Q. What did the sketchbook say when the novel asked a question?
A. I'm drawing a blank.

Q. Why do influencers always carry a pencil?
A. To draw attention.

Q. What do you say to a semicolon that tries to start a fight in a bar?
A. You'll need more guts than that!

Q. Which new self-help book failed due to the response at book signings?
A. Another Breath of Fresh Air by Hal E. Towsis.

#1 Writer's Rule: Remember double negatives are always a NO, NO!

Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. So he nose where he stopped reading.

Q. Why don't blind people bother to sharpen their pencils?
A. They don't see the point of it.

Q. Who wrote the unmoving new book,
Constipation Wastes My Time?
A. Anita Pugh.

Have you heard about the new book all about the history of Teflon? It features only non-frictional characters.

Noteworthy Fact of the Day for Writers: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win!

Q. Which Peeping Tom is famous for his clever romance novel, French My Windows?
A. Pat T. O'Dors.

Did you hear about the duel participant who only showed up with a pencil and paper? He proceeded to draw his weapon...

Pick-Up a Librarian Line: Hey girl, are you my favorite book? 'Cause when I look at you, I touch my shelf.

Q. What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A. A Teapot!

Q. Which high I.Q. author wrote the new non-fiction book, Mindful Mensa Moments?
A. Jean E. Uss.

Q. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A. One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.

Q. How did the librarian lose the book, War and Peace?
A. Oh gosh, that's a long story...

Q. Who authored the stinging romance novel, Making Your Honey Even Sweeter?
A. B. Key Purr.

Q. A word in this sentence is misspelled. Which word is it?
A. Misspelled!

Q. Why didn't the neurotic guy buy the book about phobias?
A. He was afraid it wouldn't help...

Q. Which meteorologist wrote the best-selling Colorado travel book, Not Too Hot, Too Cold Not?
A. Lou Quarm.

Q. What did one pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!

Q. Which five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A. Short.

Q. Which frugal Martha Stewart wannabe wrote the new lifestyle book,
Living YES On a NO Budget?
A. Penni Pincher.

Q. Who wrote the book, Spicing Up a Dull Day?
A. Hal A. Penio.

Literate Pick-Up Line: Hey smartie, you must be a librarian, 'cause you just increased my circulation.

Q. Which buggy scientist wrote the irritating new book, Living With Mosquito Bites?
A. Ivan A. Scratch.

Q. Who did not write the book, Cousin Hurricane?
A. Ty F. Une.

Q. Which writer penned the perennial best-selling book, Suck You, Old Age?
A. Jerry Att-Rick.

If a picture's worth a thousand words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover?

Q. Which disgruntled banker wrote the cheap tell-all about safe sex, Men Can Change?
A. Bette E. Wount.

Q. Who authored the new book, How I Deal With Stress?
A. Val E. Yum.

Q. What's the difference between a broken pencil and a bad joke?
A. The broken pencil has two parts. A bad joke. ...

Librarian Pick-Up Line: You must be over-due, 'cause you are looking so fine!

Q. Why did the shy, dumb, clumsy guy toss a dictionary to the librarian, hitting her in the head?
A. 'Cause he wanted to Face-Book her.

Q. Which kind of artisan bread does a bard baker create?
A. Poet-rye.

Q. Who writes the new website, Odds and Ends that's about nothing and everything?
A. Miss Elaine Ehous.

Q. What happens when you mix literature with alcohol?
A. You get: Tequila Mockingbird.

Q. What do you call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. Which cowboy author wrote the book, Drinking Up the Old West?
A. Sal Oonz.

Today's Tricky Play on Words: A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

Sprite tell-all dishes up dirt about elves and pixies.

Q. How is the guy doing in the poetry pun contest?
A. He stanza good chance.

Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Lunch Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. Which Hollywood plastic surgeon wrote the new book, Eye Is Looking Younger?
A. Faye S. Lift.

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