Q. What did the comedian gnome chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A. HeHe!

Q. What did the gnome bartender say when Silver walked into the pub?
A. AU, get otta here!

Dr. Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F I Ne.

Dr. Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic and Sulfur? 'Cause you've got a NiCe AsS.

Q. What happened to the traveling gnome who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A. He was booked for a salt and battery.

Q. Which is the only breed of dog gnome chemists allow in their gardens?
A. Laboratory Retriever.

Q. Why does Dr. Gnome like to teach about ammonia?
A. Because it's basic material.

Dr. Gnome Chemistry Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, are you hydrogen? 'Cause I think you're number 1.

Q. Why did the gassy gnome chemist only post bad chemistry jokes online?
A. Because the good ones Argon.

Q. What did the rusty chemistry gnome say after he blew up his latest experiment?
A. Well, oxidants happen.

Q. Why aren't there most chemistry gnome jokes here?
A. Because Dr. Gnome only updates them periodically!

Chemistry Gnerd Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, do you have 11 protons? 'Cause you are sodium fine!

Q. Why did the gnome chemist say "Be-Au-Ti Full" when describing his longtime gnirlfriend?
A. Because "bery old tit" didn't sound nearly as sexy.

Q. What did Dr. Gnome say when he met the gnerdy gnomette?
A. You must be a compound of beryllium and barium because you're a total BaBe!

Q. What do you do with a dead gnome chemist?
A. You barium.

Q. Why did the math gnome's pick-up lines always fail?
A. Because the gnumbers didn't add up!

Q. How did the gnome math professor propose to his gnirlfriend?
A. With a polynomial ring!

Q. What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight the gnome physicist?
A. Let Me Atom!

Garden Troll Trivia: Smart gnomes prefer to study, instead of being studied.

Q. What do gnomes call a group of environmentally conscientious physicists?
A. Con-CERNed.

FYI: Dr. Gnome pick up lines are particularly fascinating to scientists at CERN.

Q. Which food does a gnome physicist really eat up?
A. Fission chips.

Q. Why did the brainiac gnome insist on studying in an airplane?
A. He wanted a higher education!

Q. Why don't garden gnomes ever mention the number 288?
A. Because it's two gross!

Q. How does a math gnome stay warm in an empty room?
A. He goes into the corner where it is always 90 degrees.

Q. Why did the gnome matchmaker set up the 30-60-90 degree triangle and the 45-45-90 degree triangle?
A. Because they were right for each other.

Q. Why are gnome chemists so great at solving problems?
A. They have all the solutions.

Q. What did the frazzled gnome bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium and phosphorous walked into the bar?
A. OH SNaP!

Dr. Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, let's be lab partners again tonight so I can put my stirring rod in your beaker.

Q. How can you tell your garden gnome's math tutor is hungry?
A. He'll work for pi.

Q. Why should you never hire an odd-job gnome to do eight jobs around the garden?
A. At the end of the day, he'll only have done 1, 3, 5 and 7...

Q. What did the clever gnome mathematician say to Algebra?
A. Please stop trying to find your X. She's never coming back, and don't ask Y.

Q. According to gnome physicists, why is the world so diverse?
A. Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Dr. Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, if I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Q. Why wasn't the geometry teacher at the gnome school today?
A. Because she sprained her angle.

Q. Why was the gnome's math text book so depressed?
A. Because it had so many problems.

Q. How does a clever gnome make Seven an even number?
A. He takes the S out!

Q. What do you call garden gnome dudes who love math?
A. Algebros.

Q. How is the gnome's gnirlfriend the square root of -100?
A. She's a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

Physics-cal Gnome Come-On: Hey Gnirl, I may be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr in bed.

Meteorologist Gnome Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, you are so hot that you must be causing global warming!

Q. What do gnomes in the Eternal City call a number that can't sit still?
A. A Roamin' Numeral.

Q. Why didn't the Roman gnome find algebra very challenging?
A. Because X is always 10.

Q. Why don't clever gnomes ever do arithmetic in the jungle?
A. 'Cause if you add 4+4, you get ate!

Q. Why are so many gnomettes drawn to Dr. Gnome's podcast?
A. They're attracted to his magnetic personality.

Q. What happened to the gnome chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A. He just couldn't put it down.

Q. How can you tell if a gnome mathematician is an extrovert?
A. When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q. Where do gnome math teachers like to go on vacation?
A. To Times Square!

Q. Why can't gnome atheists ever solve exponential equations?
A. Because they don't believe in a higher power.

Q. Why did the greenhouse gnome's plants hate math?
A. Because it gives them square roots.

Q. What is the garden gnome's formula for ice?
A. H2O cubed.

Q. Does your garden gnome know any jokes about sodium?
A. NA.

Q. What do you do with a sick gnome chemist?
A. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well just barium.

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