Gorilla asks: Did you hear about the new banana diet? You don't lose much weight, but climbing trees is a breeze!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 17,500 times!
Have You Ever Tried to Eat a Clock? It's Very Time Consuming
There's a new machine at my gy. Only used it for an hour and I started to feel sick. It's good though. It does everything: Kitkats, Snickers, Mar Bars, Doritos...
What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol!


Exercise Puns, Funny Fitness Jokes, Gym Humor
Laugh your way into a fit with a bit of puns, running jokes, and fitfully painful workout humor.

Workout Jokes, Exercise Humor, Fitness Puns
(Because Beefy Jokes, Beefcake Puns, and Curly Fries Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at a Vegan Steak House?)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Nimble aerobatic jokes, fitness buff humor, and punny gym pick-up lines ahead.
| Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 | Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes |
| Salad Jokes | Tasty Puns | Beefy Jokes | Dessert Jokes | Bakery Puns | Tex-Mex Food Jokes |
| Hot Dog Puns | Hamburger Jokes | Pizza Puns To Go | Beer Jokes | Wine Jokes | Coffee Jokes |
| Sports Jokes | Gym Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Bodybuilder Jokes | Running Jokes | Sports Pick-Ups |
| Football Jokes | Broncos Jokes | Baseball Puns | Boxing Jokes | Skiing Jokes | Swimming Puns |

Q. Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A. He didn't. There's no walking on leg day!Q. Which exercise do hairdressers do at the gym? A. Curls!Q. What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his protein tub? A. No whey!

A marathon runner runs into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why the long pace?"

Gym Pick-Up Line: Word of the day is: Legs. Wanna go back to my place and spread the word?

Q. Why didn't the blonde work out while she had a cold?
A. She figured her nose could do the running instead.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all night.

Q. What happened after the guy took bench press out of his workout schedule?
A. It was a huge weight off his chest.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, do you have any tape? 'Cause I'm totally ripped.

Q. Why did the guy fail at his daily 200 situps workout?
A. 'Cause his body couldn't take the ab use.

Gym Pick-Up Line for Bodybuilders: Going to a sculpture class won't even get you this chiseled.

Q. What do sick British bodybuilders do on the loo?
A. Drop sets.

Fitness Failure: I signed up for a gym membership in January. So far, I've lost $200.

Q. Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church at the beach?
A. It was a great source of mussel mass.

Healthy Diet Point to Ponder: Wouldn't charting your weight loss diet progress on a pie chart just make you crave more dessert?

A guy at the gym fell off the treadmill because he wasn't exercising caution!The most grueling part of my workout is putting jeans on in the locker room while I'm still kind of wet from the shower!Q. What did Darth Vader say when he visited a vegan restaurant? A. I find your lack of steak disturbing!

Q. How do crazy runners go through the forest?
A. The take the psychopath!

Q. Why did the blonde run backward?
A. She wanted to gain weight.

Q. What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
A. The worst running gag ever.

Funny Fitness Factoid: People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.

Q. What do gym rats call it when somebody refuses to do core workouts?
A. Ab-stinent.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder with a Peeping Tom?
A. Amazing Peeks.

Q. What do you call a fascist vegan?
A. Lactose Intolerant.

Q. How can you become 20% lighter instantly?
A. Just spell light as lite instead!

Entered what I ate today in my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house...

Q. What does Batman do for exercise? A. AeroBATics!Workout Humor: Gnome Pain, Gnome Gain! Q. What do you get if you combine Robin and Vita-Mix? A. Robin, the Bloy Blender!

Gym Confession: Sometimes, I look like I'm working out, but I'm actually using every muscle in by body to keep from farting.

Q. What is an easy way to add squats to your daily routine?
A. Move the beer to the bottom shelf of the fridge.

Healthy Diet Point to Ponder: Is it just a coincidence that the word diet has the word die in it?

I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he's trying to "Diet Hard."

Q. Which Aussies were the first to concentrate on working out their ab muscles?
A. The native Ab-Originals.

Q. Why did Satan open a gym?
A. So he could exercise his demons.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. – Henny Youngman

Fitness Point to Ponder: If you change the color of your food, are you on a dye-it?

Stinking Funny Workout Wisecrack: If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant!

Fitness Fact of the Day: If you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat – fast.

Q. Why did the fish stop lifting weights?
A. He pulled a mussel.

Q. What is a Honeymoon Salad? A. Lettuce alone, with no dressingDiets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.Q. What do hockey players drink? A. Peanl Teas!

A blonde went to the gym and decided to jump on the treadmill. But, people were giving her weird looks, so she decided to jog instead.

Q. How can you painlessly add more fruit to your diet?
A. Smoke weed out of an apple.

Diet and Fitness Point to Ponder: Can some diets, like the refried beans diet and the cabbage diet, cause a gut reaction?

Fitness Failure: I've started a new exercise regimen. Every morning when I get up, I do one sit-up.

Who says I've got no will power? I WILL get that pecan pie, if it's the last thing I do!

Q. What is one very key aspect of a successful weight loss diet?
A. Mind over platter.

Diet True Dat of the Day: Dieting is a weigh of life.

Q. Why is eating while standing naked in front of a mirror such an effective dieting tactic?
A. 'Cause the restaurant will surely throw you out before you can eat too much!

Loser Weight Loss of the New Year: I need to lose 20 pounds this year. So far so good. Only 25 more to go.

Q. What do you call buff Santa Claus?
A. Mr. Xmas.

| Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 | Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes |
| Salad Jokes | Tasty Puns | Beefy Jokes | Dessert Jokes | Bakery Puns | Tex-Mex Food Jokes |
| Hot Dog Puns | Hamburger Jokes | Pizza Puns To Go | Beer Jokes | Wine Jokes | Coffee Jokes |
| Sports Jokes | Gym Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Bodybuilder Jokes | Golf Puns | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes | Scary Sports Puns | Soccer Humor | Sports Bar Jokes | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Football Jokes | Broncos Jokes | Baseball Puns | Boxing Jokes | Skiing Jokes | Swimming Puns |

PainfulPuns Home
You're still pumped up, so here's more weighty humor, running jokes,
and fitting painful puns to work out while you're on a strict diet of LOLs:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Batman Puns | Blonde Jokes | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dairy Farm Puns | Gnome Kidding! | Golfer Jokes |
| Hair Style Humor | Hipster Jokes | Jeans Jokes | Money Puns | Munchie Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines |
| Police Puns | Rabbit Puns | Sasquatch Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Steak Jokes | Weak Day Laughs |

Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.