Gnome Shoes, Gnome Shirt, Gnome Service! - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. Why is Superman's
so tight?

A. 'Cause it's
a size S.

Gnirl, you have the right to bear me in your arms!

Q. Why are military
dress codes
so strict

A. To minimize
casual tees.

Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!


Jacket Jokes, T-Shirt Puns, Vest LOLs, Coat Humor
Top off your day with parka puns, blouse humor, ugly sweater grins and leather jacket jokes.

Shirt Jokes, Sweater Puns, Tank Top Humor
(Because Long-Sleeved Jokes and Sleeveless Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You've Lost Your Shirt!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Jersey jokes, red shirt humor, short sleeve laughs and blouse-y puns ahead.
| Shirt Jokes | Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion Jokes | Perfume Puns | Smelly Jokes |
| Sock Jokes, Hosiery Puns | Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns | Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns |
| Hat Jokes, Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor | Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns | Scary Fashion Puns | Eyeglasses LOLs | Furniture Jokes |

Q. What did the fashion police say to his sweater? A. Do you know why I pulled you over?

Q. What
a psychic

A. Medium.

Spock Says: Live long and prosper, and don't wear a red shirt!

Q. Why are there so few good casual shirt jokes?
A. 'Cause most of them go right over your head.

Q. What happens if your house is robbed and the dirty crooks took a third of your shirts?
A. You're left with shit.

Q. Why does Waldo always wear a striped long-sleeved shirt?
A. So he won't be spotted!

Q. What is the trendy shoe company calling their new all-rubber shirt?
A. A Croc Top.

Q. Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. How can you tell you've had a decent game of strip poker?
A. You didn't lose your shirt!

Q. Why did the wet T-shirt feel so betrayed after the contest?
A. 'Cause it was hung out to dry.

Q. What is it called when you wear a cowboy shirt and a bolo tie?
A. Ranch Dressing!

Q. Why did the redneck bodybuilder wear a sleeveless shirt to the gym?
A. He wanted to exercise his right to bear arms.

Q. What's the proper undercover attire for detaining a redneck perp?
A. A holding tank.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You're afraid to wear a red shirt!

Q. How many Red Shirts does it take to change a light bulb?
A. At least two. One to replace the bulb, and at least one to be killed off in the dark.

Q. Why didn't the Enterprise's red shirt chicken cross the road?
A. She had a few lines in upcoming episodes.

Q. Why do you have to separate red shirts in the laundry?
A. 'Cause red shirts die so easily!

A Red Shirt and a Strom Trooper get into a fire fight in a hallway. The Storm Trooper missed every shot, but the Red Shirt died anyway...

Q. What did Bruce Banner
say to
his alter ego?

A. Dude,
please keep
your shirt on

You might be from Colorado if you grew up planning your Halloween costume around your parka!

Q. Why was
the barista
fired from the
coffee shop?

A. She wore
a tea shirt.

Q. Why shouldn't you buy a designer shirt from The Incredible Hulk?
A. Because it's obviously a rip-off!

Q. Why doesn't Bruce Banner wear designer shirts?
A. Because The Hulk won't go commercial.

Listing on eBay: "For Sale. Incredible Hulk T-shirt. Usual wear and tear."

Q. Why does The Hulk hate Painful green Puns?
A. Because they make him laugh his shirt off and then he's not angry anymore!

Q. Which superhero wears a long-sleeved belted robe instead of a cape?
A. Caftan Marvel.

Q. What do pirates wear when vacationing in the Colorado Rockies?
A. PaRRRkas.

Q. Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
A. She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.

Q. Which kind of jacket do natives wear when hiking in the Colorado Rockies?
A. A trail blazer.

Colorado Great Outdoors Point to Ponder: If you leave your jacket outside with a packet of seeds in the pocket and it starts to rain, would you get a chia coat?

Q. What kind of coat does an underwater undercover octopus wear?
A. An Army Jacket!

When the guy said his old T-shirt still fit him, it was a bit of a stretch.

Q. What happened after the explosion in the shirt department at the Gap?
A. There were many casual tees.

Q. Why did the corporate stuffed shirt pass out while he was shopping for casual Friday attire?
A. We don't have the faintest idea…

Fashion Pick-Up Line: Did you get that silk blouse on sale? 'Cause they're 100% off at my place.

Q. Where do NFL football players go when they need a new uniform shirt?
A. New Jersey.

Red Shirts to Kirk: Yes Sir. We're reddy!

