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Sh*tty Pun: I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me.
Q. How do electricians become confused? A. They get their wires crossed!
Did you hear about the billboard that's for sale? A. The owner is happy to sign it over!

 


Landlord Humor, Apartment Jokes, Building Puns
Ready to move into funny landlord jokes, skyscraper humor, rented puns, and leased laughs.

Landlord Jokes, Realtor Puns, High-Rise Humor
(Because High-Rise Jokes and Landlord Laughs Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream if You're in a Flooded Basement!)
Warning: Ascend with Caution! Real funny real estate jokes, landlord humor, and uplifting elevator puns ahead.
| Landlord Jokes | Locksmith Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Keyed Up Pick-Up Lines | Tech Support LOLs |
| Contractor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Plumber Puns | Mechanic Jokes | Superhero Jokes |
| Police Puns, Cop Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Criminal Jokes |

Did you hear about the one remaining apartment in the new building? It was last, but not leased!Q. What does a serious collector of classic films own? A. Reel Estate!Q. What do you call a building that's dangerously leaning to one side? A. Real estate listing!

New Construction Point to Ponder: Why is it called a building if it's already built?

Q. What do you call the phobia of over-engineered high-rise buildings?
A. A complex complex complex.

Q. What is the tallest building in the world?
A. The library has the most stories.

Q. What happened when the kid microwaved his toy building blocks?
A. He ended up with Legoo.

Q. What do you call it when a tall Lego structure topples over?
A. Tumbling blocks.

Q. What did the apartment sing to the landlord?
A. Please Re-Lease Me!

A California Highway Patrolman pulled over a speeder and asked for his real estate license. The puzzled driver asked, "Don't you mean driver's license?" The cop replied, "No, not everyone in California has one of those."

Q. What is a landlord's favorite board game?
A. Monopoly.

Q. What do you call the uphill costs associated with maintaining a moving walkway?
A. Escalating expenses.

Q. Why is some southern Louisiana architecture bad?
A. Because it's either new or leans.

Q. What is it called when you're stuck in an elevator?
A. Wrong on so many levels...

Q. Which part of a room is always warmest?
A. They corner. It's always 90 there.

Did you hear about the emotional architect's wedding? Even the cake was in tiers.

Q. Did you hear about the struggling owners of the bed and breakfast?
A. They were inn over their heads.

Q. Which veggie watches over the estate? A. the carrot-taker!Did you hear about the documentary about the history of skyscrapers? It was absolutely riveting!Did you hear about the landlord who refused to sign for tenants' packages? No Acceptions!

Q. What do you need to know to sell vacant land successfully?
A. Lots and lots.

Q. Which kind of building weighs the least?
A. A Lighthouse.

Q. What do you call the study of residential real estate?
A. Homeology.

Old architects never die. They just lose their structure.

Fun Architect Tip: Never use the word veranda as an expletive because it's a porch choice of words.

Q. What do you call it when somebody is contemplating jumping off a skyscraper?
A. A cliffhanger.

Q. What is the best part about elevator jokes?
A. They do really know how to push your buttons.

Old light bulbs never die. They just blink out.

Q. What is the definition of the perfect tenant?
A. The landlord doesn't know your name.

Q. What does a realtor use for birth control?
A. His personality.

Q. What is a landlord?
A. A real estate agent with no sense of humor.

Q. What is a mortgage broker?
A. A realtor with no sense of humor.

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A. I think I'm coming down with something!Q. What do you call the monthly charge for a London Apartment? A. A flat rate!Did you hear about the confusing new apartment building? It was a complex complex!

Q. What is the best part about elevator jokes?
A. They always work on so many levels.

Q. What is the worst part about elevator jokes?
A. They have their ups and downs.

Q. What is the worst part about elevator puns?
A. They're not usually very uplifting.

Q. Why didn't the hipster real estate agent show the Riverside mansion?
A. Because it was too current.

Lift Point to Ponder: Why is the elevator never on the same floor as you?

Q. What do good landlords and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never actually see one.

Q. Why shouldn't you make jokes about Chinese skyscrapers?
A. Because that is so Wong on so many levels.

Q. If a blonde and a redneck jump off a skyscraper who will hit the ground first?
A. The redneck, 'cause the blonde will stop to ask for directions.

Q. What did one wall say to the other?
A. Psst, meet me at the corner.

Recently, a pig invited me to see his new home. Actually, it was quite stylish!Did you hear the jjoke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!Q. How do you get up to actor Costner's apartment? A. You take the stairway to Kevin!

Q. Why do Southerners hate landlords?
A. 'Cause the devil rent down to Georgia.

Q. Why can't those neighbors sell their house?
A. They always leave the sprinklers on, and it's a constant source of irrigation.

Q. How can you tell if you've found a good realtor?
A. He has a mortgage loophole named after him.

Old light bulbs never die, but they do blink out.

Q. What is the difference between a sperm and a realtor?
A. The sperm has a one in a million chance of becoming human.

Q. How many realtors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five, for no particular reason – it's always been that way.

Q. What is the best part about elevator jokes?
A. They always lift you up when you're feeling down.

Q. How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?
A. Tenants.

Q. How do you romance a landlord?
A. With long romantic walks to the bank.

Q. Why do they bury dead landlords 20 feet under?
A. Because deep down, they really are good.

TV News Reporter: Where is the best place to begin the fight against terror?
Blonde Realtor: Haunted houses. Duh!

| Landlord Jokes | Locksmith Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Keyed Up Pick-Up Lines | Tech Support LOLs |
| Contractor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Plumber Puns | Mechanic Jokes | Superhero Jokes |
| Police Puns, Cop Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Criminal Jokes |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
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At leased you've lasted this far, so here's even more
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