Q. What does Superman put in his beverages? A. Just ice!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. Where do penguins keep their money? A. In a snow bank!
Q. Why did the guy put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What is a snowman's favorite day of the week? A. Freeze Day!
Ape chef says: You might be from Colorado if you fire up the grill after shoveling a foot of snow off the deck!

Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south!
Q. What do snowmen like to eat for lunch? A. Ice-berg-ers!
Penguin Asks: Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In a snow bank!

 


Cold Jokes, Icy Puns, Chill Humor, Frozen Grins
Slide into icy cold jokes, chilly grins, humor on the rocks, cool laughs and just ice puns.

Frigid Jokes, Cool Puns, Ice Cold Humor
(Because Chilly Jokes, Iced Humor, and Slippery Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If Your Beer Isnt Chilled!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Freezing cold jokes, refrigerated humor, chile grins and frigid puns ahead.
| Cold Jokes | Hot Puns | Clean Groaners | Stinking Funny Jokes | Home Sweet Home Humor |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Psychic Puns | Colorful Groans |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe Groans | Underwear Jokes | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |

Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!Q. Do locksmiths hold the key to success? A. No, but they won't be locked out in the cold!Silly bar joke: Q. Why did the bartender put money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!

Q. How do competitor Denver weather forecasters greet each other?
A. With a cold wave!

Q. What do you call it when you’re debating a wild stunt during frigid weather?
A. Cold Feat.

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard in Denver?
A. A cold spell!

Q. What is the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.

Winter Pick-Up Line: It's so cold outside that I'd like to hiber-mate with you!

Donkey Etiquette Pointer of the Day: Burros hate it when you use the term: Freezing My ASS Off!

Q. If H2O is the fomula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A. H2O cubed.

Colorado Camping Tip: If you get cold in your tent, just go stand in the corner because it's always 90º there.

It was so cold in Colorado yesterday that my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cool Winter Pick-Up Line: Do I have a fever, or are you giving me the chills?

Q. Why did the rocker store his guitar up on St. Mary's Glacier in Colorado?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Cold Hard Cash Banking Fact: A guy had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but all his assets were frozen.

Did you hear about the Colorado tourist who got cold while paddling up stream? He lit a fire in his boat, only to discover you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Q. What happened after the power went off at the ice factory?
A. The business went into liquidation.

Q. What does Batman put in his lemonade? A. Just ice!Q. What do you get if you put your radio in the fridge? A. Cool Music!Q. What is Iceman's favorite band? A. Cold Play!

Q. Why is Superman afraid of ICE?
A. Because he's an alien and fears being deported!

Q. Why doesn't Batman like Mr. Freeze?
A. Mr. Freeze always gives him the cold shoulder!

It was so cold in Colorado yesterday that even the politicians stopped blowing hot air.

Cold Bartender Pick-Up Line: Hi Babe, ice to meet you!

A guy came home late after his poker game and saw a note on the refrigerator saying, "This isn't working. I'm going to my mother's house." He opened the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold, so he wasn't sure what she was talking about?

Q. How do polar bears make their beds?
A. With snow blankets and sheets of ice!

Q. What do you get if you cross a refrigerator and a hipster play list?
A. Cool music.

Superman, Batman, The Flash, Aquaman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar and order five Jack Daniels on the rocks. Bartender asked if they'd like coke or a lemon slice with their order. Superman replied, "No thanks, we're the Just Ice League."

Q. What is a frozen banana's favorite song?
A. Yellow by Cold Play.

Captain America Pick-Up Line: Decades on ice left my with a lot of catching up to do, so I'd like to start with you.

Penguin Says: I had an account at the North Pole, but they froze my assets!Q. How did the hipster burn his hand? A. He changed the light bulb before it was cool!Q. What does a pirate say during a snow storm? A. Shiver me timbers!

Q. How do penguins take their bar drinks?
A. On the rocks.

Cold Winter Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, do you live in an igloo? 'Cause you're pretty cool.

Q. How do sheep stay warm during the cold winter?
A. Central bleating.

Q. What condition did the gosling suffer from when the Colorado weather turned cold?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. How did the blonde hipster drown?
A. She ice skated before it was cool.

Customer: Could I have my margarita with light ice?
Blonde Bartender: I'm sorry, all of our ice weighs the same.

Q. What does a snowman take when he's not feeling well?
A. A chill pill.

Ice Cold Winter Pick-Up Line: Babe, black ice isn't the only thing I've fallen for.

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.

Q. How do you make antifreeze?
A. Take away her blanket!

Q. What do you get when you cross an ice cube with a vampire bat?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What does a Colorado Rocky Mountain wear when it gets freezomg cold?
A. An ice cap.

Q. What does Batman put into his cocktails? A. Just ice!Ice Cold Coffee? Cool Beans!Q. What do you call a frozen pickle hanging from the roof? A. An icepickle!

Bar Fly Fact of the Day: The perfect woman is just like vodka ­ transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless.