Q. What do
you call
a business
jacket that's
on fire?

A. A blazer.

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly button? A. You're under a vest!

Q. Which red shirt is a good loser?
A. The junior officer playing 3-D chess with his captain.

Fashionable Point to Ponder: If you're wearing a corduroy shirt, a corduroy tie, and corduroy pants, do you need a corduroy hat to be a complete Roy?

Q. How can you tell if a guy is an engineer?
A. There are several white short-sleeved dress shirts in his closet.

Bart: Doh! Our new promo T-shirt says, "Don't Halve a Cow, Man!"
Lisa: They really butchered that one.

Q. Why was the blonde wearing a bulletproof vest while using the computer?
A.To protect herself from screen shots. DUH!

Q. What is the proper attire for picking up a series of clues?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. Can bees fly during a torrential Colorado rain storm?
A. Not without their yellow jackets.

Q. Why did the tailor wear two jackets while painting the house?
A. The instructions on the can said to put on two coats.

Q. Why do your redneck neighbors envy you?
A. Your wife has several fur coats, and they're all homemade.

Q. What do well-dressed police wear while taking fingerprints?
A. A dust jacket.

Q. What do you call an crocodile wearing a vest?
A. An in-vest-ti-gator.

Q. What did the pilgrims wear to the first Thanksgiving?
A. A har-vest.

Q. Which kind of sweet does a banker keep in his suit pocket?
A. Invest Mints.

Q. Why were all the shirts just strewn into the guy's closet?
A. 'Cause he had a hanger management problem.

Well-Dressed Point to Ponder: Signs always say, No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. What about pants?

Q. What do
you get
when you
cross a cow
with a goat?

A. A Coat!

Barely legal police pick-up line: Am I wearing a bullet-proof vest? Nah, it's all muscle!

Q. Why did
the jalapeno wear a

A. 'Cause it
was a
little chile

Did you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.

Q. What kind of jacket should you wear while hiking in Colorado and can't find an outhouse?
A. A pee coat.

An investment banker used all of a guy's money to buy a leather jacket and a motorcycle. When the guy asked for it back, the banker told him to sit on it. Sounds like he's running a Fonzi scheme!

Q. What did the dinosaur name her new shirt-making company?
A. Try Sara's Tops.

Q. Which animated deer wore an explosive vest?
A. Bombi.

Q. What is the proper attire for a recreational golfer?
A. A Tee-shirt.

Q. Who issues shirts, vests, and jackets to police officers?
A. The top cop.

Q. What is it called when a guy's wife takes off her shirt and bra in the middle of an argument?
A. A booby trap.

Q. Which well-dressed dinosaur wore a sleeveless jacket?
A. Tyrannosaurus Vest.

Q. What is the dress code at the downtown brothel?
A. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Cervix.

Q. Why didn't the redneck wear long-sleeved shirts?
A. He was demonstrating his right to bare arms.

Q. Which special cloak is worn only while eating a morning meal?
A. A breakfast wrap.

Q. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventory?
A. A tee-totaler. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job.

Fashion Factoid: Ugly Christmas sweaters aren't even supposed to be a joke!

Q. Why did the blonde guy wear a sweater knitted out of Golden Retriever hair?
A. 'Cause he thought he looked quite fetching.

Q. Which kind of shirt does a piece of poop wear?
A. A turd-el-neck.

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Oh gosh Girl, let me help you out of that ugly Christmas sweater.

Q. Why are there only snowmen in Colorado, and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the winter cold without a coat.

Shirty Quote of the Day: My new T-shirt is really baggy. And, I'm nost using that term loosely.

Q. What did the hoodie say to the pair of pants?
A. Wassup britches.

| Shirt Jokes | Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion | Perfume Puns | Salesman Jokes |
| Sock Jokes, Hosiery Puns | Shoe Jokes | Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Scary Clothes |
| Hat Jokes, Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor | Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, Brief LOLs | Eyeglasses Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Bed Puns |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've sized up the grins, so here are even more fits of laughter, jokes that
tank, fully armed humor and shirty painful puns that'll top off your day:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Arm Jokes | Beer Jokes | Bodybuilder Jokes | Coffee Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Gym Jokes |
| Hot Dog Puns | Incredible Hulk Puns | Manly Jokes | Military Jokes | Pepper Puns | Police Puns | Psychic Jokes |
| Red Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Star Trek Jokes | Superman Jokes | Weather Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with FoodPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal JokesPot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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