Why was a duck arguing with the plastic surgeon?
A. Because he wanted to have his bill reduced.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
A. Toss him in the clothes dryer until his Bill Withers.
man returned to the vet clinic to see if his pet's surgery
was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill.
Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."
What did the duck do after he read all these Painful
A. He seriously quacked up!
What do the neighbors call it when migratory loons dropped
into their hot tub?
A. Duck soup.
Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna
Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get
A. At the quack of dawn.
What is it called when you place a shipment of eider duck
feather pillows into a shipping container?
What should you do if a flock of loons suddenly drops out
of the sky?
A. Duck and cover!
What says, "Quick, Quick?"
A. A duck with the hiccups.
What did the physics professor name his pet duck?
Where did the loon go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.
What do you get if you cross a chicken and a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!
What is it called when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!
Why was the duck put in the basketball game?
A. To make a fowl shot.
What did the Mallard southern belle say when she was surprised
by a loon?
A. Well, I do duck-clare!
What does a goose say when a Mallard is in the vee flight
A. What the duck?
What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker.