You might be from Colorado if you just laugh when folks back east say they have mountains in their state, too!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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You might be from Colorado if you friend asks your plans for today's hike and you summit up nicely!
Q. What did the dentist see at the North Pole? A. A molar bear!
You might be from Colorado if you describe eye-catching mesas as butte beauts!
Q. Where do Alaskans keep their money? A. Fairbanks!
You might be from Colorado if you can run up ten flights of stairs without getting winded!
You might be from Colorado if ou dress in shorts and flip flops because the weaterh forecast is 50!

 


Bear Jokes, Ursa Major Puns, Minor Bear Humor
Paws for grizzly bear puns, yoga bear humor, and stinking funny brown bear jokes in the woods.

Bear Jokes, Grizzly Bear Humor, Polar Bear Puns
(Because Unbearable jokes and Grizzly Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While Hibernating in Your Den or Lair!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Bear-faced humor, un-bear-able jokes, and bearly funny Pooh puns ahead.
| Bear Jokes | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Colorado Wildlife |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |

You might be from Colorado if a bear on your front porch doesn't bother you!Groaner Pun: A bear was hit by an 18-wheeler. It was a grizzly accident.Bear says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!

Q. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear with a harp?
A. A bear-faced lyre.

Q. What do you call a Grizzly out in the rain?
A. A Drizzly Bear.

Q. What do Chinese bears like to eat for breakfast?
A. Panda-cakes!

Q. Why did the panda bear want to date the Victoria Secret model?
A. She had really big bamboobs.

Q. Why is the grizzly's favorite constellation Ursa Major, the Big Dipper?
A. Because it's a Great Bear, too!

Q. What kind of car does a grizzly bear drive?
A. A Furrari.

Q. Which kind of bear changes his mind every few minutes?
A. A bi-polar bear.

Q. What should you do if you're hiking and see a posted warning about grizzlies?
A. Bear that in mind!

Q. What did the Grizzly say when he was pushed out of his natural habitat?
A. This is un-BEAR-able!

Q. Even if you're not insterested in atronomy, why should you at least learn about the constellation, Ursa Minor?
A. Because that's the bear minimum.

Q. Why don't Colorado bears wear shoes?
A. What's the point? They'd still have bear feet!

Q. What do you call a freezing bear?
A. A brrrrrrr.

Q. Why do bears have fur coats?
A. Because they'd look ridiculous wearing Gore-Tex parkas!

Q. How does a Grizzly catch a fish without a fishing rod?
A. With his bear hands.

Have you hear the joke about Ursa Major? It's a long one, so please bear with us... GROAN!

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. At the North Pole.You might be from Colorado if you use bear-proof trash cans!Q. What do you get if you cross a bear and a toilet? A. Winnie the Pooh!

Q. What do you get if you cross a teddy bear and a pig?
A. A Teddy Boar!

Q. What do you call a little bruin with no teeth?
A. Gummy Bear.

Q. What is one of the biggest drawbacks of a polar bear's diet?
A. Brain freeze.

Q. How do you start a teddy bear race?
A. Ready, teddy, GO!

Q. How do Coloradans catch rainvow trout without a fishing rod?
A. They use their bear hands!

Q. How do you apologize to a bruin?
A. Bear your heart and soul.

Q. What do you call a Bear with no ear?
A. B.

Q. What do you call a bear with no ear?
A. Anything you want, 'cause he can't hear you anyway!

Q. Why are constipated bears so rude?
A. They just don't give a crap.

Bruin Point to Ponder: When bears poop in the woods, is the smell unbearable?

Q. What do you get if you cross a skunk and a bear?
A. Winnie the Pee-Yoo.

Down Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey Sheila, I have the necessary koala-fications to make you a very happy girl.

Q. Which national parks icon do locksmiths trust to preven forest fires? A. Smokey the Bear!Bear Walks Into a Bar: "I'll have a beer ... and some peanuts." Bartender asks: "Why the big paws?"Q. How did the lost Alaskan fishing boat captain get back on course? A. He Got His Bering Strait!

