Q. What happened to the optician who had the foresight to perform at the comedy club?
A. He made a spectacle of himself!

Q. What did the optician name his new eyewear shop?
A. For Eyes.

Q. What sarcastic nickname did the optician get after he lost his glasses during a long happy hour at the bar?
A. The Light Bender.

Q. What happens when you go to an optimistic optician?
A. He'll tell you your glasses are half full.

Q. Why was the hunky optician so popular with the ladies?
A. Because he had specs appeal!

Q. Why was the new eyeglasses shop so profitable and popular?
A. Because the optician was an eye-deal-ist.

Q. What does a determined optician say about completing his focused task?
A. I'll finish, come hell or eye water!

Q. What happened after the stand-up comedian went to the optician for a new pair of glasses?
A. His observational comedy got much better!

An optician noted that patients come in all the time, embarrassed that they had sat on their glasses. While he readjusts their frames, he wonders if Hindsight really is 20/20?

Q. Why did the optician quit his job?
A. He just got tired of the daily grind.

Q. How does an optician congratulate you?
A. He gives you an eye five.

Q. What did the optician say to the guy who complained about his blurry glasses?
A. If you're going to clean your eyeglasses with a tissue, do it before you blow your nose!

Q. What did the optician say to Superman after fitting his glasses?
A. News Flash! You are Clark Kent!

Q. What did the optician say when the customer asked for a refitting?
A. Eye'd be happy to help you.

Spectacular Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and I frame the beauty within 'cause eye am an optician.

Q. Why did the optician want to go to the beach?
A. He heard there was a lot of eye candy there.

Q. What nickname did the optician get after trying out his comedy act on open mike night?
A. Glass Clown.

Far-Sighted Fact of the Day: Opticians are men of vision!

A lady walked into a shrink's office and announced that she had a screw loose. The blonde receptionist sent her to the optician's office next door.

Q. How does an optician know when eyes are flirting with him?
A. They go: Wink, Wink!

Optician Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you look spectacular!

A guy goes to an optician's office and asks how much glasses cost. The optician told him it varies. The guy said, "Oh, I see clearly..." So, the optician replied, "Well, you don't need them then!"

Blurry Funny Optician Pick Up Line: Hey girl, something must be wrong with my eyes 'cause I simply cannot take them off of you.

Spectacular Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, opticians are men of vision.

Optician: It looks like you need glasses.
Patient: But, I'm wearing glasses.
Optician: Then I must need glasses...

An optician noted that patients come in all the time, embarrassed that they'd sat on their glasses. As he readjusts their frames, he wonders if Hindsight really is 20/20?

Near Sighted Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you an optician? 'Cause you've got specs appeal.

Q. Why do opticians like new electronics and smart appliances so much?
A. Because they're eye tech.

Q. Why was the optician so surprised when he was kicked out of the peripheral vision club?
A. He just didn't see it coming!

Anti Pick-Up an Optician Line: Dude, after a closer look, eye like you even less.

Eye Doctor Visit Point to Ponder: Why does the ophthalmoligist send you next door to the optician to choose new glasses while your eyes are dialated and you can't see worth a damn?

Q. What happened when the optician decided to try stand-up comedy?
A. He made a spectacle of himself.

Q. What does an optician call a possessed corrective lens?
A. A demon-icle.

Colorblind Optician Pick Up Line: Hey babe, no wonder the sky is gray today. All the blue is in your eyes.

Q. How does an optician come up with a rough estimate?
A. He eyeballs it.

Q. What did the determined student say when everybody laughed at him after he said he wanted to be an optician?
A. You'll see, you will all see!

Pick Up an Optician Line: Hey dude, stop undressing me with your eyes. Use your teeth instead!

Q. Why do scarecrows make the best opticians?
A. Because they are outstanding in their field.

Q. What does an optician say after making a faux pas?
A. Eye Bad!

An ophthalmologist, optometrist, and optician walked into a bar. Bartender says, "Wow, I didn't see this joke coming."

Q. How do you know your optician has an outgoing personality?
A. He likes to publically make a spectacle of himself.

Clearly Funny Optician Pick Up Line: Hey baby, your eyes are as blue as glass cleaner.

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