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Q. How do
greet each

A. Bone-jour!

Q. Which Old Norse god do locksmiths admire most? A. Loki!

Q. Do old Bohemians
ever die?

A. No, they
Czech out.

Q. Where do
pet rodents
like to
vacation in Europe?


Gorilla Chef Joke: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!

Q. Why is
escargot so popular
in Paris?

A. 'Cause the
French don't
like fast food.



European Vacation Jokes, France Puns, UK Humor
Travel along with Roman humor, Swede puns, Transylvania grins, Lappland laughs and Euro jokes.

Europe Travel Jokes, Germany Humor, Swiss Puns
(Because Norway Jokes and Czech Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If Russian Humor is Greek to You!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution and Passport! Paris jokes, Finland humor, bye-lingul LOLs and Flatvia puns ahead.
| Europe Vacation Jokes | British Travel Jokes | World Traveler | Travel Jokes | Travel Hookups |
| France Travel Jokes, Paris Puns | Canada Jokes, Alaska Humor, Polar Puns | USA State Jokes |
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If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? A. European!Q. Which city has an awful lot of computer bugs? A. Antwerp!

Q. What do you call automobile fuel pumped at a station on an official line between two countries in Europe?
A. Border petrol.

A man attempted to smuggle sausage and vodka out of Europe in his suitcase. But the baggage caught on fire and the plane had to be evacuated. It was the Absolut wurst case scenario!

Q. What did the travelers say about their group vacation accomodations throughout Europe?
A. It was a hostel envirnoment!

Q. Do old Europeans ever die?
A. No, but sometimes they do become incontinent.

Q. What are you if you can say farewell in a variety of different European languages?
A. Bye-lingual.

Q. Which week-long annual Dutch event commemorates the pleasures of kissing
A. The Two-Lip Festival.

Traveler Thought of the Day: I'd like to vacation in Holland. Wooden shoe?

Q. What do you say to your mate who is struggling to sleep in Stockholm?
A. Swede Dreams!

Q. Why did the Swedish prostitues leave London?
A. Because they found out Big Ben was a clock.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Hey, are you from Stockholm? 'Cause you're the Swedish girl I've ever seen.

Q. What was the owner of the old classic Swedish car company including in his auto biography?
A. His Saab story.

Q. Which kind of cars do prostitutes in Norway drive?
A. Fjord Escorts.

Q. What did the Florida beach blonde say after hearing Oslo is a cold vacation destination?
A. There's Norway I'd ever go there!

Travel Pick-Up Line: Girl, there is Norway you're driving off before I get your number.

Q. Who administers care to you if you're laid up in a Scandinavian hospital?
A. A registered Norse.

Q. Why did the limbo dancer's European tour en in Norway?
A. There, he went Oslo as he could go.

Q. Which element is derived from a thunderous Norse god?
A. Thorium!

Q. What City Has the Largest Rodent Population? A. HamsterdamApe Chef Asks: Why should you never insult an Italian baker? Because he'll beat the Focaccia!Q. How man Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. Germans are efficient and not very funny!

Q. Why was the blonde guy afraid to fly to Finland?
A. He was afraid he'd disappear in FinnAir!

Q. Where do sharks like to go on their summer vacation?
A. Finland!

Q. What do you call a tourist who falls onto you aboard a train up north?
A. A Lapp-Lander.

Q. What is the biggest rope in the wold?
A. Europe.

Q. How can you tell if a church in Europe has no money?
A. It's Baroque.

Q. What is the most popular gas bran in Naples, Italy?
A. Pump Pay.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the bartender and says, "Five beers please."

Q. Which Europeans travel the most?
A. Romans.

Q. What do you call an old realm ruler who was great at strengthening various metals?
A. The Holy Roman Temperer.

Q. What do you do in Italy's capital if you don't have an official agenda?
A. Roam Rome.

Q. Why did the tourist get a babysitter in Italy?
A. So he'd be free to Roma.

Q. What is a profound reverence for a certain old Roman emperor called?
A. Nero worship.

A German tourist orders a martini. Bartender asks, "Dry?" Confused, the German guy replies, "No, just one."

Q. Which country has the most viruses?
A. Germany.

Q. What do German wheat farmers say at bedtime?
A. Gluten Nacht!

Q. What do you call the guy on the company's group of directors who was born in Berlin?
A. The German of the board.

Grumpy old European tourists never die, but they just don't come back.

France Fact of the Day: French fries aren't cooked in France. They're cooked in Greece.

Cheesy Pick-Up Line: I must be Swiss? 'Cause without you, there's a hole in my heart!Q. Why did one pirate move to Russia? A. He wanted to become a czarrr!Q. What do you call passageways between rows of seats in England? A. The British Aisles!

Q. Why is every television program in Geneva about time?
A. Because that's what the Swiss watch!

Q. Where might you vacation in Europe if you like really nice things?
A. Luxembourg.

Q. Why didn't the Czech Republic tour guide take any bull sh*t from the vacationers?
A. He was very Prague-matic.

European Vacation Pick-Up Line: Are you from Prague? 'Cause I can't help but Czech you out!