Q. What was Yogi bear looking for in the Ranger's picnic basket?
A. Just the Bear necessities.

Q. Which bruin hibernates while standing on its head?
A. Yoga Bear.

Beary Sweet Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you know they call me Yogi Bear? 'Cause I'm always chasing after that Honey!

Q. Why do brown bears have sticky fur?
A. Because they use honey combs!

Q. What do you call a friendly polar bear?
A. An Ice Guy.

Q. What do polar bears catch for lunch?
A. Brrr-gers.

Q. What is a bear's favorite drink?
A. Koka-Koala!

Q. Why don't bears like fast food?
A. Because it's too hard to catch!

Q. Which bruin barber shop quartet singer sings the low notes?
A. The bear-itone.

Q. Why should you never say hello to a brown bear's ass?
A. 'Cause you'll meet a grizzly end!

Q. What did the blonde bear say?
A. Pan Duh!

Q. How do you keep a Grizzly bear from charging?
A. Take away his credit card.

Q. Why do polar bears like bald men?
A. Because they have a great, white, bear place!

Q. What does a polar bear have for lunch?
A. Ice burger!

Q. What's a Polar bear's favorite winter treat?
A. Brrr-itos!

Q. How do bruins stay cool during summer?
A. They use bear conditioning.

Q. What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
A. Bipolar.

Q. What is a Canadian polar bear's least favorite U.S. government agency?
A. I.C.E.

Q. Why was Tigger in the toilet? A. He was looking for Pooh!Bear says: I've partied with Bigfoot in the Colorado high country!Q. How are the Denver Broncos like grizzly bears? A. Every fall they go into hibernation! Go Broncos!

Q. Why did the lawyer call the grizzly to the stand?
A. So he could bear witness.

Q. Have you ever hunted bear?
A. No, but I've been shooting in my shorts!

Down Unda Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you be the eucalyptus tree, and I'll wrap around you like a koala bear.

Q. What does Pooh Bear eat at parties?
A. Blue bear-y pie.

Q. Why don't Grizzlies ever look sad?
A. 'Cause whatever the situation, they just grin and bear it!

Q. Why are polar bears such popular party guests?
A. Because they really know how to break the ice.

Q. What is a polar bear's favorite geometric shape?
A. The ICE-oceles triangle.

Q. How did the poacher kill the polar bear?
A. He shot him right between the ice.

Q. When do bruin couples stop arguing?
A. When it becomes un-bear-able, or it's time to hibernate.

Q. What kind of embrace can you expect from a Grizzly?
A. A big bear hug.

Grizzly Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, if I bear my heart and soul, can I sneak a peek at your sweet honey pot?

Q. Why don't polar bears get married?
A. Because they always get cold feet.

Q. What is a Grizzly bear's favorite venue?
A. The local maul.

Q. Why do panda bears like watching old movies?
A. Because they're in black and white.

Q. Which bruin hibernates while standing on his head?
A. Yoga Bear.

Q. Why did God create just one Yogi Bear?
A. Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.

Q. What is the most common pick-up line at a bears' singles bar?
A. What’s ursine?

Bearly Passable Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, it's cold outside. Let's go back to my Mile High cave and hiber-mate.

Q. Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?
A. Because he'd rather spend his leisure time at the park!

Q. What is it called when you dream Grizzly bears are chasing you?
A. A bite-mare.

Q. How do you apologize to a Grizzly?
A. You BEAR your heart and soul.

Q. What did the bear say when he saw campers in sleeping bags?
A. Yum. Hot Pockets!

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his den. It isn't dead, it's just afraid to move!

Q. Where do bruins inter their deceased brethren?
A. In the local bear-ial grounds.

Q. What do you call a northern guy who's completely into polar bears?
A. Totally Inuit.

| Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal Poop Puns |
| Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
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