Q. What is an elephant's favorite sport? A. Squash.   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
McCoy Says: Yes, Klingons do work out at the He's Dead Gym!
Hulk Asks: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose? A. Yoga Pants!
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment!
Q. Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A. Because he was squatting!


Jock Humor, Sports Puns, Funny Athlete Jokes
Root for the home team with good sports jokes, winning humor, and pro player puns that score.

Sports Jokes, Athletics Puns, Sporting Humor
(Because Jock Jokes and Athletic Supporter Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Olympic Humor Hopefuls!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Ask Your doctor if you're healthy enough to endure strenuous laughter.
| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Baseball Jokes | Basketball Humor | Bodybuilder Puns | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing Jokes |
| Camping and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness LOLs | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | Gym Flirts |
| Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes | Running Jokes | Scary Sports Puns | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Puns | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Denver Broncos! | Colorado Sports Humor | Water RecreationH umor |

Q. Why are police officers excellent volleyball players? A. They know how to serve and protect!Q. What is a vampire's favorite game? A. Batminton!Q. Which sporting event do hogs hold every four years? A. The Olympigs!

Q. What is the worst advice a coach could give to a nude volleyball team?
A. Play hard.

Q. What does a carpenter have in common with a top volleyball player?
A. They both like to hammer spikes.

Q. What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a volleyball court?
A. Annette.

Q. What do volleyball players do in the off time?
A. They watch Spike TV.

Q. What did the shuttlecock say when it got smacked?
A. Wow, who's making all that racquet?

My dog, Minton, ate two shuttlecocks. Bad, bad, Minton!

Q. Why don't skeletons ever play badminton?
A. They have no body to play with!

Q. What do you get if you cross the Invisible Man with a pro badminton player?
A. A badminton match like nobody's ever seen!

Q. What do you call commercials shown during the summer and winter global games?
A. Olympi-ads.

Q. Why was the spotted cat disqualified from the Olympics?
A. He was a confirmed Cheetah.

Q. How are scrambled eggs like a losing Olympian?
A. They've both been beaten.

Q. Why did the skydiving club disband?
A. Because they had a falling out.

Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs!Q. Why don't grasshoppers attend football games? A. They prefer cricket matches!Gnome Swimming Allowed. Paparazzi: *Shudder* NOT Shutter.

And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.

Q. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
A. Catch ya later!

Q. Which sport is the first to be mentioned in the Bible?
A. Baseball. Genesis says: In the big inning.

Q. Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
A. It just wasn't getting any hits.

Q. What do baseball players use to bake a cake?
A. Oven mitts, bunt pan, and batter!

Q. Why do soccer players have a hard time eating pizza?
A. They think they can't use their hands.

Q. Which soccer player keeps the field clean?
A. The sweeper.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the soccer ball?
A. The defense cleared it.

Soccer players are the only people who can dribble and still look neat.

Q. Why do so many Americans play soccer?
A. So they don't have to watch it on TV.

Q. Which animals make the best soccer players?
A. Score-pions!

Q. Where do zombies like to go swimming?
A. The Dead Sea.

Q. Where do ghosts like to swim?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. Why did the vegetarian stop swimming?
A. She didn't like all the meets!

Q. Which word looks the same backward and upside down?

Q. Why did the spider take swimming lessons?
A. She wanted to surf the web!

Q. Why are crabs such slow swimmers?
A. 'Cause they prefer the crawl.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A. She heard the ref was blowing fowls!Q. What kind of cheese likes to shoot hoops? A. Swish Cheese!What is the last site where a boxer fights? His final wresting place!

Q. Why is basketball the messiest sport?
A. Because the players dribble all over the court.

Q. Why did the basketball player go to jail?
A. Because he shot the ball!

Q. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
A. Because they always make jump shots.

Q. What do you call a pig who never passes the basketball?
A. A ball hog.

Q. What does a basketball player say when he misses?
A. Shoot!

Q. What did March say about all the madness?
A. What's all that bracket?

Q. What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?
A. Alley Whoops.

Q. Where do basketball players get their coffee?
A. At Dunkin' Donuts!

Q. What's the difference between a hockey game and a wrestling match?
A. In hockey, the fights are real!

Boxing Pick-Up Line: Is your dad a boxer? 'Cause you're a real knock out.

Q. Why don't boxers have sex before a fight?
A. They just don't swing that way.

Q. Why are guys with saggy pants bad boxers?
A. They don't like being belted.

New record set by gnome worthy athleteSign on a Hacker's Door: "Gone Phishing"Championship Game at the Astro Gnome

Q. Why can't the old-school all-star athlete listen to retro music?
A. Because he broke all the old records!

Q. What was the fastest bug competition ever held in the Olympics?
A. Quicket, in 1900.

Q. What was the fastest dinosaur that competed in the Jurassic Olympics?
A. The Prontosaurus.

Q. Why didn't the furry marsupial make it onto the Olympics team?
A. 'Cause he didn't koala-fy!

Q. What do fishermen do when their keyboard sounds funny?
A. They call a piano tuna.

Q. What does a fisherman use to find the World Wide Web?
A. The Net.

Q. Which social network do USO aliens prefer?
A. Fishbook.

Q. What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman?
A. A loan-ly master-baiter.

Indoor gnome sports just don't have the same air.

Q. Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second?
A. Because there's a short stop in between.

Q. Why do professional singers make great baseball players?
A. Because they have perfect pitch!

Q. What did it take to keep the great pitcher on the baseball team?
A. Management had to strike up a good deal.

| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes, Jogger Puns | Scary Sports | Snow Skiing Jokes | Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns |
| Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes | Water Recreation Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Colorado Sports Humor |

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