To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for Nothing!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Mathematics Jokes, Algebra Humor, Math Puns
Number puns, arithmetic riddles, and funny jokes that really do add up to laughter!

Math Jokes, Geometry Humor, Number Puns
(Because Intelligent Jokes That Multiply the LOLs Are NOT Mainstream Enough)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. This is a smart ass LOL accelerated course.
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Q. What does a teacher say if you doze off in math class? A. Up And Add 'Em!A rubberband pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math destruction.Did you know the digit that 4+4 equals didn't exist until it was cre-eight-ed!

Q. Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
A. Because it's two gross!

Dear Algebra, Please stop trying to find your X. She's never coming back, and don't ask Y.

Q. How do you stay warm in an empty room?
A. Go into the corner where it is always 90 degrees.

Q. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
A. To Times Square!

Q. How can you make seven an even number?
A. Take the S out!

Q. Why should you never do arithmetic in the jungle?
A. Because if you add 4+4, you get ate!

Q. What did the triangle say to the circle? A. You're pointless!did you realize it's easy to add zero plus zero? There's nothing to it!Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

Q. Why did the 30-60-90 degree triangle marry the 45-45-90 degree triangle?
A. Because they were right for each other.

I made the mistake of hiring an odd-job guy to do eight jobs. At the end of the day, he'd only done 1, 3, 5 and 7...

Q. Why didn't the Roman find algebra very challenging?
A. Because X is always 10.

Q. How can you tell if a mathematician is extroverted?
A. When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q. What do you call a number that can't sit still?
A. A Roamin' Numeral.

Are you a 90 angle? 'Cause you're looking so right!Q. Which part of math does a cow enjoy most? A. Mootiplication!Babe, I gnome my math and you have one significant figure!

Are you a dyslexic angel, 'cause you looking la-right to me.

Q. Why is the obtuse triangle depressed?
A. Because it is never right!

Q. What do you call dudes who love math?
A. Algebros.

Q. Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A. Because she sprained her angle.

Dr. Gnome Pick-Up Lines: Funny, but the gnumbers don't seem to add up.

Q. How does a math professor propose to his girlfriend?
A. With a polynomial ring!

Did you hear about the math teacher who taught multiplication a number of times?Hey Gnirl, I was born on Pi Day. That's why my love is infinite and non-repeating!Q. What did the calculator say to a pencil on Valentine's Day? A. You can always count on me!

I just saw my math teacher with some graph paper. I think he may be plotting something...

Q. Why do plants hate math?
A. Because it gives them square roots.

Dr. Gnome Pick-Up Lines that might only work one day out of 365. Gnome doubt, being a comedian meme is better ala mode.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She's a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

Q. Why is the math text book so depressed?
A. Because it has so many problems.

Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 7 8 9!

Q. What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter? A. Moon PiGnirl, if you were a triangle, you'd be acute one!Deciding what to focus on at college can be a mjor decision!

An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.

Q. How do you know your math tutor is hungry? A. She'll work for pi.

If nothing is better than life, and if a ham sandwich is better than nothing, does that mean a ham sandwich is worth dying for?

Sharp pick-up lines help you get an angle on the dating scene.

Q. Are monsters good at math?
A. No, unless you Count Dracula!

Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems!

Q. Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A. Because they don't believe in a higher power.

Q. What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A. A large pizza can feed a family of four.

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