Gnome Pun Intended! Gnome Kidding...

Q. Why weren't the garden gnomes sad when the headless snowman melted?
A. Because he was snowbody.

Q. What is the last thing a hard-working gardener gnome does?
A. He leaves.

Q. What did the dung beetle order at the garden gnome's fast food joint?
A. The Number Two.

Good things do come in small packages? Mystery solved.

Q. Which kind of bread do gnomes use to make sandwiches?
A. Short bread.

Q. What happened when the gnome comedian told his best gardening joke?
A. The audience soiled themselves.

Q. What did the dung beetle ask the bartender at the gnome garden bar?
A. Is this stool taken?

Take Gnome Prisoners? Is this a hostage situation or a deadly pun?

Q. Why do gnomes laugh while they're out running?
A. 'Cause the grass tickles their balls.

Q. What to gnomes say at a garden party?
A. Lettuce turnip the beet!

Q. Why did the traveling gnome quit his position as a fertilizer salesman?
A. It was a shitty job.

There's gnome time like the present. That's a gift from your inner troll.

Q. What do you call a garden gnome who collects plastic bottles and cans?
A. A wee-cycler.

Q. What is a gnome's favorite breakfast cereal?
A. Lucky Charms.

Q. Why did the Kansas gnome choose a job in agriculture?
A. He heard it was a growing field.

Pugilist gnome thinks he's some sort of a tough guy.

Did you hear about the guy who stole an expensive gnome from the garden center, turned the corner, and ran into a female security guard? It was a huge bust.

Garden Pixie Pick Up Line: Hey girl, I'm sexy and I gnome it!

Q. What do gnomes call a garden tool that is used to dig up large amounts of treasure?
A. A big booty hoe.

Gnome Parking sign spells trouble for violators.

Q. What do garden gnomes call piles of frog poop?
A. Toad stools.

Q. What did the llama say when gnomes invited him out for a picnic?
A. Alpaca lunch.

Q. How did the garden gnome beat the leprechaun to the pot of gold?
A. He took a short cut.

This stinking gnome pun is just more bull.

Q. What happened after the gnome got fired from his low-paying waiter job?
A. He had a hard time putting food on the table.

Q. Why are gnomes such great gardeners?
A. Because they're really down to earth guys.

Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, if I followed you home, would you keep me?

Gnome Buddy gnomes the trouble he's seen.

Q. How many gnomes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to screw in the bulb, and nine to stand on each other's shoulders.

Gnome Fact of the Day: You just gotta hand it to gnomes! 'Cause they can't reach it by themselves...

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey guy, speaking of raised beds...

Gnome is striking up a compromise to a flaming debate.

Q. How can you tell if you've been sexually assaulted by a gnome while you were asleep in the backyard?
A. You wake up with a sore belly button.

Gardening Point to Ponder: They say manure is good for tomatoes, but gnomes gnow that totally ruins the sandwich.

This is exactly why gnomes are not featured in clothing ads.

Q. What did the shrink say to the garden gnome who said he felt sad and depressed?
A. Remember, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

Q. What did Mozart put in his front yard?
A. A metro-gnome.

Ambiguous troll is just out for laughs, and gnon cents!

Q. Why did the gnome say his boss was a little difficult?
A. Because he was a real micro-manager.

Q. What job did the gnome get at the restaurant?
A. Short order cook.

Gnome What I'm Saying? Hot tell-all about secret gardens is already on the 2020 Best Sellers List.

Did you hear about the new gnome business that weighs tiny items? It's just a small scale operation.

Q. Why didn't the gnomes have a fungus farm in their backyard?
A. Because there wasn't mushroom.

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