Q. What happens when you buy a pet mini donkey?
A. You get a little ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pet donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Equine Chat Up Line: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous 'cause that's one fine ass.

Q. Which kind of dog chases anything red?
A. A bulldog!

My dog, Minton, ate two shuttlecocks. Bad, bad, Minton!

Q. What is a prize fighter's favorite dog?
A. The Boxer.

Two dogs meet on the street and do a ritual sniff. One turns to the other and says, "I don't recall your name, but the feces familiar."

Snakes really enjoy hisss-terical puns!

Q. What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!

Q. Which kind of pet snake likes to keep his car clean?
A. The Windshield Viper!

Snaky Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got one right here called a trouser snake.

Q. Where are most fish found?
A. Between the head and the tail.

Q. What kind of pet fish could help you hear better?
A. A Herring Aid.

Q. What do fish need to stay healthy?
A. Vitamin Sea.

Q. What do you call if when a fish hides behind a rock in the garden pond?
A. Just being koi.

Q. What do you call a lion wearing a very dapper hat?
A. A dandy lion!

Q. Which big cat should you never bet against?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. What do you call a teen-aged big cat with acne?
A. A dotted lion.

Q. Which is a lion's favorite USA state?
A. Maine.

Q. How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a big, scary monster?
A. Terrier-fied!

Q. Which breed of dog tells off-color jokes?
A. A sMutt!

Q. What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A. Aware-wolf.

Q. What do you call a barking dog aboard an underwater ship?
A. A sub woofer.

Q. What does a frog do when his car breaks down?
A. He calls a toad truck.

Q. What do stylish sci-fi frogs wear?
A. Jumpsuits.

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A. One says ribbit, ribbit and the other says rub-it, rub-it.

Q. Which rodent snack do cats prefer?
A. Mice Krispies.

Q. What kind of cheese do pet rodents prefer?
A. Mouserella!

Q. What does a mouse's cousin use to paint her nails?
A. Shrew polish.

Q. Which pet is small, furry, and smells like bacon?
A. A hamster.

Did you hear about the blonde who decided to become a sheep farmer? She planted them too close together.

Q. What lives under water and bleats at ships?
A. A ewe-boat.

Q. Where do sheep go on holiday?
A. Baali.

Q. What did the ram say when his wife really hoped for something?
A. Ewe wish!

Q. What do you call a cat that digs in the sand?
A. Sandy Claws.

Q. What do tigers sing at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Q. Why are tigers considered very religious felines?
A. They prey frequently, and they prey as a family.

Q. What did the dog say when he sat on coarse sand paper?
A. Ruff, Ruff!

Q. Where should you put your dog if he barks while you're not home?
A. In a barking lot!

Q. Which snack do dogs prefer while watching a crappy movie with their human?
A. Poop-corn.

Q. What do you call a dark dog at the North Pole?
A. A dusky husky.

Q. Why did the dog bring toilet paper to his master's New Year's Eve affair?
A. He was a real party pooper!

Q. What does a stylish pet bitch wear to a big party?
A. Her petticoat.

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