Q. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? A. Candy Cornea!   PainfulPuns.com - Sick Puns, Doctor Jokes, Healthy Humor

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Patient: "I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye when I drink coffee!" Eye Doc: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"
It's easy to see these eye puns are painful. As do eye!
Do you ever want to just take off your glasses because you're tired of seeing things?
Q. Why did a pirate marry his eye doctor? A. It was an aye-deal relationship!


Optometrist Puns, Vision Jokes, Eye Humor
Eye clearly see visions of ophthalmologist humor, eye puns, and far-sighted jokes in your future!

Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Humor, Eye Puns
('Cause Blurry Vision Jokes and Fuzzy Puns Are TOO Mainstream and the Best Prescription is Focused Laughter!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! You'll see eye-ronic jokes, eye doctor humor, and hum-iris puns ahead.
| Eye Doctor Jokes, Optometrist Puns, Ophthalmologist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Dentist Grins | Doctor Jokes | Surgeon Jokes | Psychiatrist Jokes | Brain Jokes | Face Jokes |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |

Eye Doctor: "Can you read the bottom line?" Polish Guy: "Read it? Heck, I know that guy!"Q. What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? A. Spocktacles! Q. What does you optometrist say when you don't laugh at his pun? A. Eye will allow it!

Q. Why do optometrists like PainfulPuns Eye Doctor Jokes?
A. It's a fun web sight for insiteful humor!

Q. What did the first-grader say after his first visit to the eye doctor?
A. I can see, but that guy really can't spell!

Q. What can make your eyes lonely?
A. Eye-solation!

Eye Doctor Pick Up Line: Hey girl, eye see you in my future.

I have lost focus sitting here on my posterior chamber. Perhaps you could lens me some help? Or, would that be outside your periphery?

Focused Fact of the Day: Optometrists know how to blur the line between genius and insanity.

Q. What should you put on a black eye?
A. An eyes pack!

Iris I could help you, but I lack the vision. Iris is a great name for an eye doctor! Do people with green eyes enjoy St. Patricks' Day most?

Q. Why do criminals on the lam wear dark glasses?
A. To disguise their eye-dentity.

Q. How did the optometrist greet his new one-eyed pirate patient?
A. Aye Matey!

It's easy to see that these eye puns are painful. Coldly, we do it just to break the eyes!Did you hear about the clever sleuth ophthalmologist? He closed the lid on this case!Q. Where is the eye located? A. Between the H and the J!

Q. What did the eye doctor say about the last painful eye pun?
A. I just didn't see that one coming!

To all you master eye jokesters: I'm just a pupil of the trade...

Q. What is Kindergarten Disease?
A. When you have really small pupils.

Q. What do you call an eye doctor who lives on an island in Alaska?
A. An Optical Aleutian.

Q. What did the right eye say to the wrong eye?
A. I see you're still left.

Anti Pick-Up an Optician Line: Dude, after a closer look, eye like you even less.

Q. Why did the blonde only wear glasses while playing tennis?
A. Because tennis is a non-contact sport!

Q. What did the blonde say to her contact lenses?
A. I can't take my eyes off of you.

Q. What did the patch-wearing octogenarian pirate say on his birthday?
A. Eye'Matey!

I hate when I misplace my glasses becuase I'm forced to walk around looking like I'm suspicious of everything in the room!Q. Where do you send a depressed eye? A. To the low vision center!Q. What happens when you split a prism? A. All the prism-ers escape!

Visionary Point to Ponder: Can far-sighted psychics see further into the future?

Focused Point to Ponder: Do seers with cataracts see a mirky future?

Blurry Funny Pick Up Line: Hey girl, something must be wrong with my eyes 'cause I just can't take them off you.

Q. What does an egotist say when he visits the optometrist?
A. I Aye Eye!

Q. What do the pupils say to their insightful teacher when the morning bell rings?
A. Good morning, Miss Iris.

Q. Why did the advanced placement teacher wear sunglasses during class?
A. Because her students were so bright!

Q. What does a vampire say when an ophthalmologist is his victim?
A. Eye vant to drink your blood.

Q. Why was the hunky optician so popular with the ladies?
A. He had specs appeal!

Q. How did the optometrist greet his new pirate patient?
A. Aye, aye!

I would tell you a Microphthalmos joke, but they are a little cornea!You'd look better if you didn't wear glases... Yeah, you'd look a lot better if I wasn't wearing my glasses!Q. What do you call a blind stag? A. No eye deer!

Q. Which computers do eye doctors prefer for their kids and grandkids?
A. eyeMacs.

Q. Why is it so hard to find a good eye doctor in Alaska?
A. Because they're all optical Aleutians.

Q. Why was the cross-eyed teacher fired?
A. Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A. Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Q. What does an eyeball say after making a faux pas?
A. Eye Bad!

Q. Why are optometrists happy to see drunks?
A. Because everything is a blur.

Q. What kind of pet parrots do eye doctors prefer?
A. M-eye-na Birds.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he was seeing spots.

Q. What does any eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?
A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough!

| Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Eye Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses Jokes, Eyewear Spectacles |
| Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Germ Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist Jokes | Constipation Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Blood Jokes | 2 |
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Dr. Who Jokes |
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You haven't seen it all, so here's more prescription laughter, blurry jokes,
charted humor and eye-ronic painful puns that are clearly funny:

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Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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