Q. What do you get if you cross a fisherman and a jazz enthusiast?
A. An Anglin-Saxon.

Q. What did the bartender say to the patron who was drinking his vodka way too fast?
A. Stop, Russian!

Q. Which forest animal is the mascot of the Russian Capital?
A. The Moss Cow.

Q. Where do you go for vacation if you're in a hurry?
A. Russia.

Q. What do you call a gnome trouble maker that resides in Moscow’s citadel?
A. A Kremlin gremlin.

Q. What do you call a fisherman from Warsaw?
A. A fishing Pole.

Q. Why is London's famous clock tower such a popular attraction?
A. Because tourists and locals enjoy it time and time again.

Q. What happened to the guy who bought London Bridge pants?
A. They kept falling down!

OUCH! I hit my head on bridge in London. It would have been okay if viaduct!

Q. Which kind of sankes are prestigious in London?
A. Sir Pents.

Q. Why do you always have to swim to get to Scottish houses?
A. Because there's a loch on every door.

Chef Pun: Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes!

Q. What's a Grecian urn?

A. About
a year,
after taxes.

The Vikings were always glad to be home after a long rowed trip!

Q. Why doesn't anybody attempt to swim under the river in Paris?
A. Because that would be in-Seine. Eau, oui!

Q. What happened when two cheese delivery trucks collided in Paris?
A. De brie was everywhere!

Q. What did the tourists get when they saw the Paris tower lit up at night?
A. An Eiffel.

A French tourist in England calls room service and asks for some pepper. The hotel employee asks, "What kind of pepper, sir? Black, white, or red?" The Frenchman replies, "Toilet pepper."

Q. What is the specialty of the French drug dealer?
A. Oui-d.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Are you from Paris? 'Cause you are driving me in-Seine.

Q. Why are Greek firemen so ineffective?
A. 'Cause you're not supposed to put water on a Greece fire.

Q. What did the waiter say to the tourists who arrived late to the restaurant in Athens?
A. Feta late than never...

Q. What do you call a Greek back doctor who isn't a physician?
A. A gyropractor.

Q. What did the Greek guide say when the tourists were late for the tour of the cheese factory?
A. Feta late than never.

Tourism Point to Ponder: Will the Acropolis still be a tourist attraction in another 2000 years? It remains to be seen.

Q. In which geological era was a Greek island prominant?
A. The Crete-acios period.

Q. Why does Norway have bar codes on their fleet?
A. So they can scan-da-navy-in.

Q. What is it called in Norway when a guy falls into a gully?
A. A fjord-ian slip.

Q. What long, hard thing does a Norwegian woman get on her wedding night?
A. A surname.

Q. What was the high-tech robot in Norway doing?
A. It Scand-an-avian.

Q. What do natives call a big party in Norway?
A. A fjord fiesta.

Q. What do they call a herd of equines on the banks of a water inlet in Norway?
A. Wild fjord mustangs.

Q. Do they
serve T-bone
steaks in

A. Only
very rarely.

Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!

Q. Why is the
Irish banker

so happy?

A. Because
his capital's

Q. What did Captan Kirk call Mister Spock when he left the Enterprise and moved to Bulgaria?
A. Balkan Vulcan.

Q. Which European country is nearly devoid of any mountains or hills?
A. Flatvia.

Q. What did the tourist say while visiting Bulgaria?
A. Sophia, so good!

Q. Why did the Romanian guy stop reading for the day?
A. To give his Bucharest.

Q. Which country is completely obsessed by the sea?
A. Row-mainia.

Q. What do you call a friend in central Europe who you play chess with?
A. Czech mate.

Q. What do Russians call their retro Legos?
A. Soviet Bloc.

Q. Why hasn't anybody heard the latest Russian doll riddle?
A. 'Cause it's an inside joke.

Q. Why are Russian nesting dolls so difficukt?
A. 'Cause they're so full of themselves.

Q. What do you say to friends who are going on their dream vacation to a German city?
A. Bonn Voyage.

Q. What did the German version of The Wizard of Oz include?
A. Munich-kins.

Q. What is Bigfoot called in Europe?
A. Bigmeter.

Q. How is Europe like your fridge?
A. The freeing cold part is on the top. The middle has the cheese, meet, and beverages. On the bottom, you just have turkey and grease.

Q. What's one way America and Europe are different?
A. Americans call inbred resident hillbillies, and Erupeans call theirs royalty.

Q. How do Europeans refer to Miley Cyrus?
A. Kilometer Cyrus.

Q. Which joke punch line is the same in every European country?

Q. Where are you if you're riding down the the road in the Alps and see a bear?
A. On the road to bruin.

Q. What do porpoises call a boring sailorman from a fiord near Helinski?
A. A dull Finn.

Q. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford the plane fare.

Q. Which European country should you visit if you enjoy being angry?
A. Ireland.

Wine Trivia: A Cork Retriever is not a dog from Ireland!

Q. What is the large gathering of enchanting Irish people called?
A. Lepre-Con.

Q. What do folks in Dublin call a baker?
A. Ginger bread man.

Q. Which ingredient do chefs add to spice up Irish dishes?
A. Gaelic cloves.

Q. Why did the old Scotsmen die?
A. Because he was dressed to be kilt.

Q. What did the king and queen do at the big brawl?
A. They put up their dukes.

Q. What is the hoseiery capital of Sweden?
A. Sockholm.

Q. What is the Italian equivalent to the NRA called?
A. Prosciutto.

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