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Optometrist
Puns, Vision Jokes, Eye Humor
Eye
clearly see visions of ophthalmologist humor, eye puns, and far-sighted
jokes in your future!
Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Humor, Eye Puns
('Cause Blurry Vision Jokes
and Fuzzy Puns Are TOO Mainstream and the Best
Prescription is Focused Laughter!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Risk! You'll see eye-ronic jokes, eye
doctor humor, and hum-iris puns ahead.
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns,
Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Grins | Doctor
Jokes | Surgeon Jokes | Psychiatrist
Jokes | Brain Jokes | Face
Jokes |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
Q.
Why do optometrists like PainfulPuns
Eye Doctor Jokes?
A. It's a fun web sight for insiteful humor!
Q.
What did the first-grader say after his first visit to the
eye doctor?
A. I can see, but that guy really can't spell!
Q.
What can make your eyes lonely?
A. Eye-solation!
Eye
Doctor Pick Up Line: Hey
girl, eye see you in my future. |
I
have lost focus sitting here on my posterior chamber. Perhaps
you could lens me some help? Or, would that be outside your
periphery?
Focused
Fact of the Day: Optometrists know how to blur the line
between genius and insanity.
Q.
What should you put on a black eye?
A. An eyes pack!
|
Iris
I could help you, but I lack the vision. Iris is a great
name for an eye doctor! Do people with green eyes enjoy
St. Patricks' Day most?
Q.
Why do criminals on the lam wear dark glasses?
A. To disguise their eye-dentity.
Q.
How did the optometrist greet his new one-eyed pirate patient?
A. Aye Matey! |
Q.
What did the eye doctor say about the last painful eye pun?
A. I just didn't see that one coming!
To
all you master eye jokesters: I'm just a pupil of the trade...
Q.
What is Kindergarten Disease?
A. When you have really small pupils. |
Q.
What do you call an eye doctor who lives on an island in
Alaska?
A. An Optical Aleutian.
Q.
What did the right eye say to the wrong eye?
A. I see you're still left.
Anti
Pick-Up an Optician Line:
Dude, after a closer look, eye like you even less.
|
Q.
Why did the blonde only wear glasses while playing tennis?
A. Because tennis is a non-contact sport!
Q.
What did the blonde say to her contact lenses?
A. I can't take my eyes off of you.
Q.
What did the patch-wearing octogenarian pirate say on his
birthday?
A. Eye'Matey! |
Visionary
Point to Ponder: Can far-sighted psychics see further into
the future?
Focused
Point to Ponder: Do seers with cataracts see a mirky future?
Blurry
Funny Pick Up Line: Hey
girl, something must be wrong with my eyes 'cause I just
can't take them off you. |
Q.
What does an egotist say when he visits the optometrist?
A. I Aye Eye!
Q.
What do the pupils say to their insightful teacher when
the morning bell rings?
A. Good morning, Miss Iris.
Q.
Why did the advanced placement teacher wear sunglasses during
class?
A. Because her students were so bright!
|
Q.
What does a vampire say when an ophthalmologist is his victim?
A. Eye vant to drink your blood.
Q.
Why was the hunky optician so popular with the ladies?
A. He had specs appeal!
Q.
How did the optometrist greet his new pirate patient?
A. Aye, aye! |
Q.
Which computers do eye doctors prefer for their kids and
grandkids?
A. eyeMacs.
Q.
Why is it so hard to find a good eye doctor in Alaska?
A. Because they're all optical Aleutians.
Q.
Why was the cross-eyed teacher fired?
A. Because she couldn't control her pupils. |
Q.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A. Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Q.
What does an eyeball say after making a faux pas?
A. Eye Bad!
Q.
Why are optometrists happy to see drunks?
A. Because everything is a blur.
|
Q.
What kind of pet parrots do eye doctors prefer?
A. M-eye-na Birds.
Q.
Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he was seeing spots.
Q.
What does any eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?
A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough! |
|
Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Eye
Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | Germ
Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist
Jokes | Constipation Jokes
| Diarrhea Jokes | Blood
Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
| Medical Jokes | Shrink
Humor, Psychiatrist Jokes | Addict
Jokes, Rehab Puns | Brain Jokes
| 2 |
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes | Heart
Humor |
| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female
Body Jokes | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast Humor |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Neck Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Mouth Jokes | Hand
Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor | Leg
Jokes | Foot Jokes | Belly
Laughs |
You
haven't seen it all, so here's
more prescription laughter,
blurry jokes,
charted humor and eye-ronic
painful puns that are clearly funny:
|
More
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Puns | Cemetery Jokes |
Chef Jokes | Daily
Groans | Diet Puns | Fitness
Humor |
| Gym Jokes | Lawyer
Jokes | Magician Jokes | Money
Groans | Music Puns | Pick-Up
Lines | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Undead Jokes | Vampire
Puns | Vegan Jokes |
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