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Q. Why did a woman yeall "head for the heels" at her favorite shoe store? A. Because she loved elevating footware!
Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A. To get to the second hand shop!

Q. Why did Batman take Wonder Woman to a used car dealership? A. To use her lasso of truth on the salesman!
At the supermarket, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode, so I ased: "Are You Two An Item?"


Shopping Jokes, Store Puns, Market Humor
Hit the Target with Costco puns, Home Depot humor, Sam's Club LOLs and Dollar Store jokes.

Store Jokes, Shop Puns, Boutique Humor
(Because Super Store Jokes, Sale Humor, and Pot Shop Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If Your Basket is Full!)
Warning: Spend with Caution! Big box store jokes, storied humor, shop talk and lots of bulk buying puns ahead.
| Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Salesman Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Hat Humor | Shirt Jokes | Pants Jokes |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes | Sock Puns | Colorado Fashion Jokes |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, Brief Laughs | Eyeglasses Puns |

Did you hear about the grand opening of the new shoe store? TV news crews got a lot of footage!Q. Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A. Somebody told him he was ripped!Notice outside the supermarket: Chicken Soup Is Out Of Stock!

Guy walks into a book store and asks where the Self-Help books are. Clerk says, "Sure, but that would defeat the purpose."

Q. Why did the online bra store have so many bad reviews?
A. There were many complaints about poor customer support.

Q. What is the name of the new lingerie store for plus size women called?
A. King Thongs.

Lingerie Store Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra? 'Cause I see a perky set.

Q. Where does Star Trek's Mr. Worf go shopping for new footwear?
A. Kahless ShoeSource.

Q. Where do Colorado Bigfoots and the Denver Nuggets shop for stylish men's clothing?
A. Kaufman's Big and Tall in Englewood.

Q. Why did Santa take 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A. What he was buying cost around 20 bucks, but he thought it wise to bring along some extra doe.

Q. What do you call it when David Banner goes shopping at Costco?
A. The Incredible Bulk!

Q. What happened when The Hulk walked into an IKEA store?
A. The Avengers Assembled!

Q. What do you call it when Bruce Banner goes shopping at Sam's Club?
A. The Incredible Hoard!

A shopper at Target tried to buy one of those divider sticks, but the checkout clerk kept putting it back.

Q. Which big discount chain is similar to American schools?
A. Target.

Q. What is the name of the new pot shop that's right across the street from the gym?
A. Lazy Daze.

Cashier at Costco: You wanna box for those?
Customer: No, but I'll race you.

Q. How many convenience store clerks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seriously? They won't even change a five-dollar bill.

Q. Why did the blonde have 12 carts at the grocery store?
A. She didn't want to put all her eggs in one basket.

Q. Why do grocery store workers ask shoppers if they want paper or plastic?
A. 'Cause baggers can't be choosers.

Q. Why did the frugal chef go to so many stores to find the best prices for herbs?
A. He thought it was thyme well spent.

Q. Why did the lonely bachelor feel so great after leaving the grocery store?
A. 'Cause a hot woman there was checking him out.

Q. What do you call the guy who buys out all the toilet paper at the grocery store?
A. A shithead.

Q. What happened to the guy who went to the grocery store to buy some beer in 2020?
A. He came home with a case of Corona.

Q. Which big box retail store suffers the most shootings?
A. You'd think it's Target, but Walmart is preferred by 9 out of 10 rednecks and mental patients.

Q. What do you call the security guards who work at Samsung stores? A. Guardians of the Galaxy!A pet store had a bird contest, with no perches necessary.Q. Why did the pirate cross the road? A. To reach the second hand shop!

I accidentally farted in the Apple Store and everybody was there was fairly offput. Hey, it's not my fault they don't have Windows there...

Ringing Fact of the Day: Sorry, Taco Bell is not a cell phone store.

Q. What do you call a bald spot on a salesman at the cell phone store?
A. A gap in coverage.

Q. What happened after all the board games were stolen from the toy store?
A. The police are still looking for Clues.

Q. Why did Darth Vader go to the music store?
A. To find the hidden rebel bass.

Did you hear about the guy whose watch batteries died? He wound up at a clock shop!

