Q. Which green vegetables are seriously into weightliftting?
A. Muscle sprouts.

Q. How is the gym like church?
A. No matter what you do all week, you think you can erase it all with one visit.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hope you're into yoga, 'cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.

Q. What happened to the guy who held a squat for too long?
A. He got hunker pains.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, going to a sculpture class won't even get you this chiseled.

A blonde went to the gym and decided to jump on the treadmill. But, people were giving her weird looks, so she decided to jog instead.

Q. Which equipment do future time travelers use back at the gym to stay in shape?
A. A Flex Capacitor.

Gym Pick-Up Line: You must be a track star because you've been running through my mind all day!

Q. Why did the blind guy go the the gym?
A. He hoped to find a spotter.

Workout Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the guy who died from a lack of exercise? He didn't even run when he saw the bus coming at him.

Gnomes bodybuilders strive for keyed muscle tone, worked out moves babes can't resist, and pun perfection.

Q. What do you call a buff Trekkie at the gym?
A. A flextra terrestrial.

Stinking Funny Workout Wisecrack: If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite gym exercise?
A. Undeadlifts.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I know of a fun aerobic exercise that can burn 500 calories an hour...

Gym Tip: Before every workout, always warm up with at least 10 reps of selfies to both Facebook and Twitter.

Q. Which arm exercise do farmers do at a dairy farm?
A. Cheese curls.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder and a peeping Tom?
A. Amazing Peeks.

Q. Which Aussies were the first to concentrate on working out their ab muscles?
A. The native Ab-Originals.

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.
– Arnold Schwarznegger

Q. Why did Chuck Norris take a rest day?
A. To give the weights a day off.

Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris lift weights?
A. Because that implies there are limits to his strength.

Q. Which exercise do they do at a cutlery store?
A. Fork Lifts.

Q. What do sick British bodybuilders do on the loo?
A. Drop sets.

Q. What is the lazy guy's idea of a good workout?
A. Doing diddly squats.

Q. Which shoulder exercise do employees do at the candy factory?
A. The peppermint twist.

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you've hit your plateau, but damn it would be hard to top you.

Today's Running Joke: I ran twice today! First, I ran out to get beer and tacos, then I had to run to the restroom.

Fitness Point to Ponder: According to my workout watch, I've masturbated for four miles.

Workout Wisecrack: Remember, your brain needs exercise, too. So, spend lots of time thinking up excuses not to work out.

Q. Which fitness song does a wad of money sing to someone who's out shopping?
A. You Spend Me.

Q. What do gym rats call it when somebody refuses to do core workouts?
A. Ab-stinent.

Q. Which chest exercise do vintners prefer?
A. The wine press.

Q. Which exercise do hair stylists do at the gym?
A. Curls.

Wannabe Gym Rat Failure: I've accepted the fact that being cremated is the only way I'll ever have a smokin' hot body.

Q. What kind of workout does an apprentice electrician enjoy?
A. Circuit training.

Q. Why couldn't the bodybuilder be evicted?
A. 'Cause he was squatting.

Q. When the rooster went on a workout regimen, what was his result?
A. Good pecks.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Did you take your Flintstones vitamin today? 'Cause I wanna make your Bedrock.

Workout Wisecrack: When I was younger, I looked forward to getting up early to exercise. Now, getting out of bed in the morning is my exercise.

Q. What is the entrance to gym at Hogwarts called?
A. Dumbell Door.

Did you hear about the bodybuilder who took part in the sun tanning event at the Olympics? He only got the bronze.

When Chuck Norris goes to the gym, the treadmill sweats!

Fitness Point to Ponder: Does Chuck Norris leave potholes when he jogs?

Q. Why do cross-fit gyms have chalk?
A. So you can mark where the bodies fall.

Q. Why did the guy fail at his daily 200 situps workout?
A. 'Cause his body couldn't take the ab use.

Q. What do leg day and sex have in common?
A. When done properly, you can't walk for days.

Q. If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
A. Ten after one.

Workout Wisecrack: Does anybody have a treadmill for sale? My closet is full and I need more space to hang my clothes.

Workout Wisecrack: I've been a gym member for six months, but I don't see any progress. Maybe I need to go there in person to see what's going on?

Q. Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church at the beach?
A. It was a great source of mussel mass.

Q. What is it called when a rapper goes to the gym for a quick workout?
A. A Lil' Pump.

Q. What did the lazy out-of-shape guy get when he quit going to the gym?
A. A-trophy.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Did you see the latest health report? It said you should increase your intake of vitamin ME!

Q. What dessert describes your girlfriend after a strenuous workout at the gym?
A. Sore Bae.

Q. What happened after the big sea cow joined the gym with the dolphin trainer?
A. She moved with a porpoise.

Q. What do you call a bodybulider with a sunburn?
A. Flecks Wheeler.

Q. How did T-Rex feel after his last killer workout?
A. Dino-sore!

Q. Why are chemistry labs good for a workout?
A. They can make you buffer.

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