Golf Ball Says: Happy Fore Day! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.


Golf Jokes, Greens Humor, Golfer Puns
Putter along with diveting golf pro puns, up to par golf course humor, and swinging duff jokes.

Golfing Jokes, Putt Puns, Golf Ball Humor
(Because Hit Hole-In-One Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Ace Golfers or Geese with Game.)
Warning: Fore! Proceed at your own risk. Swinging Humor, Putter-ful Puns, and Crazy Drivers Ahead.
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Golf ball says: If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt!Q. Why did the pirate give up the game of golf? A. He kept hooking the ball!Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes? A. in case he gets a hole in one!

Q. Why did the guy who stinks at golf still play every weekend?
A. To bug his wife; she thinks he's out having fun.

Q. What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
A. When you're driving a car, you don't want to hit anything.

Q. Why did the big ape spend so much time on the golf course?
A. He was perfecting his swing.

Golfer Mishap: I was playing golf and hit two of my best balls. Dang it, I stepped on a rake!

Q. What did one golf ball say to the other?
A. See you round!

Q. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

Q. What do young golfers get in their Christmas stockings?
A. Silly Putty.

Q. Which type of shirts do golfers prefer?
A. Tees.

Business at the new driving range was in full swing!Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!When each player hit onto the next fairway, the golfers were four for fore!

Q. What is scratch golf?
A. When you hit the ball and scratch your head wondering where it went.

Q. How do pro golfers stay so cool?
A. They stand next to their fans.

Q. What was the impolite golfer's problem?
A. He was not addressing the ball properly.

Q. Where do high society golfers go on a date?
A. To the Golf Ball.

Q. Why do golfers hate the game Hearts?
A. Because all they ever get are Clubs!

Q. How are golf balls like eggs?
A. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Q How good was the pirate's golf game? A. Parrr!Q. What did the dentist say to the golfer? A. You have a hole in one!You might be from Colorado if you don't drink and drive.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton like to play golf?
A. His heart was not in it.

Q. What does it mean when your golf partner can't remember if he shot a five or a six?
A. Likely, he shot a seven.

Q. Where can you find 25 doctors on any given day?
A. At the golf course.

Q. Why shouldn't you golf in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs there.

Q. What's the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer?
A. A bad golfer says, "WHACK...Damn." A bad skydiver says, "Damn it... WHACK!"

Q. What is a golfer's favorite letter?
A. Tee.

Tweet Birdies: Gloating on social media after a good round of golfQ. What kind of socks do pirates wear? A. Arrrgyles!Q. What do you call it when a strong storm hits the coast of Maine? A. Augusta wind!

Q. What is the difference between a golf ball and the G Spot?
A. A man will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball.

Q. What do golfers always carry a spare pair of socks?
A. In case they get a hole in one.

Q. What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A. When a golfer lies, he doesn't have to bring anything home for proof.

Q. What do you call competitors lined up on a rocky beach that are holding hands?
A. Pebble Beach Golf Links.

Q. What should you do if your golf game is interrupted by lightning?
A. Walk around and hold your 1-iron above your head, because even Mother Nature can't hit a 1-iron.

Whoa, did you hear about the golfer who was shot at the border? Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.

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