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Q. Which kind
of music do
urban rabbits

A. Hip Hop.

Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. Because it saw the the salad dressing.

Q. What is a
bunny rabbit's
recess game?

A. Hop Scotch.

Q. Which
TV network
do rabbits
always try to


Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.

Q. What is
the quickest
way to
ship a rabbit?

A. Hare Mail.


Funny Bunny Jokes, Hare Puns, Rabbit Humor
Dig a hole lotta bad hare puns, ear-y laughs, hopped-up rabbit humor and Easter Bunny jokes.

Jack Rabbit Jokes, Hare Humor, Bunny Puns
('Cause Hoppy Rabbit Jokes 'n Hare-Brained Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You Don't Know What's Up, Doc!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Rascally rabbit jokes, funny bunnies, ear humor and Energizer Bunny puns ahead.
| Rabbit Jokes and Hare Humor | Mouse Jokes and Rat Puns | Deer Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
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Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Q. Why was the Energizer bunny arrested? A. He was charged with battery!Q. What do you get if you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? A. Hot Cross Bunnies

Q. What is the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd hare?
A. One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny.

Q. How did the veterinarian neuter the rabbit?
A. He gave him a hare cut.

Q. Which kind of rabbit tells hare-brained jokes?
A. A funny bunny.

Q. Why did the rabbit go to drug rehab?
A. He had a serius hare-oin addiction.

Redneck Butcher Shop Customer: May I buy half a rabbit?
Butcher: No, we don't split hares here.

Q. Which Age of Enlightenment rabbit was hit by a bolt of lightening?
A. Volt-hare.
(Does this joke help explain our PainfulPuns.com logo and the site's content?)

Q. What happens if the Engergizer bunny puts his batteries in backward?
A. He keeps coming and coming...

Hare-y Pick-Up Line: Are you the Energizer Bunny? 'Cause you just keep going and going through my mind.

Did you hear about the perverted magician? He pulled his top hat out of a Bunny.

Q. Why is betting on running rabbits at the track so creepy?
A. 'Cause it's hare racing.

Q. What trick was the perverted magician famous for performing?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. What did the magician say when his rabbit disappeared?
A. Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Magician Pick-Up Line: Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Q. Why did the rabbit build himself a hutch?
A. 'Cause he was fed up with the hole thing.

Q. Where do bunnies live?
A. In their rabbit-tat.

Q. Why don't rabbits get hot during the summer?
A. Because they have hare conditioning.

Q. What do you call a pet rabbit that lives at a bed and breakfast?
A. An inn-grown hare.

Q. What is a mobile home for rabbits?
A. A wheel-burrow.

Briar Patch Pick-Up Line: Hey Bunny, if I were a rabbit, I'd jump in your hole!

Q. How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit?
A. Unique up on it!

Q. Why is rabbit sex so quiet?
A. 'Cause they have cotton tails.

Q. What do
you get when
you cross a
rabbit with a
leaf blower?

A Hare dryer!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny

Q. What do
you call a
happy rabbit?

A. An

Q. Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.

Q. What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward?
A. A receding hare line.

Q. What did the cops do when a bunch of hare thugs were loose in town?
A. They combed the area.

Q. What does a bald elephant use as a toupee?
A. A few hares.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a spider?
A. A Hare Net.

Q. How does a stylish rabbit keep her ears up all day?
A. She uses hare spray.

Q. Why was the stylish bunny's fur always so perfect?
A. She has a lot of hare pins.

Q. What does Elmer Fudd call it when Bugs Bunny is really harassing him?
A. Having a bad hare day!

Q. What did the jacked-up rabbit say to the flower before it bit it?
A. Wassup, Doc?

Q. What is a rabbit's favorite classic TV show?
A. Hoppy Days.

Q. Which Dr. Seuss book is a rabbit's favorite?
A. Hop On Pop.

Q. What happens if you cross an insect with a rabbit?
A. You get Bugs Bunny.

Patient: Doc, I feel more like a cartoon rabbit every single day.
Shrink: I see. You have a slight case of Updoc.
Patient: What's Updoc?
Shrink: Oh my, it's more serious than I thought...

Q. What is an optimistic rabbit's favorite song lyric?
A. Don't worry, be hoppy.

Q. Which kind of fairy tale do rabbits like best?
A. Ones with a hoppy ending.

Q. Why did the rabbit go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling a little jumpy.

Q. Which television program is a rabbit's favorite horror show?
A. FOX News.

Racy Rabbit Joke of the Day, Told By a Turtle: Rabbits hate relay batons. Pass it on!

Q. What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
A. Mad hops.

Q. What is a dumb bunny called?
A. A hare brain.

Q. What do you call a wealthy rabbit?
A. A billion-hare.

Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.

Q. Where do
go after their

A. On their

Q. What is a honeymoon salad? A. Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Q. Why do rabbits prefer IPA?
A. Because it's hoppy.

Mr. Spock, a rabbit, and a corn stalk walk into a bar. Bartender asks, "You guys want to hear a joke?" They replied, "We're all ears."

Q. Why is IPA a rabbit's favorite kind of beer?
A. Because it's so hoppy.

A guy walks into a bar with a bunny on his face. Bartender ask, "What's that?" Guy replies, "Just a little faciall hare."

