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Barber
Jokes, Hairy Man Humor, Beard Puns
Comb
over for barbershop puns, hairpiece humor, bad rug burns, bald LOLs and
clip joint jokes.
Men's
Hair Jokes, Bald Puns, Toupee Humor
(Because Receeding Hairline
Jokes and Bald Guy Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream
at the Hair Club for Men!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! jokes, man bun humor, close shaves and deadly
funny hell toupee puns ahead.
| Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad
Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Wig
Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns
| Blonde Jokes | 2
| Hipster Jokes | Hipster
Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Shirt
Jokes | Pants Jokes | Sock
Puns | Shoe Jokes |
Fashion Jokes |
Q.
What did the man, who usually wore a toupee, do when he
wanted to relax?
A. He just let his hair down.
Q.
Why doesn't The Hulk need to style his hair?
A. Because it lays perfectly still out of sheer terror.
Q.
What did the blonde hair stylish say when the balding man
said he wanted a hair cut?
A. Which one?
Q.
What is the optimal true definition of a toupee?
A. A top secret!
Q.
How do we know hair brushes like these painful hair puns.
A. They keep combing back! |
Q.
What do you call several men waiting in line for a haircut?
A. A barber-cue.
Q.
What did the barber do after the fire at the barbershop?
A. He combed through the ashes.
Q.
Which barber shop did the sarcastic comedian prefer?
A. Cutting Remarks.
Q.
What is the difference between a circus master and Caesar's
barber?
A. One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.
Ancient
Aliens Point to Ponder: Could it be possible that alien
barbers abduct Giorgio Tsoukalos while he's asleep to style
his hair? |
Q.
What do you call a pricey barber shop?
A. A clip joint.
Q.
Where can you get a scary good hair cut in Estes Park, Colorado?
A. At Hair's Johnny Salon in the Stanley Hotel.
Q.
Which barber shop has a tie-died barber's pole?
A. The Grateful Head.
Did
you hear about the big fight at the barber shop? It was
a very hairy situation.
Q.
Which barber shop is haunted by ghosts?
A. The Great Hair After.
Funny
elderly barbers never die. They just become old cut-ups.
|
Q.
Which barber shop does Bruce Willis visit in Hollywood?
A. Dye Hard.
Q.
How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?
A. Put it in a man bun.
Q.
Why did the blonde guy like watching the football game at
the hair salon?
A. The coverage is the same, but the highlights are better.
Q.
Which hair style does an Old West barber recommend for a
gunslinger?
A. Bangs.
Don't
worry, these hairy man puns aren't permanent; they wash
right off!
Q.
What do you call promos for movies about barbers or hair
stylists?
A. Combing attractions. |
Q.
How did the first barbers travel to the Americas?
A. On clipper ships.
Q.
Why did the bee visit the barber shop?
A. He wanted a buzz cut.
Q.
Why did the barber shop close at 2 p.m.?
A. Because work was cut short today.
Q.
Which three ways can a man wear his hair?
A. Parted, unparted, or departed.
Q.
Why are barbers such good drivers?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.
Q.
Where does a locksmith get his hair cut?
A. At ShearLock Homes.
Q.
Where does a sheep get a haircut?
A. At the baa baa shop.
|
Q.
What's the worst thing about growing a beard for No Shave
November?
A. Hipsters think you're one of them!
Q.
Why did the guy grow a beard in November?
A. To prove he wasn't a bald-faced liar.
Q.
How is a beard like true love?
A. It never ends ... It only grows!
Q.
What do you call a guy with brown hair and a red beard?
A. A Chin-ger.
Another
Beard-Vember Groan: I really mustache you a question, but
I'll shave it for later.
Q.
What kind of facial hair does the hipster ghost at the haunted
house have?
A. A soul patch. |
Q.
How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He prefers to cut them short.
Q.
What is one of the primary courses at barber college?
A. Cutting class.
Q.
What do they call a bad haircut in Stockholm?
A. Swede sorrow.
Q.
Where do Mafia goons get their hair cut?
A. The Godbarber.
Q.
Where does the town crier get his hair cut?
A. At Comb One Comb All.
Hope
this hair pun was a cut above the rest! |
Q.
Do old execs at Hair Club for Men ever die?
A. No, they just keep plugging away.
Q.
What do small hair pieces call the owner of the Hair Club
for Men?
A. The big wig.
Baldness
Factoid: Comments about receding hair lines tend to wear
a bit thin, except to the owner of Hair Club for Men.
Q.
Where is the best place to get a toupee in Shanghai, China?
A. The Hair Club for Min.
Q.
What do you call the wealthy online toupee store entreprenuer?
A. A million-hair.
|
Q.
Why doesn't the barber ever shave a man with a wooden leg?
A. Because he uses a razor.
Q.
Why did the cops question the barber again?
A. He had a knack for getting into hairy situations.
Q.
