If Monday was a hair style, it would be a mullet!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. Why did
the hair police
arrest the
local barber?

A. For running
a clip joint.

Q. What is a great name for a barber? A. Les Offenbach!

Q. Which kind
of insect
wears a tiny

A. An earwig.

Q. What
does a bald
wear as
a toupee?

A. A few hares.

Redneck gnome of mullet gnome? Who'd get the gnirl?

Q. What is
a barber's

A. A cruise on
a clipper ship.


Barber Jokes, Hairy Man Humor, Beard Puns
Comb over for barbershop puns, hairpiece humor, bad rug burns, bald LOLs and clip joint jokes.

Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns, Toupee Humor
(Because Receeding Hairline Jokes and Bald Guy Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at the Hair Club for Men!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! jokes, man bun humor, close shaves and deadly funny hell toupee puns ahead.
| Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Shirt Jokes | Pants Jokes | Sock Puns | Shoe Jokes | Fashion Jokes |

If Satan lost his hair, would there be Hell toupee?How Does a Man on the Moon Get His Hair Cut? Eclipse It.Did you hear about the trendy mountain top barber shop? It was a cut above the rest!

Q. What did the man, who usually wore a toupee, do when he wanted to relax?
A. He just let his hair down.

Q. Why doesn't The Hulk need to style his hair?
A. Because it lays perfectly still out of sheer terror.

Q. What did the blonde hair stylish say when the balding man said he wanted a hair cut?
A. Which one?

Q. What is the optimal true definition of a toupee?
A. A top secret!

Q. How do we know hair brushes like these painful hair puns.
A. They keep combing back!

Q. What do you call several men waiting in line for a haircut?
A. A barber-cue.

Q. What did the barber do after the fire at the barbershop?
A. He combed through the ashes.

Q. Which barber shop did the sarcastic comedian prefer?
A. Cutting Remarks.

Q. What is the difference between a circus master and Caesar's barber?
A. One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.

Ancient Aliens Point to Ponder: Could it be possible that alien barbers abduct Giorgio Tsoukalos while he's asleep to style his hair?

Q. What do you call a pricey barber shop?
A. A clip joint.

Q. Where can you get a scary good hair cut in Estes Park, Colorado?
A. At Hair's Johnny Salon in the Stanley Hotel.

Q. Which barber shop has a tie-died barber's pole?
A. The Grateful Head.

Did you hear about the big fight at the barber shop? It was a very hairy situation.

Q. Which barber shop is haunted by ghosts?
A. The Great Hair After.

Funny elderly barbers never die. They just become old cut-ups.

Q. Why did Worf change his hair color? A. It was a good day to dye!Did you know that sea captains don't like crew cuts?I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.

Q. Which barber shop does Bruce Willis visit in Hollywood?
A. Dye Hard.

Q. How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?
A. Put it in a man bun.

Q. Why did the blonde guy like watching the football game at the hair salon?
A. The coverage is the same, but the highlights are better.

Q. Which hair style does an Old West barber recommend for a gunslinger?
A. Bangs.

Don't worry, these hairy man puns aren't permanent; they wash right off!

Q. What do you call promos for movies about barbers or hair stylists?
A. Combing attractions.

Q. How did the first barbers travel to the Americas?
A. On clipper ships.

Q. Why did the bee visit the barber shop?
A. He wanted a buzz cut.

Q. Why did the barber shop close at 2 p.m.?
A. Because work was cut short today.

Q. Which three ways can a man wear his hair?
A. Parted, unparted, or departed.

Q. Why are barbers such good drivers?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.

Q. Where does a locksmith get his hair cut?
A. At ShearLock Homes.

Q. Where does a sheep get a haircut?
A. At the baa baa shop.

Q. What's the worst thing about growing a beard for No Shave November?
A. Hipsters think you're one of them!

Q. Why did the guy grow a beard in November?
A. To prove he wasn't a bald-faced liar.

Q. How is a beard like true love?
A. It never ends ... It only grows!

Q. What do you call a guy with brown hair and a red beard?
A. A Chin-ger.

Another Beard-Vember Groan: I really mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.

Q. What kind of facial hair does the hipster ghost at the haunted house have?
A. A soul patch.

Q. Why did the barber win the race? A. Because he took a short cut!Hair club for gnomes: Before and AfterDid you hear about the frugal barber? He opened a shavings account!

Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He prefers to cut them short.

Q. What is one of the primary courses at barber college?
A. Cutting class.

Q. What do they call a bad haircut in Stockholm?
A. Swede sorrow.

Q. Where do Mafia goons get their hair cut?
A. The Godbarber.

Q. Where does the town crier get his hair cut?
A. At Comb One Comb All.

Hope this hair pun was a cut above the rest!

