Q. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? A. Candy Cornea!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? A. Wrap music!
Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween? A. It dampens their spirits!
Q. Which plant likes Halloween the most? A. Bam-Boo!
Q. Why didn't the skeleton like the Halloween candy? A. He just didn't have the stomach for it!
Q. What do you do if 99 zombies surround your home? A. Hope it's Halloween!
The epic battle between the Sleepy Hallow Horseman was coming to a head!

 


Halloween Jokes, Spooky Humor, Haunting Puns
4 out of 5 ghosts haunt our killer Hallowe'en puns, scary All Hallows' Eve humor,
frightful October 31 jokes, creepy All Saints' Eve riddles, and ghoulish Halloween jokes!

Horrifying Puns, Halloween Humor, Scary Jokes
(Because Spooky Jokes, Funny Frights, and Horrifying Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on Halloween!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Killer jokes, scary humor, and deadly puns lie entombed dead ahead.
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Scary Witch Jokes | Monster Humor | Skeleton Jokes | Mummy Puns |
| Ghost Jokes | Cannibal Jokes | Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Drinks | Frightful Food | Scary Fun | Spooky Sports | Frightful Fashion | Scary Dentist |
| Vampire Jokes | Zombie Jokes | Scary Animals | Bat Puns | Bigfoot | Spider Jokes | Clowns |

Q. Wht did one owl say to another? A. Happy Owl-ween!Q. What do birds say on Halloween? A. Twick or Tweet!Q. What do moms dress up as on Halloween? A. Mummies!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghoul and an owl?
A. Something that scares people on Halloween and doesn't give a hoot.

Q. How is a Halloween mosquito like family?
A. Both are very annoying and they carry your blood!

Q. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
A. White pillow cases.

Q. What is a Halloween retreat?
A. A second piece of candy.

Q. How does a scary hag tell time on All Hallows' Eve?
A. She looks at her witch watch.

Q. Which online resource do witches always use before Halloween?
A. Wicca Pedia.

Q. What do you call stolen Halloween candy?
A. Hot Chocolate!

Q. Which Halloween monster chicken is very creepy?
A. The Grim Peeper.

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Vampires hate all the petty winged competitors.

Witch Tip of the Day: Nobody likes spoiled children, so be sure to use airtight containers on Halloween.

Q. What do skeletons give out on Halloween?
A. Spare ribs.

Q. What do social birds hand out on Halloween?
A. Tweets.

Q. How do crafty mummies hide?
A. They wrap with masking tape!

Q. What kind of underwear does a mummy wear on Halloween?
A. Fruit of the Tomb!

Q. What did the mummy say to the Halloween detective?
A. Let's just wrap this case up!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite TV game show on Halloween?
A. Name That Tomb!

Q. What's a ghoul's fave Halloween game?
A. Hide-and-ghost-seek.

Q. Who is the brightest Halloween monster?
A. Frankenshine.

Q. How did the trick-or-treaters feel after eating so much candy? A. Fright-full!Q. What is a ghoul's favorite game on Halloween? A. Hide-and-ghost-seek!Q. Why did the police ticket the ghost on Halloween? A. It didn't have a haunting license!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the Halloween party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. What is a monster's favorite refreshing Halloween party beverage?
A. Demon-ade.

Q. What does a skeleton order for Halloween dinner at a restaurant?
A. Spareribs.

Q. Which day do monsters eat people?
A. ChewsDay!

Q. What kind of appetizers do zombies like at Hallowe'en parties?
A. Finger foods.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that stays out in cold Halloween weather too long?
A. A Numbskull.

Q. Why wouldn't the skeleton eat liver?
A. He didn't have the stomach for it.

Q. Which kind of cleanser do skeletons use to clean the sink on Halloween?
A. Bone-Ami.

Q. Which cheesy pop singer did skeletons groove to decades ago?
A. Bone Jovi.

Q. What do you call zombies that can't run on All Saints' Eve?
A. The Walking Dead!

Q. Why did the policeman let the ghost go on Halloween?
A. He couldn't pin anything on him!

Q. Why did ghosts go to a bar on Halloween?
A. For the boos!

Q. What do monsters eat at October 31 barbeques?
A. Hallo-weenies!

Q. Why did the ghost starch his sheet?
A. He wanted to scare everybody stiff!

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties on October 31?
A. They have no body to dance with!

Herman Munster Says: Happy Boos Day!Q. What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween? A. The Grim Sleeper!Q. Which kind of dog does every vampire own? A. A Bloodhound!

