Why did the old butcher decide to retire?
A. He was past his prime.
you hear about the butcher who couldn't login to a website
using his new password: beefstew? The site error
said: Password isn't stroganoff.
Hot Meat Market Humor: Brought a new grill home last night.
She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after
you turn her on!
Why do Alabama meat markets avoid buying Colorado beef?
A. Because the steaks are too, too high.
What happens when a butcher laughs too hard?
A. He cow-lapses!
Where do butchers go to dance?
A. The meatball.
Which day of the week does your butcher dread most?
A. Meatless Monday.
What do you call it when you get distracted by all the different
meats at the butcher shop?
A. A short attention Spam.
What happens after old butchers die?
A. They all meat up in the afterlife.
What is a butcher's favorite Bruce Springsteen song?
A. Born in the USDA.
Why did the give up his dream of becoming a butcher?
A. He just didn't have the chops.
How can a butcher tell if beef steaks have a high I.Q.?
A. They loin fast.
How difficult is the butcher's recipe for making beef jerky?
A. It's cut and dry.
Why did the butcher have to work so much overtime?
A. To make ends meat.
Who is the horniest guy in town?
A. The butcher. He's always beating his meat.
What do you call a sneaky thief who steals from a meat market?
A. A hamburgler.
What did the butcher say at the end of a first date?
A. It was really nice meating you.
What is a butcher's favorite fairy tale?
A. Hansel and Gristle.
Why don't butchers like tofu or dildos?
A. Because they're meat substitutes.
Point to Ponder: Wouldn't you think there'd be more online
butcher jokes about Spam?
Where are the out-takes from the new butcher shop documentary?
A. On the cutting room floor.
How did the butcher stop criminals from stealing beef at
the meat market?
A. He used a burger alarm.
you hear about the butcher who slipped and broke his prime
What is it called a butcher spies on his competitor's meat
A. A steak out.
What do you do for a living?
Chuck: Im a butcher.
Patty: So, you have no heart?
Chuck: Are you criticizing me or placing an order?
Shop Point to Ponder: Did you know that cows are vegetarians
so that you don't have to be?
Which Star Wars jedi was a butcher?
A. Obi Wan Baloney.