Q. Do old execs at Hair Club for Men ever die?
A. No, they just keep plugging away.

Q. What do small hair pieces call the owner of the Hair Club for Men?
A. The big wig.

Baldness Factoid: Comments about receding hair lines tend to wear a bit thin, except to the owner of Hair Club for Men.

Q. Where is the best place to get a toupee in Shanghai, China?
A. The Hair Club for Min.

Q. What do you call the wealthy online toupee store entreprenuer?
A. A million-hair.

Q. Why doesn't the barber ever shave a man with a wooden leg?
A. Because he uses a razor.

Q. Why did the cops question the barber again?
A. He had a knack for getting into hairy situations.

Q. What does a hairy man say to somebody who tells him that he really needs to trim his eyebrows?
A. That’s none of your bushiness!

Q. What did the waiter at the Italian restaurant say when he caught the bald guy puling a dine and dash?
A. You need a toupee.

Q. Which side of a Wookiee has the most hair? A. The Outside!

Q. What's the
name of the
barber shop
gamblers like
the best?

A. Heads
You Win

Eddy Munster Says: Mommy, everybody says I look like a werewolf? Oh, sit down and comb your face!

Q. What does Elmer Fudd call it when Bugs Bunny is really harassing him about being bald?
A. Having a bad hare day!

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep it in?
Doctor: How about a cardboard box?

Q. Which kind of writing tool has no hair?
A. A bald-point pen.

Q. Which Washington barber shop does the President patronize?
A. Hairforce One. (That explains a lot!)

Q. Where might a man's man get a haircut and more in Las Vegas
A. The Best Little Hair House.

Q. What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward out back or the barber shop?
A. A receding hare line.

Barbershop Tip of the Day: Bad hair is an un-be-combin' sight.

Q. What happened when armed robbers hit the corner barber shop?
A. It was a very hairy situation, but nobody wigged out.

A guy walks into a bar with a bunny on his face. Bartender ask, "What's that?" Guy replies, "Just a little faciall hare."

Q. How did the young lad feel about his first haircut?
A. He didn't like it at first, but then it grew on him.

Q. Which bruin barber shop quartet singer sings the low notes?
A. The bear-i-tone.

I heard a great barber shop pun, but I'm gonna shave it for later...

Q. Why don't
bald men
need keys?

A. Because
lost all their

Barber: Oops, sorry! I just cut your chim!. Vampire: It's ok, it's not my blood!

Q. What do
you get if
you cross a tornado and
a toupee?

A. A

Q. What does your barber call a bad comb-over?
A. Hair-layer-ious!

Did you hear about the guy whose hairline was so far back that even archaeologists couldn't find it?

Q. What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. Gee thanks, I'll never part with it.

Q. Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.

Q. Why do bald men always have holes in their pockets?
A. So they can run their fingers through their hair!

Q. Why don't bald guys wearing toupees get hot during the summer?
A. Because they use hair conditioners

Q. What did the vain guy do when he lost the last of his hair?
A. He bawled.

Q. Which Boston barber shop lost so many customers that it had to close?
A. Jack the Clipper.

Q. What is it called when an office worker steals the CEO's toupee?
A. A bald move.

Q. What did Shakespeare write about male pattern baldness?
A. Toupee or not toupee. That is the question.

Follicle Fact of the Day: It's a fact that you can't count your hair. And, bald men will tell you that you can't count on your hair, either.

Q. Why did the bald guy go to drug rehab?
A. He had a serius hair-oin addiction.

Diner Customer: Waiter, there is a hair in my soup.
Waiter: Sir, for $1.99, did you expect the chef's whole toupee?

Q. Why did the struggling mall hair salon fire the barber?
A. They were forced to to some crew cuts.

Q. What do you call a stickler boss who doesn't allow beards or mustaches in the workplace?
A. A shave driver.

Q. How much did the bald guy expect a cheap hair piece to cost?
A. He wanted toupee faux dollars.

Q. What do you call an expensive toupee that's held on with Velcro?
A. A real rip off!

Q. What happens when a kidnapper absconds with a cheap rug?
A. You'll have toupee a heady ransom to get it back.

Q. Why are bald monks forbidden from wearing hair pieces?
A. Becaus there'd be hell toupee.

Q. What is a bald guy wearing a dumb toupee called?
A. A hair brain.

Q. Why should you shave you head before committing an evil act?
A. If you're going to sin, you might as well sin baldly.

Heady Cover Up Tip of the Day: There's a new online ad for $24.99 hair pieces. Now that's a small price toupee!

| Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor | Fashion Jokes, Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns | Sock Jokes, Hosiery Puns | Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion | Shirt Jokes | Perfume Puns | Salesman Jokes |
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| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
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