Q. Why couldn't the chef get into the Italian restaurant?
A. He had gnocchi.

Waiter: Sir, you know the food here is really bad, so why do you keep coming back?
Customer: Sigh, it reminds me of my ex-wife's cooking.

Waiter: Sir, you haven't touched your Jell-O?
Customer: Yeah, I'm waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline.

Did you know that cannibal hitman prefer take-out food?

Q. Where do witches bake their cookies?
A. In a coven.

If zombies have to eat brains, does that make them obligate cognivores?

Q. What did the owner say when a psychic told him the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting his restaurant?
A. No prolem. I ain’t alfredo no ghost.

Hulk's legacy will become a pizza history!

Did you hear about the waiter who was 6'8" tall? He handled all the tall orders.

Q. What did the restaurant call its promotional offering of one-cent noodles?
A. Penny Pasta.

Waiter: As you can see sir, we have a great selection on our menu.
Customer: Yeah, but please bring me a clean one.

Q. Why was the floundering seafood restaurant allowed to cook its books?
A. There's no accounting for taste!

Customer: This chicken is nothing but skin and bones.
Waiter: Sorry sir, I didn't know you wanted feathers with that.

IHOP Customer: Waiter, will the pancakes be long?
Waiter: No sir, they'll be round.

Take-Out Restaurant Pick-Up Line: Biker dude wants a pizza her!

Foodie Laugh of the Day: I like to party, and by party I mean stay in and order pizza.

Customer: There's a cochroach on my steak.
Vegan Waiter: Yes sir, they don't seem to care what they eat.

Customer: There's a fly in the butter.
Waiter: Yes sir, that's a butterfly.

Customer: There's a worm on my plate.
Waiter: Yes sir, you ordered the wurst.

Q. What did the chef do when none of the restaurant's meals impressed him?
A. He made a last dish effort.

Did you hear about the restaurant critic who had no taste?

Customer: There's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Couldn't be, sir. The chef used them all in the raisin bread.

Testy Pick-Up Lines: Are you on the menu at Mcdonald's, 'cause you're McGorgeous!

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my wine!
Waiter: Yes ma'am, you asked for a house red with a little body in it.

Customer: Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger one?

Did you hear about the new drive-thru restaurant for golfers? They insist upon putting greens on all their courses!

Customer: There's no chicken in this chicken soup!
Blonde Waiter: Duh, there's no horse in the horseradish, either.

Customer: Watch out! Your thumbs are in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry sir, it's not that hot.

Customer: I found a hair in my turtle soup.
Dumb Waiter: Dude, really? That means the turtle and the hare finally got together!

Customer: This coffee tastes like dirt!
Blonde Waiter: Yes sir, that's because it was ground this morning.

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir. Our soup is really hot.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry sir, the spider on your breadsticks will get it.

Did you hear about the janitor at the fast food restaurant? He worked under the table.

Customer: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

The harried hamburger chef was so worried about the grill, that he put everything else on the back burner.

Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard!

Customer: There's a spider in this glass.
Waiter: Yes sir, it keeps the flies away.

Pirates know that ye who talks with full mouth speaks ingest!

Q. Why did a fish become a waiter?
A. He liked when people tipped the scales.

Waiter: These are the freshest eggs we've had all year.
Customer: I'd prefer eggs that haven't been around that long...

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