Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How do insanely fast gnome runners go through the
A. They take the psychopath!
Gnome Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl,
did you get those running shorts on sale? 'Cause at my place,
they're 100% off!
Running Gnome Wisdom: Remember, the second most important
thing to choosing the right running shoe is choosing the
What is a gnome hair stylist's favorite day of the week?
A. Dos Day!
What do coffee-loving gnomes call their favorite day of
Which day of the week do naked gnome streakers look forward
Why did the gnome name his cat Monday?
A. Because it's dark, snarky, and sneaks up out of nowhere!
bodybuilders strive for keyed muscle tone, worked out moves
gnirls can't resist, and pun perfection. Three out of four
Why did the gnomes name their new gym Resolutions?
A. Because it features workout equipment the first two weeks,
and then it's a bar for the rest of the year.
How does a gnome measure a miniature golf course?
A. In par secs.