
Mathematics
Jokes, Algebra Humor, Math Puns
Number
1 jokes, zero puns, arithmetic riddles and funny math jokes do add
up to laughter.
Math Jokes, Geometry Puns, Number Humor
(Because Arithmetic Puns and Algebra Jokes That Multiply
the LOLs Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream in Math Class!) 
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Risk! Math jokes, calculated laughs, gross humor,
and problem pi puns ahead.
 School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom
Humor  Teacher Jokes, Professor
Puns, EDU Humor 
 Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library
Humor  2  3
 4  5
 Poetry Jokes 
Author Unknown 
 Science Jokes and Scientist Puns
 2  Science
PickUp Lines  Chemistry Jokes
 Physics Puns 
 Math Humor  Weather
Jokes  2  Colorado
Weather Jokes  Moon Jokes 
Planetary Puns 
 Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor
and Cosmology Puns  2  3
 4  5
 6  Cows
in Space 
Q.
Why should students never say "288" at
school?
A. Because that's two gross!
Dear
Algebra, Please stop trying to find your X. She's never
coming back, and don't ask Y.
Q.
How do you know acorns like math?
A. Because when the grow up, they say, "Gee, I'm
a tree."
Q.
What do you get if you cross an arithmetic teacher and a
clock?
A. Mathematicks.
Q.
Which geometry figure is like a lost bird?
A. Polygon. 
Q.
What did the algebra book say to the arithmetic book?
A. So, you think you've got problems!
Q.
How do you stay warm in an empty room?
A. Go into the corner where it is always 90 degrees.
Q.
What did 0 say to 8?
A. Nice belt!
Q.
What is a caterpillar's favorite subject in school?
A. Mothematics.
Q.
Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
A. Times Square.

Q.
Why are students so tired after doing arithmetic problems?
A. Because they had to carry a lot of numbers.
Q.
How did the OCD math geek make seven even?
A. He took away the S.
Q.
What does a math geek call an empty parrot cage?
A. Polygon.
Q.
Why is it so dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. 'Cause when you add 4 and 4, you get ate! 
Parallel
lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never
meet.
Q.
Why did the 306090 degree triangle marry the 454590
degree triangle?
A. Because they were so right for each other.
Q.
Why aren't 4s friends with 5s?
A. Cause they're odd.
Q.
What do math teachers eat for dinner?
A. Square meals.
Q.
Why did the two 4s skip lunch?
A. 'Cause they already 8!
Q.
What did the math professor's parrot say when he wasn't
hungry?
A. PolyNoMeal. 
I
made the mistake of hiring an oddjob guy to do eight jobs.
At the end of the day, he'd only done 1, 3, 5 and 7...
Q.
Why didn't the ancient Romans find algebra very challenging?
A. Because X is always 10.
Q.
Why did the algebra book go to a psychiatrist?
A. Because it had so many complex problems.
Q.
What was a TRex's favorite number?
A. 8!
Q.
How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two. An inside and an outside.

