Q. Why did the blonde bitch break up with her stoner dog boyfriend?
A. Because he could eat alphabet soup and crap out smarter stuff than she could.

Potted Dog of a Pick-Up Line: If you were a joint, I'd roll you over and lick you up and down.

Pothead Point to Ponder: If your dog laughs at funny weed jokes, but growls at pot puns, does Fido have high standards?

Q. How do cows in Colorado get high?
A. Milkweed.

Q. What did the stoner call his girlfriend when she acted a bit catty?
A. Meowy Jane.

In Colorado, some people treat their pets with medical marijuana. Which is great because cats need another reason to sit on the couch all day.

Q. Why do so many Canada Geese visit the Mile High city?
A. For the high times.

Q. What do you call a stoner shellfish?
A. A clam bake.

Q. Why was the big Colorado dog still eating?
A. That blue brand grass-fed bison dog food gave him the munchies.

High Minded 420 Pothead Point to Ponder: In dog years, Willie Nelson is 420, isn't he?

Q. What's the best way to teach a Colorado dog to roll over and play dead?
A. Bluntly, make him watch a few more Broncos games.

Q. Which kind of dinosaur was the first creature to use cannabis?
A. Weed-Rex.

Stoner Group-Bee Pick-Up Line: Hey, I can be your buzz amplifier.

Q. Why did the Denver ad agency hire bees to write copy for the new cannabis edibles company?
A. Because they know all the local buzz words.

Q. What do Coloradans call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. Have you heard about the new Seaweed diet?
A. Yeah, you see weed and then you edible it.

Q. What did the stoner call his girlfriend who had a houseful of cats on catnip?
A. Meowy Jane.

Q. What do stoners always take along on elk hunting trips in Colorado?
A. Bugles snacks.

Q. What did the cannabis bud say to the bumblebee?
A. Just buzz off and leaf me alone!

Q. Why do cannabis plants like bumblebees so much?
A. Cuz bees are all about the buzz!

Q. What do Denverites call poetry by a mourning doves hanging around a marijuana grow house?
A. High Coo!

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Q. Why did Bigfoot squeeze the lost redhead scout to death during a Broncos game?
A. Because he was thirsting for an Orange Crush!

Q. What does the Big Bad Wolf say on 420?
A. I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow these trees down!

Q. What do ya call a 'lil humming bird on marijuana?
A. A high flyer.

Q. What do UFOs always take along on Colorado cattle hunting trips?
A. High-powered mutilators.

Q. What do you call an eagle that's soaring after visiting a marijuana grow?
A. A high flyer.

Q. What do you call dining on Colorado cattle raised grazing on half grass and half weed?
A. High Steaks Gambling.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado river Rainbow Trout fishing trips?
A. High-powered lures.

Mile High Honeybee Pick-Up Line: Hey there, I have a huge kush on you!

Q. What do ya call a dead chicken on marijuana?
A. A high fryer.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado bird watching trips?
A. High-powered binoculars.

Stoner Point to Ponder: Are you an Ent? Wow, I knew there were uncles, but I did not know there were giant tree people in Nebraska!

Pot Point to Ponder: Would a stoner mermaid enjoy clam baking?

Q. What did the tortoise stoner say about the new indica strain?
A. It's turtle-y awesome, dude!

Q. How do Unidentified Submerged Object aliens get high?
A. Seaweed.

Q. How do USO aliens get high?
A. Reefer.

Q. What does a stoner call a common housefly on marijuana?
A. Buzzed and annoying as splat.

Q. Why did the skunk know she was destined to grow great weed?
A. Her name was Flower.

Q. How do deer in Colorado consume weed?
A. They can't buy Bic lighters, so they only go for edibles.

Alley Cat Poetic Pick-Up Line: You must be as dope as weed, because right now you're all I need.

Q. What happened after the garden frog got baked?
A. He could finally hold his head up high.

Weedy Fun Froggie Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Green Giggles? 'Cause you are putting a big smile on my face.

Hoppy Frog 420 Quip: I'm high on life, in a green way!

Green Frog Love Line: Kiss me, I'm High-Rish!

Stoner Giraffe Pick-Up Line: Hey Mary Jane, is it true that you're always longing to be this high?

Q. How do stoner rainbow trout in Denver party?
A. They participate in a seaweed pride parade on 13th Street.

Service Dog: My master just bought boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with, but he's been tripping all day!

Q. Tomorrow, which songs won't a pothead remember hearing tonight?
A. Gin and Juice and Young, Wild & Free by Snoop Dog.

Q. How do you make a werewolf stew?
A. Give him some weed and leave him waiting for the munchies until the full moon.

Q. Why do free range cattle like working in Colorado's legalized marijuana industry?
A. 'Cause there's no grass ceiling!

Q. Which classic pot song is still growing green today?
A. Don't Step on the Grass by Steppenwolf.

Weedy Deep Point to Ponder: Dinosaur bones were recently unearthed in Highlands Ranch. Scientists at Denver Museum of Nature and Science say the bones are that of a horned Triceratops dinosaur and a herbivore. So, does that mean Colorado has been green for more than 65,000,000 years?

Rockin' Dog on 4/20: Dude, this song smells amazing!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Please feel free to share our memes with friends and family on social media including:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.