A priest, a reverend, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender looks at the rabbit and says, "Is this some kind of a jok, or are you a typo?"

Q. Why do rabbits drink craft beer?
A. 'Cause it makes them so hoppy.

Q. What do you get when you cross a tornado with rabbits?
A. A Hare-icane.

Q. How are rabbits like calculators?
A. Both multiply often.

Q. What happens if a rabbit marries a chicken?
A. He's the first rabbit to lay an egg.

Q. Which dance do rabbits do at weddings?
A. The Bunny Hop.

Q. How did the rabbit propose to his girlfriend?
A. He got down on two knees and gave her a 14-carrot ring.

Pick Up a Rabbit Line: Hey there Peter, can I rub your foot for luck?

Q. What is it like to be a rabbit breeder?
A. It's a hare-raising experience.

Q. Which rabbits were infamous bank robbers?
A. Bunny and Clyde.

Jackrabbit PickUp Line: Hey Bunny, the ears aren't the only thing that's big about me.

Q. Why do rabbits like to travel up I70 and over Loveland Pass in Colorado?
A. Because there are so many hare pin turns.

Q. What do rabbits say before they eat their first course?
A. Lettuce pray.

Q. How do you make a rabbit fast?
A. Don't feed it. OUCH!

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee with a rabbit?
A. A honey bunny.

Q. Why did the guy at the hillbilly restaurant send back his rabbit soup?
A. 'Cause there was a hare in it.

Q. How do you make a rabbit stew?
A. Just keep it waiting...

Gamy Point to Ponder: Why do people order rabbit stew, yet they're disgusted when there's a little hare on their meal?

Q. How can you tell if you've been served authentic rabbit stew?
A. It has hares in it.

Q. How can you tell your rabbit is old?
A. It's got gray hares.

Q. How
does the
Easter Bunny
stay so fit?

A. He

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg

Q. What did
the rabbit say
to the carrot?

A. It's been
nice gnawing

Q. How did the bunnies deliver so many Easter baskets so quickly?
A. Lots of co-hop-eration.

Q. Which music genre does the Easter Bunny get down with?
A. Hip hop.

Q. What does the alternate universe Easter Bunny leave kids?
A. Deviled eggs.

Q. Why did the Easter egg hide from the Easter Bunny?
A. Because it was a little chicken.

Q. How do we know the Easter Bunny IS really smart?
A. Because he's an egghead!

Q. What happened when the Easter Bunny misbehaved at school?
A. He was egg-spelled!

Q. Where does the Easter Bunny get a lot of good eggs?
A. New Yolk City.

Q. Why does the Easter Bunny paint Easter eggs?
A. Because that's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. Which famous rabbit was an anethesiologist?
A. The Ether Bunny.

Q. Which rabbit works at a bread bakery?
A. The Yeaster Bunny.

Q. Which rabbit jumps off bridges holding baskets of eggs?
A. The Easter Bungee.

Q. How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A. Ten little piggies, two calves, one ass, one beaver and several thousand hares.

Q. How do hares travel to work each day?
A. They use rabbit transit.

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare plane.

Q. What does the president of the Rabbit Republic travel?
A. He flies on Hare Force One.

Q. Why couldn't the passenger bring his dead rabbit on the airplane?
A. No carrion allowed.

Q. Where do Colorado rabbits learn to be pilots?
A. At the U.S. Hare-force Academy.

Q. Who is the mot famous rabbit aviator?
A. Amelia Harehart.

Q. Which air carrier do rabbits prefer?
A. United Hare Lines.

Q. What is the rabbit's job at the hotel?
A. Bellhop.

Q. Which movie is about two rabbits that race down the road?
A. The Fast and the Furriest.

Bunny Pun of the Day: A guy almost hit a rabbit last night. Luckily he missed it by a hare.

Q. Which rabbit character was feature in oater films?
A. Hopalong Cassidy.

Q. How do you show affection to a rabbit?
A. Treat it with tender loving hare.

Q. Who is every hare's favorite acctor?
A. Rabbit De Niro.

Q. What's on the back of a flying rabbit?
A. A red tailed hawk.

Q. Why did the rabbit breeder decide to change careers?
A. He just wasn't hoppy with the pay.

Q. What did the tough carrot say to the rabbit thug?
A. So, you wanna piece of me?

Q. What is invisible but smells like carrots?
A. Bunny farts.

Q. Where do rabbits go for breakfast?

Q. Why did the farmer's rabbits go on strike?
A. They wanted higher celery.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
A. An elephant with great eyesight that really likes carrots.

Q. Why are bunnies so lucky?
A. 'Cause they don't just have one rabbit's foot, they've got four.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a rooster?
A. A Hop-a-doodle-do-do.

Q. Why did the hornet decide not to land on the bunny?
A. 'Cause the rabbit already has two Bs.

Q. Is it true that rabbits are really good at math?
A. Yes, they're great at multiplying.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog with a bunny?
A. A Ribbit.

Q. Why did the rabbit jump across the road?
A. "Cause he was going to IHOP.

Q. What is a group of eight rabbits called?
A. A Rabbyte.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lion with a rabbit?
A. Just a lion.

Q. What are white arctic rabbits called?
A. Polar Hares.

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