Q. Why did Catwoman decide not to pursue a date with Mr. Freeze?
A. He gave her the cold shoulder.

Q. What does Bruce Wayne enjoy for dinner on a cold winter's night?
A. A bowl of alpha-bat soup.

Q. Why did the snowman always have cold feet?
A. Because he goes around brrr-footed.

Q. Which kind of doughnuts does cold winter sleet like best?
A. Glazed.

Q. What is a snowman's favorite winter beverage?
A. Iced Tea.

Q. Why don't Colorado 14-er mountains get cold during spring, fall, and winter?
A. Because they wear snow caps.

Q. What do snowladies use on their face during the winter?
A. Cold Cream.

Q. What happened when a huge icicle hit the snowman in the head?
A. It knocked him out cold!

Q. Why did the garden jalapeno put on a sweater?
A. Because it was a little chile.

Q. How do Colorado chefs deal with cold weather?
A. They just turn up the SHU (Scoville Heat Units) in tonight's chile verde!

Q. What do cool snowman eat for dinner?
A. Icebergs with chilly sauce.

Q. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the hull? A. Capain, we are being hailed!Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? A. Frostbite!Beer glass quips: Life and beer are veryy similar. Chill for best results!

Q. What happened when a band of superheroes walked into an organic, Non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free restaurant?
A. They were served just ice.

Q. What does a rapper like in his drinks?
A. Ice Ice Baby.

Q. Which rapper is always cold?
A. Ice Cube.

Q. What does a Rocky Mountain wear when the weather gets snowy and cold?
A. A snow cap.

Q. How do snowmen pay for carrots and coal?
A. Cold, hard cash!

Cold Weather Pick-Up Line: I didn't know I was a snowman, but you're so hot my heart just melted.

Q. What do snowmen call their offspring?
A. Chill-dren.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman with an Arctic Wolf?
A. A Brrr-Grrr.

Q. In Colorado, what is it called when you're stuck in a polar vortex without any beer?
A. Cold sober.

Q. What do beer drinkers and necrophiliacs have in common?
A. Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Sign on craft brew pub: We have beers as cold as your ex's heart.

Q. Why is a six-pack of cold beer better than a woman?
A. Beer doesn't ask silly questions ... and beer understands.

Chimp asks: How are men like coolers? A. Load thm with beer, and you can take them anywhere!Attempting to sell me cold cuts, I get a lot of calls from deli marketers.Q. How are music and slippery ice alike? A. If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat!

Q. How is a cold beer better than a woman?
A. A frigid beer is good!

Beer Troubleshooting: If your feet are wet and cold, the glass is being held at an incorrect angle. Rotate glass so open end points toward ceiling.

Q. How is a can of cold beer better than a woman?
A. You can have a beer in public.

When the bartender asked the patron if he wanted his whiskey without ice, the guy replied, "Sure, that would be neat."

Q. Why did the rock star put his guitar in the refrigerator?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Q. How is an ice cold beer better than a woman?
A. Beer never has a headache.

Q. What do you call a freezing frankfurter at a 4th of July cookout?
A. A chili dog!

Q. Why did the mother Colorado pepper put a parka on the baby pepper?
A. 'Cause he was a little chile.

Q. What is today's Colorado Front Range weather forecast?
A. Chili today, hot tamale.

Q. What did the jalapeno say during the early fall snow storm?
A. I'm a little chile.

Q. How can a cannibal tell when his wife is mad at him?
A. He gets a cold shoulder at dinner time.

Q. How is a can of cold beer better than a woman?
A. A beer doesn't get jealous if you grab another beer.

Q. What did the icy winter road say to the SUV?
A. Wanna go for a spin?

Cold Pick-Up Line: It's only early December, but I'm gonna call you Winter anyway because I know you'll be coming soon.

Q. Why did the miser put all his quarters in the freezer?
A. Because he only wanted cold, hard cash.

Q. What can bite your fingers and nip at your toes, but doesn't have teeth?
A. Frost!

Q. What do you get from cool dairy farms in Alaska?
A. Ice cream.

Cold Hard Cash Banking Fact: A guy had an account with a bank at the North Pole, but all his assets were frozen.

| Cold Jokes | Hot Puns | Clean Groaners | Stinking Funny Jokes | Home Sweet Home Humor |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Psychic Puns | Colorful Groans |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe Groans | Underwear Jokes | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |
| Furniture Jokes | Shopping Jokes | Grocery Store Groaners | Germ Jokes | Weather Jokes |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groans | Light Bulb Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes | Mime Puns |
| Painful Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groaners | Gambling Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've slid down this far, so here's even more cool laughter, icy grins,
frigid humor, cold jokes and slippery slope painful puns to help you chill out:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Batman Puns | Banking Jokes | Beer Jokes | Chile Pepper Puns | Cocktail LOLs | Coffee Jokes | Colorado Jokes |
| Hat Jokes | Ice Cream Jokes | Locksmith Jokes | Music Jokes | Pants Puns | Pickle Puns | Road Trip Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Skiing Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Winter Jokes |

Bartender Puns, Bar HumorPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal JokesPot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.