Q. What's the best way to communicate with a fish? A. Drop him a line!   PainfulPuns.com - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

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Home of Pet Puns & Funny Pet Peeves
Tame your funny bone with rabid memes, pet humor, and hilarious animal jokes!

Painful Pet Puns, Pet Jokes, Pet Peeves
(Because Pet Owners Without a Great Sense of Humor Are Too Mainstream)
Warning: Please Don't Feed the Animals. Cagey Jokes Ahead. Beware of the frog?
Pet Peeves & Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 |


A pet store had a bird contest, with no perches necessary.Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"Q. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the ends of its paws, but a comma has a pause at the end of its clause.

Q. Why did the parrot wear a rain coat?
A. She wanted to be polly unsaturated.

Q. Why don't fish do too well in school?
A. Because they work below C level

Q. What is it called when a cat wins at a dog show?
A. A cat-has-trophy!

Mischievous Lambs Post Wooly Funny Videos on Ewe TubeQ. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs BunnyQ. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baa-hamas

Q. What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A. It's been nice gnawing you!

Q. Where do birds invest their money?
A. The stork market

Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to ChickQ. What is a mouse's favorite game? A. Hide and SqueakQ. What do you name a fish with no eyes? A. FSH

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A. She was a double crosser!

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now, he's a bronze fish.

Q. What do you dall a veterinarian with laryngitis? A. Hoarse DoctorQ. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!

Q. Why are most horses in good shape?
A. Because they're on a stable diet.

Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in a mattress? They got married in the spring.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
A. Bacon and Legs!

Pet Peeves & Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 |

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Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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