the new fitness book, Weight for Me?
A. Jim Naysium.

Q. Which coroner wrote the gory new tell-all book, Showing My Guts?
A. N. Trey Ahlz.

Well, we still don't gno who is responsible for this author ungnome pun.

Q. Which unknown fashion designer covertly wrote the stylish best seller, Underware Problems?
A. Lou C. Lastic.

Q. Why did the traffic cop give the poet a ticket?
A. For driving without a poetic license.

Q. Who wrote the cyber book, A Robot's Life In the Future?
A. Art A. Ficial.

You've perused thus far, so here's even more long-winded laughter,
verbose humor, wordy jokes and terse painful puns worth reading:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

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