Q. How fast did the monster eat his Halloween lunch?
A. He bolted it down.

Q. What is a flesh-eating monster's favorite society?
A. The Consumers Association.

Q. Which soccer position do monsters play on Halloween?
A. Goulie.

Q. What is very scary and hangs from trees in the jungle?
A. Frankenvines.

Q. What do you call a dumb skeleton that does stupid Halloween video stunts?
A. Bonehead.

Q. What do monsters turn on during the summer while preparing for Halloween?
A. The scare conditioner.

Q. Why do skeletons have low self esteem?
A. They have no body to love.

Q. What do you call a skeleton who won't work on Halloween?
A. Lazy bones.

Q. What song do skeleton criminals listen to on Halloween?
A. Bad to the Bone.

Q. What do skeletons say when they depart on a Halloween journey?
A. Bone Voyage!

Q. What do young female monsters do at Halloween parties?
A. They look for edible bachelors!

Q. Why did the ghosts leave the Halloween party?
A. Because the sheet was about to hit the fan.

Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these bloody funny Halloween puns?
A. These Halloween jokes really do SUCK!

Q. When does a werewolf go to bed early?
A. When he's was dog tired!

Q. Who are a werewolf's cousins?
A. The Whatwolves, Whowolves, and Whenwolves.

Q. Which Halloween monsters hibernate all winter?
A. Bearwolves.

Q. What is the safest place to be during the Halloween zombie apocalypse?
A. The Living Room!

Q. How do monsters decide what to do on Halloween?
A. They look at their horrorscope!

Q. What kind of pants do ghosts wear? A. Boo Jeans!Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner? A. S-Boo-Ghetti!

Q. What did the skeleton say to his ghoul friend on Halloween?
A. I love every bone in your body!

Q. What do you call a cloned skeleton who uses the door bell on Halloween?
A. A dead ringer!

Q. Why did a girl ghost go on a diet on Halloween?
A. She wanted to keep her ghoulish figure.

Q. What happens if a ghost gets lost in the fog on All Hallows Eve?
A. He is mist!

Q. Why did ghosts go to the bar on All Hallows' Eve?
A. For the boos!

Q. Why don't witches wear flat hats on All Hallow's Eve?
A. They see no point to it!

Q. Which ogre writes and recites poetry on Halloween?
A. Shrek Speare.

Q. Where do ghosts and zombies go for some R and R after Halloween?
A. The Eerie Canal.

Q. Which kind of dinosaurs were the first to celebrate Halloween?
A. Treat-Rex.

Did you hear about the monster with eight arms? He said they came in handy, especially on Halloween.

Q. Why don't Halloween jack-o-lanterns like pumpkin pie?
A. 'Cause they're not cannibals.

Q. Why did the jack-o-lantern go to the doctor a week afrer Halloween?
A. It felt really rotten.

Q. Why do pumpkins just sit on the front porch on All Hallows Eve?
A. 'Cause they're too short to ring the doorbell.

Q. How do fall gourds pay for their Halloween costumes?
A. With pumpkin bread.

Q. What did the jack-o-lantern say to the yet-to-be carved pumpkin?
A. Happy Hollowing!

Q. How do you describe decorative Halloween corn?
A. Ear-ie.

Q. What do bratty Daleks do to houses with inferior Halloween treats?
A. Eggsterminate!

Q. Why did the monster take his nose apart?
A. To see what made it run!

Q. How does the Spirit of Halloween stay fit during his off season?
A. By exorcising regularly!

Q. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg on Halloween?
A. A hoblin goblin!

Q. What do they serve at the monster school cafeteria on Halloween?
A. Human beans, broiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes cream.

Q. Which scary Halloween ghost is the best disco dancer?
A. The Boogie Man!

Q. Where does a ghoul mail a Halloween letter?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Do ghosts have fun at Hallowe'en parties?
A. Yes, they have a wail of a time!

Q. What's worse than being a 600-pound witch on Halloween?
A. Being her broom.

Q. Which autumn holiday is a wolf's favorite?
A. Howl-o-ween.

Q. What do you call a lost werewolf that's dressed as a Wookiee on Halloween?
A. Wear-wolf where-wolf.

| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Pumpkin Puns, Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Scary Witch Humor | Monster Jokes | Skeleton Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Mummy Puns | Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | Scary Clown Jokes | Scary Funny |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bat Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | Frog Jokes | Snake Puns | Spider Jokes |
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns, Spooky Drink LOLs | Frightful Food Puns | Scary Party Jokes |
| Scary Sports Jokes | Frightful Fashion Jokes, Scary Clothing Humor | Scary DentistJokes |
| Vampire Jokes | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | Friday the 13th Humor | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor | Cold Puns | Holiday Party Jokes | Daily Jokes |


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| Police Jokes | Rat Puns | Sci-Fi Jokes | Shoe Jokes | Sports Puns | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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