Q. When should you shoot pool with a pickle?
A. Only when you find the cue cumbersome.

Did you hear about the new VW? It's called the Cucumber Beetle.

Q. What should you do if a pickle wants to play poker?
A. Dill 'em in!

Q. Which newspaper does a super pickle read?
A. The Dilly Planet.

Q. What do you call a cucumber that's a sore loser?
A. A sour pickle.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite tourist spot in England?
A. Picadilly Square!

Q. What do you call a cucumber stranded in a blizzard?
A. An ice-pickle.

Q. Why do pickles usually make dreadful domestic partners?
A. Because they're always so green with envy.

Q. When should a cucumber seek out the help of an attorney?
A. When it's in a pickle!

Q. What happens if you use pickles instead of a ping pong ball?
A. You get the Volley of the Dills.

Q. What did bride and groom pickles say at their wedding vows?
A. I Dill!

Q. What is black and white, and green and bumpy?
A. A pickle wearing a tuxedo.

Q. What is a Mexican pickle's favorite dance?
A. La Cuke-aracha!

Q. What does an arrogant pickle brag?
A. I'm a real big dill!

Did you hear about the pickles abducted by aliens? Nobody believed them because they were full of crock.

Q. What do you get if you cross an alligator with a pickle?
A. A croco-dill!

Q. What do you call a redneck pickle?
A. A Dill-Billy!

Q. Where does a pickle go to mellow out after work on Friday night?
A. The salad bar.

Q. What did the dill say to his sweet pickle?
A. Pucker up!

Q. What is green and very dangerous?
A. A thundering herd of pickles!

Q. What would you get if you cross Santa and a dill pickle?
A. Claussen.

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