Q. Who is the Guardian of the Galaxy?
A. The night watchman at the Samsung store.

Q. How many pawn brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Joking around is not at all funny to them.

Q. What happened when the new Lego store had its grand opening?
A. Shoppers were lined up for blocks.

Q. Where is a great place to get fast cash for all the shrimp you don't need?
A. At the Prawn Shop.

Q. What does a dog do if he loses his tail?
A. He goes to the retail store.

Q. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public toilet?
A. Urine Luck.

Q. What is it called when a bodybuilder bench presses an entire 7-Eleven?
A. Shoplifting.

Stinking Funny Point to Ponder: When taking a test to become a perfume shop's cologne sniffer, does smelling count?

Q. Why did the snake rob a pawn shop?
A. 'Cause it wanted its diamondback.

Cents-Less Crime of the Day: People who rob banks and jewelry stores are pretty bad. But, thieves who rob bakeries really take the cake!

Q. What did the sailor say when he finally came across a coin shop that sold nickels?
A. Alloy There!

Q. Which toy store is guaranteed to have something that'll make you laugh?
A. LMFAO Schwartz.

A blonde guy saw a sign on the corner by the pawn shop that read, "Watch for Children." So, he thought, "That sounds like a fair trade."

Q. What did the boat store call a big discount?
A. A two-for-one sail!

Q. Why did the couple who owned a trampoline store get a divorce?
A. Because their relationship had its ups and downs.

Q. What is it called if your surreptitiously pocket a pushpin out of an office supply store?
A. Sneak a tack.

Q. What can you say to that maniac at the department store who wants to spray you with cheap French toilet water?
A. Eau No!

Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!Did you hear about the online origami store? If folded...Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. 5280 Pot Shops!

Q. What is the most expensive item at the dollar store?
A. The condoms. OUCH!

Q. Where do you go shopping for really expensive junk?
A. The Hundred Dollar Store.

Q. What is 50 Cent's least favorite place to shop?
A. The dollar store.

Furniture Store Pick-Up Line: Baby, give me the couch 'cause I need some sectional healing.

Q. Why did the cops detain the mattress store delivery truck driver that sped by?
A. Because he could blow their cover.

Q. Where did the Turk shop for a stylish footstool?
A. The Ottoman Empire.

Mile High 420 Quip: Whoever said, "Money Can't Buy Happiness," clearly has not visited a Colorado pot shop.

Q. What is the name of the pot shop on top of Lookout Mountain?
A. Higher Expectations.

Q. What were the developer's plans for the run-down corner market they just purchased?
A. They wanted to re-store it.

Q. Where are rubber snakes located at the toy store?
A. In the rept-aisle.

Q. Why did the hot blonde guy go to his local hardware store's website?
A. He heard they had a lot of fans.

Q. Why did the new online discount glasses store go viral and become so profitable?
A. Because the eye-deal-ist owners saw the potential.

Q. Why don't felines ever shop at online stores?
A. The prefer to use a cat-alog.

Q. Why was the new eye glasses shop so profitable and popular?
A. Because the optician was a keen eye-deal-ist.

Q. What did the apathetic Aussie guy say when his wife wanted him to assemble new DIY furniture from a chain store?
A. Does it look like IKEA?

Q. Why did the guy go to the home furnishings store called "Hooker Furniture?
A. He was looking for one nightstand.

Q. Back in the day at the video store, what was the guy told when he asked to rent Batman Forever?
A. No, you have to bring it back on Thursday.

