Colorado Mountain Jokes.

Q.
Why are jokes about the Colorado Rocky Mountains so funny?

A. Because they're hill-arious!

Q.
Why did the blonde tourist smack her camera with a frying
pan?

A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot of Pike's Peak!

Q.
What does any eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?

A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough!

Q. What do you call the insatiable urge to climb all of
Colorado 14-ers?

A. Being drawn to scale.

Colorado
Factoid: Getting to the top of the mountain is great fun,
but it's all downhill from there.

Q.
What do you call an insanely crazy bike trail in the Colorado
mountains?

A. A cycle-path!

Q.
What happens if a see-level eyeball travels to
the top of Pike's Peak too quickly?

A. It gets Eye Altitude Sickness.

Q. How do you describe the hiker who always climbed to the
summit of Pike's Peak on her birthday?

A. Getting up there in years.

Q.
What do Colorado brown bears call campers in sleeping bags?

A. Soft Tacos!

Q.
How did the blonde hipster drown?

A. She ice skated on Evergreen Lake before it was cool.

Q.
Why are Colorado Rocky Mountain puns so funny?

A. Because they really peak your interest!

Q.
What do you call the guy who misplaced the gooey treats
on the Colorado mountain camping trip?

A. A s'more loser!

Q. Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing in Colorado?

A. That's the fastest way to the bottom.

Q.
What is a Colorado skier's mantra?

A. There's snow place like home!

Q.
Who do Summit County locksmiths call for comic relief?

A. The Keystone Cops.

Q.
What do you call a Colorado doctor who lives at a tent-filled
mountain resort to treat visitor's afflictions?

A. A camp-pain manager.

Q.
What do Coloradans call the large hill where baby animals
and plant sprouts flourish?

A. The Mountain of Youth.

Q.
What happened when Gold walked into the bar in Cripple Creek,
Colorado?

A. The bartender yelled, "AU, get out!"

Q.
What can you do if you want to learn more about Pikes Peak?

A. You study up on it.

Q.
How are Colorado's mountains able to see?

A. They peak.

Q.
What do you call a Colorado high country hiker who tells
tall tales?

A. A snow fake.

Q.
What did the Colorado tourist, who had put on some pounds,
say to the other mountain hikers?

A. Weight up!

Did
you hear about the Colorado mountain climber who broke his
left arm and left leg? He's all right now.

Q.
What do you call a very slow skier?

A. A slope-poke.

Q.
Why do Colorado cows like to ski at Aspen?

A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q.
What should you do if you're hiking in the mountains north
of Colorado and see a posted warning about grizzlies?

A. Bear that in mind!

Q.
Why didn't the bald eagle on top of Pike's Peak think he'd
be a suspect in the Cripple Creek crime?

A. Because he was above suspicion.

Colorado
Point to Ponder: Does the song Rocky Mountain High
make John Denver the Nostradamus of this generation?

Q.
Why did the Colorado brewer name his new craft beer Rocky
Mountain Wry?

A. Because it's a real barrel of laughs!

Q.
What kind of music should you play while visiting Gypsum,
Colorado?

A. Light Rock.

Q.
What kind of music should you listen to while visiting Basalt,
Colorado?

A. Classic Rock.

Q.
Why should you stay a mile high?

A. The view is amazing up here.

Three
blonde hikers were in the pine forest and came across some
tracks. The first one said, "It looks like bear tracks."
The second said, "No, it looks like beaver tracks."
Before the third could say anything, they all got hit by
a train... Dam!

Q.
Why are there so many Bigfoot sightings on Mt. Elbert in
Colorado?

A. Because it's in the Sawatch Range.

Q. Why are Colorado's Rocky Mountains the most fun place
to go on your road vacation?

A. Because they're hill areas!

Q.
What is the real reason the historic Pike's Peak Cog Railway
was shut down?

A. It was too expensive to make up cover stories about all
the Bigfoot sightings!

Q.
How did the Colorado 14-er know the foothill was lying?

A. Because it was only a bluff.

Colorado
is the only place where it's acceptable for a man to brag
about how many 14-ers he's been on top of.

Q.
Why did the blonde Colorado tourist hate the winding road
over Guanella Pass?

A. It was driving her crazy!

Classic
Colorado Locksmith Pick-Up Line:
Hey girl, let's meet up at Keystone for a run down
the slope.

Colorado
High Country Point to Ponder: Bigfoot and the moniker
Front Range Foothills. Coincidence or not?

Q.
What do you call a group of Colorado mountain bruins that
are cracking each other up?

A. A bear-all of laughs.

Q.
Where will you find the most female skinny dippers in the
Colorado high country?

A. Beaver Creek.

Did
you hear about the Colorado tourist who got cold while paddling
up stream? He lit a fire in his boat, only to discover you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Q.
What do Colorado snowshoers get if they sit in the mountain
snow for too long?

A. Polaroids!

Q.
Why do hipsters dig mine shafts in the Colorado Rockies?

A. Because they're so far underground!

Rocky
Mountain Point to Ponder: If a bear farts in the woods,
and nobody is around to hear it, would a hipster buy the
soundtrack?

Q.
Did the hikers enjoy climbing around on St. Mary's Glacier
near Winter Park, Colorado?

A. Yes, they had an ice day!

Q.
What do Coloradans call a hipster in the mountain town,
Central City, who plays poker well?

A. Chipster.

Q.
How do Colorado Blue Spruces access the Internet?

A. They log in!

Q.
Why are Colorado Rocky Mountain jokes so funny?

A. Because they're so high!

Q.
How do Coloradans describe a happy mountaineer?

A. On top of the world.

Q.
If a hipster trips and falls in the Evergreen, Colorado
forest, does he make a sound?

A. Yes, but you won't likely hear of it.