Q.
How can you tell if a mathematician is extroverted?
A. When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead
of his own.
Q.
What does a math teacher call numbers that just can't sit
still?
A. Roamin' Numerals.
Q.
What did the abacus say to the calculator?
A. You can count on me.
Q.
Which snakes are the best at math?
A. Adders.
Q.
What did the square ask the circle?
A. Been around long? 
Math
Geek PickUp Line: Are you a dyslexic angel, 'cause you
looking laright to me.
Q.
How is 3+3=9 like your left foot?
A. It's not right!
Q.
Why was the obtuse angle always so frustrated?
A. Because it was never right.
Q.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
A. You're pointless.
Q.
What is the weather forecast when a right angle goes swimming?
A. 90º.
Q.
What did the math textbook say to the history book?
A. You know, you can always count on me. 
Q.
How do ranchers in Wyoming do math?
A. They use cowculators.
Q.
How do cows do arithmetic?
A. They add one to an udder.
Q.
What do you call dudes who really love math?
A. Algebros.
Q.
What does a mallard use to do math?
A. A quackulator.
Q.
Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A. Because she sprained her angle.
Q.
What did the math circle say to te rectangle?
A. Dude, you're such a square! 
Q.
Why don't they ever serve beer at a math geek party?
A. 'Cause you can't drink and derive.
Q.
How does a math professor propose to his girlfriend?
A. With a polynomial ring!
Q.
Why did the student wear glasses in math class?
A. Because that helps in davision.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a tree?
A. Arithmesticks.
Q.
Which part of a math savant's body helps him solve problems?
A. His Addems Apple. 
I
just saw my math teacher with some graph paper. I think
he may be plotting something...
Teacher:
Why are you doing your multiplication problems on the floor?
Student: Because you said to do them without using tables.
Q.
Which tables don't math students need to study?
A. Dinner tables.
Q.
Why is glue so bad at math?
A. 'Cause it always gets stuck on the problems.
Q.
Why shouldn't you take a math test on a safari?
A. Too many cheetahs.
Q.
Why do plants hate math?
A. Because it gives them square roots. 
Q.
Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. 'Cause they use pilots.
Q.
What is a math teacher's favorite dessert?
A. Pi.
Q.
What is the most popular dessert of math teachers in Georgia?
A. Peach Pi.
My
girlfriend is the square root of 100. She's a perfect 10,
but purely imaginary.
Q.
Why was the warlock so bad at math?
A. He never knew witch equation to use.
Q.
Which number gets bigger if you turn it upside down?
A. 6.
Q.
Which USA state has the most arithmetic teachers?
A. Mathachussets.

Q.
Why was the math book always so worried?
A. Because it had so many problems.
Q.
Why did the square and the triangle go to the gym?
A. To get in shape.
Q.
What does a geometry teacher call a square that's been in
an accident?
A. A Wrecktangle!
Q.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. 'Cause 7 ate 9!
Q.
Where do kids in New York City learn the multiplication
tables?
A. Times Square.
Trivial
Math Thought of the Day: Decimals do have a point.
Q.
What is a math teacher's favorite season?
A. Summer. 
An
opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Q.
How do you know your math tutor is hungry?
A. She'll work for pi.
Q.
What does a math geek have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
A. Pumpkin Pi.
Q.
Who came up with King Arthur's Round Table?
A. Sir Cumference.
Q.
Why does a right triangle run the air conditioner so much?
A. Because it's always 90º!
Delicious
Math Problem of the Day: If nothing is better than life,
and if a ham sandwich is better than nothing, does that
mean a ham sandwich is worth dying for? 
Math
Geek Tip of the Day: Sharp pickup lines help you
get an angle on the dating scene.
Q.
Are monsters good at math?
A. No, unless you Count Dracula!
Dear
Math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems!
Q.
Do you know a statistics joke?
A. Yes, but it's mean.
Q.
Where do multiplication problems eat at a diner?
A. At times tables.
Q.
Which kind of pet bird does a mathematician own?
A. A Polynomial.
Q.
What do inches follow?
A. Their ruler.

Q.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A. Because they don't believe in a higher power.
Math
Teacher: How do you make one vanish?
Student: Just add a G to its beginning.
Statistician:
Have you heard the latest statistics joke?
Coworker: Probably.
Q.
Where do math teachers celebrate on New Year's Eve?
A. Times Square.
Q.
What happened when a plant decided to take a math class?
A. It grew square roots.
Q.
What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and
a large pizza?
A. A large pizza can feed a family of four. 

School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom
Humor  Teacher Jokes, Professor
Puns, EDU Humor 
 Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library
Humor  2  3
 4  5
 Poetry Jokes 
Author Unknown 
 Science Jokes and Scientist Puns
 2  Science
PickUp Lines  Chemistry Jokes
 Physics Puns 
 Math Humor  Weather
Jokes  2  Colorado
Weather Jokes  Moon Jokes 
Planetary Puns 
 Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor
and Cosmology Puns  2  3
 4  5
 6  Cows
in Space 
 Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns  1
 2  3
 4  5
 6  7  8
 9  Brainiac
Puns  Brain Jokes  2

You've circled
around this far, so here's more integral
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