What does a hairy man say to somebody who tells him that
he really needs to trim his eyebrows?
A. That’s none of your bushiness!
Q.
What did the waiter at the Italian restaurant say when he
caught the bald guy puling a dine and dash?
A. You need a toupee. |
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|
Q.
What's the
name of the
barber shop
gamblers like
the best?
A.
Heads
You Win.
|
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|
Q.
What does Elmer Fudd call it when Bugs Bunny is really harassing
him about being bald?
A. Having a bad hare day!
Patient:
My hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep
it in?
Doctor: How about a cardboard box?
Q.
Which kind of writing tool has no hair?
A. A bald-point pen.
Q.
Which Washington barber shop does the President patronize?
A. Hairforce One. (That explains a lot!) |
Q.
Where might a man's man get a haircut and more in Las Vegas
A. The Best Little Hair House.
Q.
What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward out
back or the barber shop?
A. A receding hare line.
Barbershop
Tip of the Day: Bad hair is an un-be-combin' sight.
Q.
What happened when armed robbers hit the corner barber shop?
A. It was a very hairy situation, but nobody wigged out.
|
A
guy walks into a bar with a bunny on his face. Bartender
ask, "What's that?" Guy replies, "Just a little faciall
hare."
Q.
How did the young lad feel about his first haircut?
A. He didn't like it at first, but then it grew on him.
Q.
Which bruin barber shop quartet singer sings the low notes?
A. The bear-i-tone.
I
heard a great barber shop pun, but I'm gonna shave it
for later... |
Q.
Why don't
bald men
need keys?
A.
Because
they've
lost all their
locks.
|
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|
|
Q.
What do
you get if
you cross a tornado and
a toupee?
A.
A
hair-icane.
|
Q.
What does your barber call a bad comb-over?
A. Hair-layer-ious!
Did
you hear about the guy whose hairline was so far back that
even archaeologists couldn't find it?
Q.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. Gee thanks, I'll never part with it.
Q.
Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.
Q.
Why do bald men always have holes in their pockets?
A. So they can run their fingers through their hair!
Q.
Why don't bald guys wearing toupees get hot during the summer?
A. Because they use hair conditioners
Q.
What did the vain guy do when he lost the last of his hair?
A. He bawled. |
Q.
Which Boston barber shop lost so many customers that it
had to close?
A. Jack the Clipper.
Q.
What is it called when an office worker steals the CEO's
toupee?
A. A bald move.
Q.
What did Shakespeare write about male pattern baldness?
A. Toupee or not toupee. That is the question.
Follicle
Fact of the Day: It's a fact that you can't count your hair.
And, bald men will tell you that you can't count on
your hair, either.
Q.
Why did the bald guy go to drug rehab?
A. He had a serius hair-oin addiction.
Diner
Customer: Waiter, there is a hair in my soup.
Waiter: Sir, for $1.99, did you expect the chef's whole
toupee?
Q.
Why did the struggling mall hair salon fire the barber?
A. They were forced to to some crew cuts.
Q.
What do you call a stickler boss who doesn't allow beards
or mustaches in the workplace?
A. A shave driver.
|
Q.
How much did the bald guy expect a cheap hair piece to cost?
A. He wanted toupee faux dollars.
Q.
What do you call an expensive toupee that's held on with
Velcro?
A. A real rip off!
Q.
What happens when a kidnapper absconds with a cheap rug?
A. You'll have toupee a heady ransom to get it back.
Q.
Why are bald monks forbidden from wearing hair pieces?
A. Becaus there'd be hell toupee.
Q.
What is a bald guy wearing a dumb toupee called?
A. A hair brain.
Q.
Why should you shave you head before committing an evil
act?
A. If you're going to sin, you might as well sin baldly.
Heady
Cover Up Tip of the Day: There's a new online ad for $24.99
hair pieces. Now that's a small price toupee! |
|
Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad
Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Wig
Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns
| Blonde Jokes | 2
| Hipster Jokes | Hipster
Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Pants
Jokes, Trouser Humor | Fashion Jokes,
Clothing Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns | Sock
Jokes, Hosiery Puns | Women's Fashion,
Ladies Apparel Puns |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado
Fashion | Shirt Jokes | Perfume
Puns | Salesman Jokes |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns,
and Brief Laughs | Eyeglasses Humor
| Furniture Jokes |
| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store
Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store
Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily
Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful
Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel
Jokes |
You've
headed down this far, so here's
a short cut to more growing
laughter,
cutting edge jokes and piece-ful
painful puns you'll want to comb
through:
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More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
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Banker Jokes | Beer
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cowboy
Jokes | Dating Jokes | Klingon
Jokes | Male Body Jokes |
| Manly Man Jokes | Moon
Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police
Puns | Redneck Jokes | Religion
Jokes | Running Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal
Puns | Sports Jokes | Superman
Jokes | Turf Puns | Vampire
Jokes | Werewolf Jokes |
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