Chimp asks: What do you call two banana skins? A. A pair of slippers! - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Clothes Jokes, Haute Couture Humor, Pants Puns
Suit up with well-dressed fashion humor, altered puns, high style laughs and fashionable jokes.

Fashion Jokes, Vogue Puns, Clothing Humor
(Because Clever Clothes Closet Fashion Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Those Who Like Looking Sharp!)
Warning: Nudists, Proceed with Caution! Barely suitable humor, fashion jokes, and bra-ly funny puns ahead.
| High Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Fashion Designer Jokes | Hat Puns | Shirt Jokes | Pants Jokes |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes | Sock Jokes | Colorado Fashion Jokes |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns | Scary Fashion Puns | Eyeglasses LOLs | Furniture Jokes |
| Bad Hair Jokes | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns | Hair Salon Humor |

Q. Why is Superman's costume so tight? A. Because it's a size S!Q. How can you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose? A. If she farts, her ankles swell up!Q. What did one hat say to another? A. You stay here. I'll go on a head!

Did you see the sign outside the shop that said: 50% off Trousers? Actually, they were selling shorts!

Q. Why shouldn't tourists buy London Bridge Trousers?
A. Because they keep falling down.

Q. Why did the royal leader complain about his new shoes?
A. Because they were fit for aching!

Q. What is the unanticipated problem with camouflage print clothing?
A. Once you find them to buy them, you can't find them in your closet!

Q. Why did the blonde bring lipstick and eye shadow to class?
A. Because she had a make-up exam.

Q. Why did the blonde love wearing her new bra to the movies?
A. It was great for catching the stray popcorn.

Q. Why did the blonde take her bra off while watching a show at the comedy club?
A. Because she liked to laugh her straps off!

Q. What kind of hat does your leg wear?
A. A knee cap.

Q. What is it called when you wear cowboy clothes?
A. Ranch Dressing!

Q. Where are many fashionable hats designed?
A. Manhattan.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, and I'll just hang around.

Q. What does a cactus wear to a big business meeting?
A. A cac-tie.

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes? A. in case he gets a hole in one!Q. What kind of shoes do spies wear? A. Sneakers!Q. What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball? A. Her Dark Knight Gown!

Q. When are old socks great for golf?
A. When they have 18 holes.

I used to have a couple of funny jokes about socks, but I lost one...

Q. How do you know you've done well at strip poker?
A. You've played your socks off.

Q. What did the dress maker say when pressured about when the gown would be ready?
A. She hemmed and hawed.

Q. What do you call a crocodile wearing a vest?
A. An in-vest-ti-gator.

Q. Who wrote the dress code for P.E. class?
A. Jim Shortz.

Q. What don't we tell Painful Puns about gym socks?
A. Because they would stink!

Q. Why is it so hard to decide which kind of socks to buy?
A. 'Cause they're all so com-pair-able.

Q. How did all the new dress orders have the busy seamstress feeling?
A. All hemmed in.

Q. Why was the mermaid wearing seashells?
A. Because she was too big for B shells.

Q. Which type of underwear do beginner pugilists wear?
A. Amateur Boxers.

Q. Which type of underwear do race horses wear?
A. Short Jockeys.

Q. Why did a woman donate a pair of perfumes to the charity drive? A. She wanted to put in her two scents!You might be from Colorado if ou dress in shorts and flip flops because the weaterh forecast is 50!Q. Where do bananas shop for clothes? A. Banana Republic!

Q. Which type of underwear do tycoons wear?
A. Cash Drawers.

Q. Why did the author become a tailor?
A. He wanted to make an Ernest living the Hemingway.

Q. Why did the tailor lose his job?
A. He didn't make the cut.

Q. How was the new tuxedo rental store designed?
A. It was built to suit.

Cents-Less Point to Ponder: If that dumb guy had a nickel for every time someone said, "look at that asshole!," he'd certainly have enough money to patch up that hole in his pants.

Q. What kind of jacket should you wear while hiking in Colorado?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. How was business at the new big and tall store going?
A. Buy and large, quite well.

Q. Why was the perfectionist tailor always so right on the fit?
A. He had nothing to loose.

Q. What do you call leather that's had its surface completely scraped off?
A. Dis-sueded.

Q. What happened when the guy decided to try on the pants he wore on his wedding day on his 5th wedding anniversary?
A. It was a waist of time.

Q. What happened when the fashion model refused to try on anything?
A. She wore out her welcome.

Q. Why does a pirate wear underwear?
A. To hide his booty!

Q. How much does a pirate pay for his earrings?
A. A buccaneer!

Q. Which kind of socks do pirates wear?
A. Arrrgyles.

A guy was folding his pants, fresh out the drier, and found a dollar in a pocket. His blonde girlfriend walked in and asked, "Beau, how long have you been laundering money?"

Penguin Meme: I used to be a nun, but I was expelled due to dirty habits.Wolf says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!Did you hear about the archer's new cologne? It was arrow-matic!

Q. How do you describe a tailor that won't make clothing for nuns?
A. Non habit forming.

Q. Why did the woman exclusively dress in black?
A. Because her fashion sense was second to nun.

Q. What do penguins wear on their heads?
A. Ice caps.

Q. What do you call it when a jeweler has a few too many finger creations left?
A. A three-ring surplus!

Q. What do you need if your lobe-attached jewelry keeps falling off?
A. An earring aid.

Q. Do old gem cutters ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their sparkle.

Q. What's the difference between a well-dressed man and his dog?
A. One wears a three-piece suit; the other just pants.

Q. What do bitches wear to work?
A. Pant Suits! (ArF-ing Funny!)

Q. What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
A. Jurrasic Bark.

Q. What do you call bovine leather that's been enhanced with metal for added strength?
A. Iron ox-hide.

Q. Do old blue jeans ever die?
A. No, they just fade away.

Q. What does a jeweler call it when he can't decide what to do with a very hard gem?
A. A corundum conundrum. (sapphires and rubies are corundum stones)

Q. What did the perfume company call their new fragrance that captures the very aroma of paradise?
A. Heaven Scent.

Q. What does a lazy tailor say?
A. Suit yourself.

Q. How did the depressed tailor die?
A. Unfortunately, he commited sew-icide.

Old fashion designers might die, but they do go out in style!

Q. Why didn't the redneck wear long-sleeved shirts?
A. He was demonstrating his right to bare arms.

Q. How hard was it for the guy to start the company that manufactures clown shoes?
A. It was no small feet!

| Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 | Hat Jokes, Cap Puns | Pants Jokes, Trouser Humor |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado Fashion | Shirt Jokes | Perfume Puns | Salesman Jokes |
| Women's Fashion, Ladies Apparel Puns | Shoe Jokes | Stocking Jokes | Scary Fashion Puns |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, Brief LOLs | Eyeglasses Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Bed Puns |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Men's Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've panted along this far, so here's even more highly
fashionable humor,
jokes, and closet painful puns to barely suit your style sense:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Big Ape Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Face Jokes | Diet Jokes | Fart Jokes | Green Puns |
| Gym Jokes | Magic Jokes | Musician Jokes | Pizza Puns | Saturday Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor |
| Snotty Jokes | Social Media Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Puns | Surgeon Jokes | Toe Jokes | Wine Jokes |

Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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