Where do you get honey in a graveyard?
A. From a zombee!
What do grave robbers and bad writers have in common?
A. Both create lots of plot-holes.
What do undertakers say at parties?
A. Pass me another cold one.
Halloween Point to Ponder: If yu have sex on October 31,
is it a monster mash, or a graveyard smash?
Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery in Colorado?
A. Info at Bemis Library said it's a poultry-geist.
Why did the guy want his wife to sing at his funeral?
A. So everybody else knows there are worse things than death.
What was etched onto the hypochondriac's headstone?
A. See, I told you I was sick.
Funny Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the Cessna that
crashed into the graveyard? Over 50 bodies have been recovered
so far. Which is odd, considering that it was a four seat
Why did the land developer nix the new cemetery project?
A. Because it was a huge undertaking.
What did the guy think when he saw an advertisement for
A. That's the last thing I'll ever need.
Why didn't the wife like the big rock her husband
gave her for their 20th wedding anniversary?
A. Because it was a headstone!
Why didn't the moon attend the sun's funeral?
A. 'Cause it's not a mourning person.
Which undertaker wrote the book, Planning A Funeral?
A. Mort Chu Aerie.
What happened after a tornado tore through a cemetery in
A. Hundreds turned up dead.
guy walks into a graveyard bar and asks the bartender for
a beer. Bartender replies, "Sorry, we only serve spirits
How did ancient Egyptian grave robbers die?
A. Archaelogists believe it was due to a-sphinx-iation.
Which song did the guy request at his mother-in-law's funeral?
A. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.
What did the press say about the tennis player's funeral?
A. It was an ace service.
Why was the undertaker fired?
A. He made a very grave mistake.
What is a graveyard that's above a layer of sandstone called?