Q. What do you call life-sized female store window dummies?
A. Wo-mannequins.

Q. Why don't they sell stuffed animal zebras at the toy store?
A. 'Cause it's too hard to find the bar code at checkout.

Q. Which pot shop does Bruce Banner frequent when filming in Colorado's high country?
A. The Green Room.

Q. Which Colorado edibles shop also carries CBD oil infused craft beer?
A. The Reefinery.

Q. What is the name of the new pot shop that also sells sexy undies?
A. Bud Naked.

Q. What did Mr. White name his new green edibles shop?
A. Breaking Bud.

Q. What did the cheesy pop vocalist name his new pot shop?
A. One Hit Wonder.

Q. What did Bruce Banner name his new pot shop in Boulder, Colorado?
A. One Hit Wonder.

Q. Which pot shop do movie stars frequent when filming in Colorado's high country?
A. The Green Room.

Q. Which Colorado pot shop do tourists frequent when visiting Breckenridge?
A. Higher Elevations.

Q. What happened when the boutique perfume store was robbed?
A. The stinking theives took every last scent.

Q. Who did the toy store call when all of their real estate board games were stolen?
A. Monopolice.

Food Pun: I went to the store to buy some soup but, they were out of stock.Thieves were planning to rob the pot shop, but they had to case the joint first!I Just Got Garden Supplies at Gnome Depot.

Q. Which grocery store section is exclusively for young people?
A. The juvenile.

Q. Why should you feel sorry for shopping carts?
A. 'Cause they're always being pushed around.

Q. What did the grocery store do with an old inventory of Coke, PepsiSprite and Dr. Pepper?
A. Liquidate it.

Q. What happens when two grocery store deli counter workers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Q. What do you call it when a grocery store only sells soda pop in bottles?
A. Totally un-canny.

Q. Which kind of store has 24-hour police protection?
A. Donut shops.

Q. Why did the guy go to the store to buy a signal light?
A. He wanted to bring home the beacon.

Corny Point to Ponder: When you come across sweet corn on sale at the grocery store for $1 each, is that a bucaneer sale?

Q. With fewer and fewer shoppers, how was business at the indoor shopping center?
A. Dis-mall.

Q. Where were the Terminator theme toys shelved at Target?
A. Aisle B, back.

Q. What sort of article did West Word publish about the newest pot shop in Denver?
A. A Puff Piece.

Q. Why did the Incredible Green Hulk cross the road to get to Colorado?
A. To get to the recreational marijuana store on the other side.

Did you hear about the spaced aliens who were planning to rob a Colorado pot shop? First, they had to case the joint.

Q. Why is the new rare cannabis strain so pricey at the Boulder pot shop?
A. 'Cause it's in high demand!

Q. How do stoners always know which way to go to get to the nearest pot shop?
A. There're lots of Indica-tors along the way.

According to a recent poll, 91% of Coloradans are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest pot shop is?

Q. What is the name of the greenest pot shop in the Denver area?
A. The Releaf Center.

Colorado Cannabis Point to Ponder: Why isn't there a network sitcom or even a cable reality show about a Denver pot shop?

Q. Where did the Supersaurus go shopping?
A. The dino-store.

Q. Why couldn't the toy store have the guy who tore all the arms off the teddy bears arrested?
A. 'Cause the cops said he had the right to bear arms.

Q. Why did the gardener leave Home Depot without buying a new shovel?
A. Because he simply didn't have enough cabbage.

Q. Why did the blonde buy a tiny hot habanero pepper plant?
A. She wanted to spice up her backyard garden decor.

Q. Why should you go to the paint store if your on a diet?
A. You can get thinner there!

More and more housewares stores are selling larger butter knives these days. They're really becoming widespread.

Q. What happens if you argue with the salesman at the kitchen furniture store?
A. He offers a lot of counter arguments.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Can a one-armed man buy clothing a second hand store?

Q. Why was the garden gnome fired from his cashier job at Gnome Depot?
A. 'Cause he was always a little short.

Q. Why is Wonder Woman's eye makeup always so alluring?
A. Because she's from Themyscira and Maybelline has an outlet store there.

Sign at the Dollar Store:
Free Yoyos. No Strings Attached

Sign at the Toy Store:
Please don't feed the animals.
They're akready stuffed

| Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Salesman Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion | Shirt Jokes |
| Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 | Hat Jokes, Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns | Sock Jokes, Hosiery Puns |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, and Brief Laughs | Perfume Humor | Eyeglasses Jokes |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel Jokes |

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