Q. What did one penny, say to the other penny?
A. Money jokes are priceless, at least that's my two cents on it.

Non-Cents Point to Ponder: How many pennies are in one pun?

Q. Why did the blonde always leave a penny on the toilet lid after taking a dump?
A. Just so that a cent covers the odor. DUH!

Q. What's the difference between Congress and the US Mint?
A. Only one of them makes cents.

Q. Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?
A. Because he gave out bad s-cents.

Q. Which US president has never gone to jail?
A. Lincoln, because he's in a cent.

Q. What did the nickel say to the quarter after it told a bad joke?
A. That just didn't make cents.

Q. How can a novice collector tell if a coin is fresh?
A. You can smell the mint.

Big Banking Tip: Never be funny when speaking to your loan officer because bankers have no cents of humor.

Q. Why did the idiot go broke?
A. Because he had no cents.

Q. What has a head and a tail but isn't an animal or plant?
A. A penny.

Cents-Less Point to Ponder: If that dumb guy had a nickel for every time someone said, "look at that asshole!," he'd certainly have enough money to patch up that hole in his pants.

Q. What did the numismatists name their new baby girl?
A. Penny!

Q. What did the broke coin collectors name their new baby boy?
A. Nickel-less.

A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. Now, he's wishing for a drier pocket.

Q. What did the counterfeiter name his new puppy?
A. Bill.

Q. Which kind of dog always has money?
A. The Bloodhound, because he's always picking up scents.

Q. Why do some people work at fragrance factories?
A. Because it makes s-cents.

Q. Why did the blonde put two quarters in her ears?
A. To hear 50 Cent.

Q. Why did the Lincoln penny debut on the centennial of his birth?
A. Because that made cents.

Q. What did one penny say to another?
A. Well, that was my two cents...

Funny Money Factoid: What you can buy for a dollar these days is absolute noncents.

Q. Why did the bulimic redhead swallow a penny, and then vomited it afterward?
A. Because she heard change should come from within.

Q. Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because she had no cents.

Q. Why are hermits always penniless?
A. Because they are loaners!

Q. What did one penny say to the other penny?
A. Let's get together and make some cents.

Q. Two coins add up to 30 cents, but one is not a nickel. What are they?
A. A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel!

Q. What did one dollar said to the other?
A. Our love does not makes cents – it makes dollars.

Q. Why did the blonde frantically run around outside with her purse open?
A. She heard they were expecting some change in the weather.

Q. When you're poor, why should you always spend your money wisely?
A. Because that is common cents.

Pricey Point to Ponder: Why do we keep making pennies when the cost to make them is more than their value? It just doesn't make cents… Or does it actually save consumers millions of dollars each year?

Q. What's brown, has a head and a tail, but has no legs?
A. A penny.

Q. When was the two-cent coin replaced?
A. Only after the mint approved the exact change.

Q. What did the coin say to the subway token?
A. Bro, that makes no cents.

Money Saving Tip of the Day: In Canada, you can borrow five cents and no one will ask you to return it. Apparently, Canadians don't like Nickelback.

Another Money Fact for Recent Grads: Being hired as an unpaid intern just doesn't make any cents.

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