Did you hear the latest gardening joke about the dandlion?
A. It's weedy bad.
Trivia: Did you know the cheetah is faster dandelion?
What does it take to become a noted dandelion botanist?
A. You need to be outstanding in the field.
What is a dandy-lion?
A. A big wild cat wearing a dapper hat.
Which unwanted garden plant is truly something
to sneeze at?
How did the camper end up with a poison ivy rash in his
A. It was a real head-scrathcer.
Pick Up Poetry in Motion:
Roses are red, Lilies are white, weed make a great couple,
you know I'm sow right.
Which western weed is a natural gymnast?
A. The Tumbleweed.
Which western weed do cowboys sing about?
A. Tumbling Tumbleweed.
What is the specialty of the French drug dealer?
How are dandelions and homeless urban drug addicts alike?
A. Give 'em a little crack and some water, and they can
pop up anywhere.
What's the opposite of crab grass?
A. Happy 420 grass in Colorado.
Why is crab grass such a drag?
A. 'Cause it's just not lobster.
Grown Pick Up Line:
Weed be cute together.
Which day of the week do burned out light bulbs enjoy the
A. WeedsDay! 'Cause matches, lighters, candles and stove
burners light up the night.
Bad Garden Chat Up Line:
Hey baby, wanna see if the grass really is greener on my
side of the fence?
How did the old landscaper die?
A. He was weeded out.