|
Leg
Jokes, Knee Puns, Calf Humor, Leg Day Laughs
Strut
along with long-legged puns, kicking laughs, thigh-high humor and knee-deep
jokes.
Leggy Jokes, Shin-ful Puns, Ankle Humor
('Cause Gam Jokes, Patella
Puns, and Thigh Gap Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
If You're Weak in the Knees!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution or Crutches! Sure-footed jokes, stumbling humor,
and knee-ded puns ahead.
| Leg Jokes | Feet
Jokes | Hand Jokes, Finger Puns
| Heart Humor | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes, Bad Ass Pun
|
| Male Body Jokes | Female
Body Humor | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast LOLs | Belly Laughs |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Mouth Laughs | Neck
Puns | Eye Jokes |
Q.
What do leg day and sex have in common?
A. When done properly, you can't walk for days.
Gym
Rat Pick-Up Line: Word
of the day is: Legs. Wanna go back to my place
and spread the word?
Skiing
Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the Colorado skier
who broke his left arm and left leg in a collision with
a SnoCat? He's all right now. |
A
guy woke up after surgery and screamed, "Doctor, I
can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know,
we had to amputate your arms."
Did
you hear about the Colorado mountain climber who broke his
left arm and left leg? He's all right now.
Q.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A. A hoblin goblin!
|
Q.
How does a guy with a broken knee cap sing when in solitary
pain?
A. A-patella.
Q.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A. A tunee fish.
Pharmacy
Chat Up Line: Hey babe,
do you have an Ace bandage? 'Cause when you walked by, I
got weak in the knees.
He
was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic –
he got up on one knee. |
Q.
Why did the light-footed cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
A. He wanted to bust a move.
Q.
What does your auto mechanic do when he stubs his big toe?
A. He calls a big tow truck.
Q.
If basketball players get athlete's foot, what do astronauts
get?
A. Missle toe.
Q.
Which sport requires that players have jumbo-sized lower
limbs?
A. Major-leg baseball. |
Q.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs out in the
swimming pool?
A. Bob.
Q.
Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship
baseball game?
A. Wrigley Field.
Q.
What kind of birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A. Birds of Prey.
Sheer
Stocking Laugh of the Day: The guy who invented pantyhouse
really left a legacy.
|
Q.
Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A. If he raised both, he'd fall down!
Q.
What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him?
A. If I had legs, I'd kick your butt!
Q.
What did Hamlet say when he didn't know which leg bone was
which?
A. Tibia or not tibia?
Soccer
Player Pick-Up Line: Hey
there, are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been running through
my mind all night. |
Q.
Why was the pirate a natural to be a bar owner?
A. He had a keg leg.
Q.
What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?
A. A head banger. OUCH!
Man:
The doctor said he'd have me back on my feet in two weeks.
Friend: And, did he?
Man: Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill. |
Did
you hear about the blonde marathon runner who ran for an
hour, but only ran two feet? Well, Duh! She only had two
feet!
Q.
Why don't Colorado bears wear shoes?
A. What's the point? They'd still have bear feet!
Q.
Why do Old West cowboys always die with their boots on?
A. So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
|
Q.
What was the one-legged pirate's job at the brewery?
A. He was in charge of the hops.
Sailor:
I know a pirate with a wooden leg named, "Bob."
Blonde: Reallly? I wonder what his hook is named?
Medical
Break-Through of the Day: I told the doctor I broke my leg
in two places. He told me to stop going to those places...
|
Q.
Why do banjo pickers always die with their boots on?
A. So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
Q.
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A. A cloud.
Q.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs, and legs, and legs! |
Q.
Why was the blonde chef crushing tomotoes with her upper
legs?
A. She was making Peak 'o de Thigh-o. Duh!
Pick-Up
Line in the Bone Lab: Hey Bae, I want tibia
your date tonight!
A
dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon.
He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin'
fer the man that shot my paw."
|
A man went to the doctor and said he felt run down. Doc
asked, "Why do you feel that way?" The man replied,
"Well, I have tire marks on my legs."
Q.
What happened to the guy who held a squat for too long?
A. He got hunker pains.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a giraffe?
A. Bacon and legs. |
Fine
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
Wow! And I thought my wine had nice legs!
Q.
Why are spiders such great basketball players?
A. Because they're all eight-footers!
Q.
How hard was it for the guy to start the company that manufactures
clown shoes?
A. It was no small feet!
My
body is not a temple ... It is a microbrewery with legs.
Q.
How can you tell the head nurse apart from all the others?
A. By the dirt on her knees. |
Q.
What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist?
A. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot.
Old
dancers never die, they just step aside.
Student
Doctor: It looks like there's something written on this
patient's big toe.
Famous Surgeon: Oh, yes. That's a footnote.
Poor
guy was in the hospital with 60% burns. Doc says, "Give
him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?"
Doc replies, "No, but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
|
Q.
What is a medical staff?
A. What a lame doctor walks with.
Q.
Why did the skeleton go to the disco?
A. He heard it was a hip joint.
Q.
What happened to the dancing pirate who went to the seafood-themed
disco?
A. He pulled a mussel.
Q.
What did the skeleton Chippendale dancer choose for his
stage name?
A. Pelvis.
Nurse
Notes: The patient is numb from her toes down...
|
|
Leg Jokes and Knee Puns | Feet
Puns and Foot Jokes | Hand Jokes,
Finger Puns, Arm Humor |
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes, Bad Ass Pun
|
| Male Body Humor, Penis Puns, Viagra Jokes
| Female Body Humor, Breast Jokes, PMS
Puns |
| Head Jokes, Noggin Puns | Chest
Jokes, Breat Puns | Heart Humor
| Belly Laughs, Gut Humor |
| Face Jokes | Neck
Jokes, Throat Puns | Mouth Jokes,
Tongue Puns, Lip Laughs | Eye
Jokes |
| Ear Jokes, Hearing Humor, Deaf Puns
| Nose Jokes, Boogar Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Sick Puns, Medical Jokes | Doctor
Jokes | Surgery Cut-Ups | Proctology
Jokes | Urology Jokes |
| Head Shrinker Jokes | Dentist
Jokes | Eye Doctor Jokes | Manly
Man Jokes | Women Jokes
|
You've
stumbled down this far, so
here's even more high-stepping
humor,
limpy laughs, running
jokes and sore-y
painful puns you'll get a kick
out of:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Actor Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Craft Beer Puns | Dancer
Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes
| Gym Humor | Hiking
Jokes |
| Hot Dog Puns | Pirate
Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic
Jokes | Robber Jokes | Running
Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Seasonal Puns | Shoe
Jokes | Skiing Jokes | Sock
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Travel
Jokes | Weatherman Jokes |
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
Join
us on social media and please
feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
©2017-2021
Painfulpuns.com
All rights reserved. |
|
|